I remember years ago a "sister" (I'll call her "Betty") had transferred into our congregation from another congo. Apparently she had been put on public reproof at her old hall. But when she started attended my KH most of the witnesses there "shunned" her to the point when the presiding overseer had to make an annoucement to the congo that went like this "some of you friends are treating sister Betty as if she is a Disfellowshipped person. But for the record sister Betty is not been DF or DA but was only reproved. So will you that are shunning her stop shunning her thank you". I was shocked because I had heard many people say she was Disfellowshipped so I was part of the shunning committee. I later apologized to sister Betty and started talking to her again. I was wondering how many people that were only on reproof were treated like they were DF'd and had to go to the elders to announce that they were not DF'd.
Did you know of any "Reproved" JWs that were "shunned" as if they were DF'd
by booker-t 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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serendipity
No.
I remember when I heard an announcement for a reproved JW, I was too embarrassed to talk to him or even make eye contact, at that meeting. I thought I would say the wrong thing. But afterwards, I didn't shun him/her.
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purplesofa
I have seen it done.............public reproof.......and not knowing what the offense is......makes people fear that person is bad association.
I have heard announcements of public reproof and been shocked not knowing anything of the circumstances.
I think public reproof sucks too.........
purps
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candidlynuts
i'm one of them..
reproved.. my child wont talk to me because i'm a threat to her spirituality and i know what to do if i want to ever have a relationship with family ever again.
as for the rest of the cong.. i moved away but when i would see them before i moved they would nod at me but not say hi or anything. i guess i should be grateful for the gracious nod eh?
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blondie
While there is no complete cutoff of contact, reproved (and reinstated) JWs are treated like "marked" JWs; usually the only association will be at the meeting and in the ministry; socializing is kept to a minimum.
Of course, every individual and congregation will handle this differently. I can remember a brother asking the elders why no one invited him to their homes or to any social occasions. He had been reproved about 9 months previous. He was told that he was still considered dangerous spiritually by some and that it was that person's prerogative (see "marking").
I personally believe that that the elders misapplied this concept of marking to this situation because "marked" individuals are continuing in behavior the elders don't approve of, whereas reinstated and publicly reproved JWs have supposedly put their bad behavior behind them. But they do tend to be treated as lepers.
Blondie
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Honesty
Public Reproof gets you shunned.
Private Reproof gets all the brothers and sisters wondering why you aren't commenting at the meetings, carrying mikes, giving talks, etc.
It is all about control and moral purity which are traits of a cult.
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luna2
When I was a new dub I reluctantly bought into the notion that staying away from marked or reproved individuals was the thing to do and that shunning those DF'd or DA'd was also justifiable. Like they had to be "punished" so that they knew there were behaviors they couldn't get away with. It bugged me, but I convinced myself that Jehoober would guide the elders so that only those who really, really deserved it got sanctioned like that. It's a load of crap, but you tell yourself these fairy stories in order to make unpalatable things go down easier.
When it happens to you or your family, though, you get to see that mostly what this sort of treatment does is push you away. It's mean and it doesn't encourage anybody...except maybe those who smugly think they are the favored few and enjoy the juvenile pleasure of demonstrating their superiority.
You'd think that a spiritual people would be a bit more focused on personal growth and enlightenment and not on identifying everybody's faults and then making sure they feel the righteous disapproval from the congregation. I guess that's all you can expect, though, from a group that is based on winning prizes for following all the rules and selling the most magazines for their god.
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IMustBreakAway
Public reproof = a marking but someone could be marked without being on public reproof. If the elders decide that something someone is doing say drinking coffee is wrong and want to warn others about drinking coffee but can't find scriptual reason to punish them offically they can have a marking talk. Basicly a local needs talk on why drinking coffee is evil and why ascociating with someone who does would be equally evil. Of course everyone knows that Br. useshisgodgivenfreewill drinks coffee and they unoffically shun him.
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rebel8
I saw many avoid them so they could feel holier than thou. There were a few folks who would always go up to the scarlet letter victim after the announcement and congratulate them on their repentant attitude. This seemed to have been done with sincerity but was probably worse for the victim than silence. It was so condescending.
"Sister Sleezy, Jehovah is a loving God who forgives even the worst of sins. Thankfully you were able to take advantage of his loving kindness and straighten yourself out. Maybe after a year or two I will do you the honor of inviting you to my house for dinner for fellowship, a round of singing Kingdom Melodies, and if I can find enough dubs willing to be in the same building as you, we could play some bible games too! Yeah! Jehovah is so loving, to be willing to forgive even the gravest of sins like the one you committed when you wore a skirt with a slit, you slut! Although you will never be treated with respect, your friends will always look upon you with disdain, and your chance for hooking up with anyone but the most unappealing single brothers is nil, you can take comfort in knowing that you'll be able to live forever with all of us! Just be sure to keep wearing that scarlet letter so we can all remember how superior we are to you." (Well that's what they really meant, isn't it?)
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Alana
Private Reproof gets all the brothers and sisters wondering why you aren't commenting at the meetings, carrying mikes, giving talks, etc.
You know, in retrospect, the elders did me a huge favor when I was privately reproved.......I no longer felt the pressure of having to participate at the meetings......I didn't study just in order to find a comment to make my token effort. I actually listened and studied for myself. I also paid more attention to what was being said and thus the seeds of doubt began to sprout more and more by what I actually saw and heard. I saw the obvious parroting of the "food" being provided and no real thinking or explaining.
Right now I am actually just inactive.....for about 10 years now......and some people either treat me like I'm DF'd or DA'd or seem uncomfortable when they see me.....like they don't know if something has been announced or not. I will speak and if they want to avoid me, then so be it. However, my hometown congregation will still treat me pretty well.....probably because my elderly mom still attends......if I go to a funeral or something. However, they won't go out of their way to invite me to any anniversary or other gathering.....guess I might pollute it. Since my wedding last year in the Methodist Church, I'm wondering what some of them think. I think some were just glad I got married, instead of living in sin, for my mom's sake. My husband tries to emphasize to me that it doesn't matter what they think.
(sorry for hijacking the thread....)
"Alana"