by Sparkplug 37 Replies latest jw friends
I have an 18 yr old and 20 yr old.............The same thing happens around here. I buy food on a budget and then they eat it all up.
I quit buying food.........and make them buy their own.
My son has a safe in his room and he puts stuff in it. LOL
My daughter puts stuff in her room.
Doesnt matter if I spend 50 bucks or 300 bucks ......the food all gets eaten in about the same time.
They just dont understand what it takes to run a household.
Hey Spark ... don't forget to breathe!!! Raising kids can be a full time nightmare ... uhhh ... I mean job. tehehee ... I think taking a minute to run away from home is a great idea. Then when you come back things may seem a little better.
What I have learn from being a kid and raising one is kids lie out of fear mostly. When they are in a lose lose situation they lie. So do some adults. I have no solution for you. I have one daughter and I give her run of the house regarding food. And as far as life goes she is not prone to fibbing. But there are some great suggestions on here.
And for the teens who are prone to lieing ... who knows how to make them feel comfortable enough to tell the truth all the time. When they discover that pill somebody gonna get rich!!
Dont forget ... this too shall pass ... hugs, smiles
I have so many great comments here I want to address, but I must say Nina, (Not Cruzenheart) that it would be really interesting if you yourself posted your private PM to me. It was really funny, but so harsh that it was also a bit insulting. I think that you only meant to help, but I am not at all what you seem to be thinking. (via your PM) So if you could please post it, then we can all talk more freely. Personally a lot of what you wrote was so off base, that I cannot begin to understand (without your help) where your perceptions came from.
See, I don't know you, but if you knew me...you would know that I am by no means destitute. I work hard for a big corporation and own my own business. It is new, but it is profitable. It is hard work, but I manage to keep everyone fed, clothed and in extra things like band. I am not at all a "paint my nails" kind of girl. We eat out if we can, but the most commom place for us to eat is a vegetarian food place down the road that uses no added things like monosodium Glutamate. (SP) I often crock pot it. Putting it on when I go to work, and it is done when we get home. I save for retirement and if I ever have to borrow, it is promptly paid back. No we are not rich, but we are not poor. Just daily life cost. Not rolling in the dough, but not destitute. Could be better and could be a LOT worse...believe me, if you read anything about me, I have been there and I have a drive in me that has, does and will take me far. If I slip up, I work harder. There is not a time in my life that you could say I sat on my bumm.
I do not have extended family to buy for really. I do also help take care of my elderly mom. That is just a responsibility I have.
I can't hardly shove any more food into the kitchen to feed that boy. He chooses to eat the stuff for meals or drink a case of soda if he thinks he can get by with it. (It is not because I can not or do not supply his needs). He is almost (is not) 6" tall and wears a size 12 shoe.
He is a 34" pant. So, no, in answer to to your questions, my children are not fat at all. In fact my two girls qualify as undersized, but it is genetic. I have to say, that I am not fat either. I am a mom who works in a desk all day, and works in a desk all night till 2AM and then works more in a desk in order to complete my education. I am not a tiny size 1-5, but a healthy (and working towards more so) size 12. I am also just shy of 5' 7"
My baby girl does like sugar, (so we monitor her) my son likes soda and my middle girl does not like either that much. She likes pickles. I think this is a pretty normal family. So when I asked him about the soda, it was out of concern that he does not drink too much. There was no reason to lie. All he had to do was say, yeah I did, and I would have said something that let him know that is a bit excessive. Cut back a bit.
My real reason for the post was "the lie". I just wanted to know if anyone had a kid that lied about stupid stuff (about if the sky was blue today.) You know, silly things that don't require any thought. I am curious as to where you got this whole scenario about me not feeding my kids enough from. That was some pretty strange stuff you posted.
I teach high school. Teenaged boys (most, at least) eat nonstop. They sit in class when they are supposed to be working talking about food. One pair of boys, this year, has had the same conversation about sandwiches about a dozen times. Several years back, I had two boys in class that talked about what they watched on the cooking channel like it was porn.When I lived with my older teenaged brother, my mom had to give me food to hide in my room so my brother would not find it and eat it. My parents did discover was that if it took a long time to prepare, it was less likely to disappear....So meat stayed frozen, as did pasta sauce, etc. "Good Dinners" consisted of small roasts (take an hour roast), rather than steaks that can be broiled in ten minutes. My brother was capable of eating two pounds of deli meat in a less than five minutes. There was always plenty of popcorn we could pop, a can of soup we could open, or the ever present Top Ramen.
And there was never soda in our house, not even juice (liquid candy, essentially). Water was fine, and if we wanted it flavored, there was unsweetened koolaid that we had to make (and mix in the sugar) ourselves.
What finally solved the problem was when my brother went to work at a restaurant that provided a full meal (and all the soda he could drink) for the shift. It was a match made in heaven. Your son is 16. Send him to work at a pasta restaurant. Make him eat there and fill up. He will also probably be working during the dinner hour, so it kills two roast chickens with one stone....
Good Luck!
Shoshana
Shoshana, I loved your post. You hit the nail on the head. Therefore the staples and steaks because they take longer to prepare. I did just teach him how to make a roast, so we could be in for trouble.
When I lived with my older teenaged brother, my mom had to give me food to hide in my room so my brother would not find it and eat it. My parents did discover was that if it took a long time to prepare, it was less likely to disappear....So meat stayed frozen, as did pasta sauce, etc.Sad thing is he has been taught to cook spaghetti, and broiled chicken and all the rest. He is very good actually. My 13 year old daughter can cook well also. They both started learning at about age 8. I do not want them growing up and having to eat out because they do not cook. I have people I know like that, and it gets really old fast.
My real reason for the post was "the lie". I just wanted to know if anyone had a kid that lied about stupid stuff (about if the sky was blue today.) You know, silly things that don't require any thought. I am curious as to where you got this whole scenario about me not feeding my kids enough from. That was some pretty strange stuff you posted.
http://www.notmykid.org/parentArticles/Lying/
You might check this out Sparky and find an answer to your situation.
However as regards the lying issue, I don't give my kids the chance to lie. If I see something like the whole pint of HaagenDazs missing when I just bought it the day before, I go to the 16 year old and say, "I REALLY DO NOT APPRECIATE that you did not think enough of me to save some ice cream. I try not to buy too many sweets and that is just a signal that I should buy FEWER."I usually get an appropriate look of guilt, embarrasment, a hug and an apology.
The above comment is so similar to what I have to discuss all the time with him.
The two girls will talk it out...he is Stonewall Jackson.
BillyGoat!- Naw, he is not embarrassed he is hungry, I think he is embarrased that he ate all the treats. When I say treats, I mean a whole 10 lb bag of oranges. Instead of making a sandwich, and getting an orange, perhaps round it out with some thing else...he will eat a ten lb bag of oranges, and say, "Uh, I did not know you wanted any." See?
The boy can eat as much as he is tall. So then, say he starts in on sandwiches. He will eat all the cheese slices, and then wonder why we are upset when the girls and I have dry sandwiches and no orange. lol. It just cycles. I actually buy cheese and freeze the slices so that there is about 4 packs of 24 slices for a couple weeks. There is always fruit, or frozen fruit...that lil' baby you like so much loves frozen grapes. I find myself buying food he hates, so it will stay around longer. That is really sorry bummed of him.
I have a son that's 6' 3" and he is thin...could eat me out of house and home!!! And yes, I'd come in and find that he had already fixed the steaks that I was thawing for dinner and wondered what we were having for dinner!!! Some of his friends could make him look like he was snacking! Some people have a higher metabolism than others. The best thing your son could do is to work at a restaurant and get more food there.
About the lying...I always wanted my sons to tell me the truth no matter what. So they feel that they can tell me ANYTHING and now I wish I didn't know what I do! Does that make sense? Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it!
Swalker (covers ears sometimes! )
There is always fruit, or frozen fruit...that lil' baby you like so much loves frozen grapes.
Aww, a baby after my own heart. I swear, if I could stick her in my purse and take her home I would. Seriously. I love that doll! I love all your kids - you've done a fabulous job with all three.
