deneranys
JoinedI was born in Dallas, OR to a D/F father and active mother. I have three older sisters...one witness, one halfwit (a witness in name), and an ex-witness like me. My mother was severely abused by her father and men in the congregation...abuse in rampant in my family. I am the youngest daughter and for the most part, I escaped a lot of hell that those I love went through...I watched a lot of pain unfolding as I grew up. When I was 8 or 9 I wondered whether Jehovah was real or not, whether Witnesses have the "truth" or not, but I kept it to myself. Only in my most secret fantasies did I contemplate what the world would be like if it wasn't true... As a teenager, I invariably did a few witness no-no's, but I never confessed my sins to anyone and lived my own private hell of guilt and shame. It was all I had motivating me into action as a Witness. I've had battles with my sexual identity my entire life. I was a "tom boy" that never seemed to grow out of it. At 21 years old, as I separated from my husband of 3 years, stopped talking to my mother, and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I had to face myself in order to move on. Part of that were all those secret feelings, dreams...about other women. This is not an easy thing to come to grips with when you are a Witness. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I now have a wonderful partner and a brand-new baby boy.