by pratt1 8 Replies latest jw experiences
For those of you that have been DFed - How long did it take you to be reinstated, and how long did you continue to be active?
I was reinstated after 5 months out and I continued to be active for about 5 years.
Although I have to admit, I never felt the same about the dubs after I was reinstated, and should have quit the religion much earlier.
Couldn't be bothered to get reinstated. If I tried now, they wouldn't have me back.
First time when I when I was 16 it took about 6 months to get reinstated and I stayed active for a bout 3 weeks if I remember rightly.
Second time when I was 22 it took about 8 months and I stayed active for about about a day.
The problem was I enjoyed being disfellowshipped - it was nice not to have to speak to any of the people at the hall and be able to zip home straighjt after the meetings to watch TV. If I could have carreid on attending as a DFed person with no intention of reinstatement it probably woulda worked as my family were happy to have contact with me whilst I was tryign to get reinstated.
Now I am on 3rd time - not been to any meetings for 8 years.
I was reinstated after 5 months out and I continued to be active for about 5 years.Although I have to admit, I never felt the same about the dubs after I was reinstated, and should have quit the religion much earlier.
I had the same experience. I still thought it was "the truth", but I knew the reinstatement process was not Jehovah's will. No way could torturing people like that be what a loving God wanted. I decided to "wait on Jehovah", which is interesting considering that it wasn't Jehovah that was delaying. Cognitive dissonance is a beautiful thing, eh?
Dave
My mother had allergies and we sat in one of the back rooms most of the times. I got to watch the D/Fed as they came in and left. They always looked so humiliated... When there was an announcement that someone was D/Fed, the feeling in the hall turned so cold. If the person was there, everyone would turn and look, there might as well have been a search light right on them. It horrified me every time. I grew up with a phobia about disfellowshipping...that ominous announcement in front of everybody. I refused to pretend they didn't exist...I would meet their eyes and smile. If no one was around I would say hi. When I found out the disfellowshipped me, even though I was way past wanting to be a Witness anymore, all my previous fears washed over me...and then I got mad because it was yet another control method, proved effective. There's no way I could return to the Witness song and dance in order to get reinstated. After the 3rd meeting I'd probably strip off all my clothes and scream profanities.
It is a humiliating process, but I can understand why some ppl want to go through it for family's sake and then fade off. From what I read on this forum reinstated JWs are never really forgiven and treated as before which means they continue to be marked. That's really cultic.
I've never had to go through any of this stuff, but I know plenty of people who have. I agree that they are NEVER fully forgiven for what they have done. I find it amazing that what a person does has to be made public in front of everybody he knows. It is just so ignorant. The congregation puts a label on that person that can never be taken away. The amazing thing I find is that elders complain about how people are never fully accepted back and that people are not forgiving enough. Don't they realize this is the outcome of spreading dirt and labeling a person "bad". They put this person in a low and destestable position, and then complain that people arn't accepting of them later on. How bogus.
They will never see that the entire process is flawed. Like many of us, they are blinded by the "truth".
I got DF'd back in 1984. Was out for a year and a half. Didn't really do much since then. Just came back because of family. Now I'm on the verge of leaving on my own terms this time. Never looking back.
I wasn't d'fd but was disassociated which meant that you were an unbaptized publisher and should be treated as if you were d'fd, I remember having to meet with the elders and telling them that I was pregnant....and a sister telling me that if I were there for the announcement it would be a great show of rependence...I was 17 at the time...my nonjw family throw me out because I was pregnant and my jw family wouldn't have anything to do with me because I had been disassociated-(by the way, the arrangement was done away with as stated in the November 15, 1988-Watchtower, the only reason I remember this is because I was at my JW sister's house and in labor when an elder called her to let her know that she could talk to me now because of what the Society printed in that WT).
well to make a long story short...I had my baby and some of the sisters throw me a baby shower that is when you really find out who are your true friends, you see during my 9 months of pregnancy- I made every meeting and even attended the circuit assembly-it is funny now when I look back...the first meeting back it was as if as I had never been shun...talk about mind control.
