Run but you'll never hide from The Truth©

unclebruce

2pm Wednesday Feb 23 rd 2006 McDonalds Family Restaurant Merimbula NSW

Today I was working in the big smoke (Merimbula population 4,000) and decided to dine at the only Scottish/American Restaurant in the entire Bega Valley.

The mature age guy who served my ozburger and fries was a black american. Americans are pretty rare in these parts and black ones especially so. Larry and I struck up a conversation (especially after the silly bugger had trouble with the slurpy dooz-a-whats-it and send icecream and m&m's everywhere .

Later, I'm halfway through my beetroot burger and Larry strikes up a conversation with a guy nearby with the look and manner of a JW Elder.

Larry: Here have a free voucher (hands one to Bro. Whitehead and one to me)

Elder: Oh thankyou Larry, I love my thickshakes!

Larry: What's that?

Elder: Thanks for your card, I love your thickshakes.

Larry: What you doing tonight?

Elder: I'm conducting a bible study.

Larry: Oh.

Elder: Yes, If there's anything you want to know about the bible, I'm your man.

Unc: Thinks – holy shit!.. nearly chokes on 's sesame seed bun

Larry: Gives me a wink and says: Oh I had enough bible learning when I was a kid.

Elder: And do you think about that when you're using your truncheon? (mistaking Larry: for a security guard? .. making a pass?)

Larry: eh?

Having now exhausted their skill at impromptu small talk they are now both looking at me.

Unc: I think the man is offering you a free home bible study Larry.

Larry: Makes deep south guttural noise and heads back to the kitchen.

Elder: With puzzled look on face says: hello, my name is John.

Unc: thinks: piss off prick. says: g'day, my name is unclebruce.

Elder: Er What?

Unc: Unclebruce .. that's what I'm known as on JWD.

Elder: ?

Unc: slowly - Jehovah's Witness Discussion Forum – its on the internet. Check it out, you'll love it. Gotta go .. cheers

Elder: ?..bye

Normally JW's don't get to me personally (how can you get upset by a retard?.. one just makes allowances) but afterwards I felt myself getting quite angry at this simpleton and had to tell myself to calm down. I think the fact that I'd recently had a run in with several of the goons must have triggered something deep that and a PO's wife recently insulted my daughter, insinuating she was a slut because she wasn't married – Amy is 22 and has never even had a boyfriend.

Bastard put me off my chips .. anyway I put a good word in for you lot

skyman

Love it keep them on their toes.

slugga

Amy is 22 and has never even had a boyfriend.

When did you say I could come stay?

LOL

daystar

" beetroot burger", "thickshakes", "truncheon", "chips"...

These are all words/phrases I had to look up or modify my mental image of while reading your post. It's a bit fascinating to me.

I thought to myself:

"I wonder how a beetroot burger differs from the sort of burgers I grill, and would I like it? I bet I would..."

"Is a thickshake the same as a milkshake? How that word would change the impact of that "Milkshake" song."

"Truncheon... the security guards don't carry pistols there?"

"Chips... not chips, fries; not chips, fries; not chips, fries..."

Glad you got to promote JWD!

unclebruce

g'day daystar

I thought thickshakes were an American invention? - like a milkshake but so thick you gotta suck yourself red in the face to get it up the straw lol.

Yep, security guards carry guns (god knows why Elderman thought Larry had a truncheon).

A true Australian hamburger must have beetroot. It's just one of them unwritten laws of the universe

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Hey slugga - Amy's not your type!

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Love it keep them on their toes.

You just read the worst public talk thread eh lol

FreedomFrog

Off topic...(sorry) but are you talking about BEETS (like the little deep purplish-red veggie that my mom use to make us eat it cause "it's good in iron) on hamburgers....eeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

Are they "fresh" beets or are they the kind you get from the can? Hmmmm, I've never heard of beets on hamburgers. Maybe I'm missing something.

unclebruce

yep that's the ones ~~freedom fries~~ freedom frog,

You can catch 'em in can or grow your own. Skin them, boil them in a pressure cooker for about 15 minutes, pickle them in raw vinegar and lots of sugar ..yummo .. just like mother used to make.

cheers unc

PS: Oz Burgers cost an extra 50c - gourmet doesn't come cheap ya know