by jazz 15 Replies latest jw friends
Fred,
Sorry for making fun of you. I didn't realize that english was a second language for you. You aren't from an english speaking country are you?
It would explain a lot about your posts. Not the complete level of stupidity but at least the grammar and spelling.
BTW Fred, I'm not married because I choose not to be, what is your excuse?
Hi Jazz,
Well, this really is an ugly situation. I know, I've lived it.
Even though I had many doubts about the faithfulness of my husband, I couldn't prove anything. To top it off he made it clear to me that he "expected" to be free to remarry in the Kingdom Hall. With his temper, I was not going to test him as to what "or else" meant.
So I chose to get on with my life. For me, that meant that after my divorce was final (when I was legally, if not "scripturally" free) I decided not to delay a physical relationship with the man who would become my second husband. I had no interest in staying in the organization, so I have not regretted that decision one moment.
The sad truth is that you can not get a divorce, stay in the organization, and remarry and stay in good standing, unless your wife commits adultery and confesses. Which doesn't sound likely.
So your choices would seem (on the surface, I don't know your details) to be:
1. Stay married.
2. Get divorced and stay celibate, keeping your good standing in the org.
3. Get divorced, get on with your life, and not care anymore what the organization thinks of you.
I know that if you have family in (as I do) that the choice to leave the organization is agonizing. There are major consequences.
These are hard choices that only you can make, and you shouldn't rush them. I don't advocate anyone going out and finding a partner just to 'get it over with'. so to speak. If my situation hadn't been what it was, I would have stayed single. I know he would have cracked sooner or later. I just chose not to play that game.
I wish you luck.
*hugs*
essie
julien said:
would you be DF for sleeping with your ex if neither of you were 'scripturally free' to remarry?
Yes, you could. Of course if you both confessed and were very, very sorry they might just reprove you.
Having any form of sex (see Englishman's post) when not legally married to each other constitutes fornication in the minds of the GB, and thus possible disfellowshipping.
Isn't that bizarre? You can't sleep with anyone else because you're not scripturally free, but you can't sleep with your ex because you're not legally married. See how they keep miserable couples together? And they say they don't believe in hell!
You really should give more to go on here. A post like yours just isn't enough to say do this or do that.
Let me ask you a few questions. First and foremost, do you have children? You have to consider them first if you are thinking of a divorce.
What has made you consider divorce, and is it something you both have talked about?
Do you think there is infidelity on her part? The remark you made that she doesn't trust you anymore kind of makes me wonder.
But again, like I said if you have kids you have to think of them first and base your decision on them. Not you or the organization, the kids.
mike.
wasa: I have always figured that was the case.. I think that example perfectly encapsulates the type of nonsense the JWs treat as life and death important rules.
The whole reason you are not scripturally free is that (they reason) Jehovah doesn't recognize the divorce.. thus in his eyes you are still married. Yet if you have sex with your non-legal but scriptural wife, you could be organizationally executed. How many JWs can see the complete stupidity of this policy?
If anyone writes to the Society (we still have WTS in Aussie) enquiring about the basis for a 'scriptural' divorce, the letter in reply will be based on this, from Service Department data-base. (We still have Service Department too).
EVIDENCE OF ADULTERY OR PORNEIA
1. Admission of guilt to the elders by the one charged with adultery.
2. At least two witnesses (reliable) preferably witnesses to the same incident. (strong circumstancial evidence but not positive proof).-Deut. 19:15; John 8:17
3. Written statement by a Christian saying his unbelieving mate personally confessed that she committed adultery/porneia. - w 77 pp607-8
Thought you'd like to know that. [8>]
Cheers, Ozzie
