Deepening Saddness (page 2)

Amazing

Thanks everyone for great comments. HS, I especially appreciate your post because it is a beautifully written response, and most uplifting. I took the liberty of posting it on a private forum of ex-JWs. I think that most ex-JWs are very good people who have done remarkably well in making a new life. I that is among the reasons I love to post here often, so that I can draw upon the richness of others and share in return. Thanks again. - Amazing

Jeremy Bravo

Amazing,

You can live vicariously through me.

HAHAHAHAHA
Jer.

Amazing

Hi Jeremy: Thanks for the good thought! And in reality, there is much truth to what you suggest. My own children are ages, 23, 25, 27, 29. Yes, my wife and I were prolific in a short time, often referred to as Verle Earl and Fertile Myrtle.

So, in addition to helping my own children out of the Borg, I take pleasure in helping anyone else, especially younger men like yourself, who will be spared many years or even decades of a misspent life. - Amazing

Ustabee

Amazing:

I, too, have looked back on all those years with a certain amount of regret. I was baptized in 1976 and felt so smug having all the answers. Guess what? Now all I have are questions. However, we are what we are because of our experiences. I learned a lot of things in the JW's. Primarily how to deal with and approach people and they taught me to be a public speaker. All of which has helped me immensely. Would I do it again? Hell, no! I am so totally glad to be out of it and have my family out, too.

I prefer the questions to the answers the WTS has, that's for sure. I look on the bright side in my own situation: 1) I have a lovely wife. 2) Fantastic grandchildren 3) One fast as hell motorcycle 4) A decent job that I enjoy. You are obviously looking on your bright side and that will always make you feel better. I went through months of depression after learning the 'Truth' about the 'Truth', but it got better and now I am just taking one day at a time and enjoying the hell of it.

The only I know for sure is: that I don't know anything for sure.

Billygoat

Amazing,

My father joined the Tower back in 1979 - I was a mere 8 years old. But having been raised in jdubdom, I am as much a fly in their web as you were coming into it as an adult. I have just turned 30, doing the same thing you and HS have already done for years. Looking back with sadness and regret.

I am thankful that I got out when I did. (At a young 19 years of age.) So I've escaped with youthful years still ahead. But what I mourn are my years as a child. Child slavery was more like it. I cry for that little girl that was mocked at school for being so different. I cry for the loneliness of being the only JW in a whole town! I cry for those lost dreams (being in sports/cheerleading) and lost aspirations (college degree). As childish as some of those losses may be, they are still lost. Some to be found. Some not to be.

But please know that I look to you and others like Maximus and Kent and waiting for guidance and answers and hopefully to learn from your experiences. So many questions that haunt...

How can I make up for lost time? What can I do to not lose anymore time? How can I live a fuller life now? Will I ever complete the mourning of those losses? Of that little girl? Those are only a few of the questions I have. Of course you don't have to answer them. But know that there are younger ones like me and Jeremy and so many more that appreciate your knowledge and wisdom and integrity. So your experiences are not a loss - so many like me are gaining from them. You have made a huge impact on me already! Much larger than you will ever realize! A simple thank you is NOT enough, but for now, all I have to give. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

With Christian love,
Andi

Flip

...and share in return.

Amaz', what ever 'life' you and other former and current Jehovah's Witness may have lost, has been gained by the countless others who've learned from the quality of research provided concerning the WTB&TS corporation that once controlled them.

Thank you very, very much for your time.

Flip

Amazing

Hi Andi: I very much appreciate your post and kind remarks to me. Should you decide that you wish to correspond with me, you can email me at [email protected]. Thanks again, great post, and well stated. - Amazing

waiting

Howdy Amazing,

I can't top HS's eloquence, but I've thought about these things, like I think everyone who leaves an organization unhappily does.

I started studying at 18 - straight out of hs, 1968. I had quite a few hidden emotional problems due to childhood. The WTBTS had a security to it - and I think that was the overwhelming factor for me. Answers, black & white. I didn't get baptized for 3 yrs, did not want to commit; I did finally because they said they'd have to stop studying with me.

But what would have happened if I didn't meet this idiot jw guy in retrospect? Might have taken my aunt's offer to go to college where she taught - the kicker being I would have to live with her. I don't think I would have fared well, in fact, I think I would have flipped in college - and not for the better.

I could have gone to Art School on scholarship, but I don't think my dad would have allowed that to come to pass.

I was also thinking about joining the military to get out of my house. That was in 1968, and I probably would have ended up a nurse in Viet Nam, I'm pretty sure I would have flipped out for a long time.

So, in retrospect, that was the way it was. I came out of the org with a fine husband (2nd jw - not an idiot) and 3 beautiful children and my personality(s) in tact. I'd like things to be different- but they're not. I would also like to be 20 lbs lighter, but am not.

But life goes on, and it's not bad. It could have been much worse.

waiting

Rex B13

Hi Amazing,
We are each molded and worked by the Maker's hands and our lives are shaped for His use of us. We are either drawn by the Father to Christ or not. We will side with the skeptics and look forward to a meaningless life then die, leaving our physical bodies behind and passing beyond the veil. What will each of us decide?
I hope that all will consider John 3.16,17; John 3.3; John 14.6; Romans 10.9-11; Eph. 2.8,9 and Rev. 3.20.
Rex

puppylove

Amazing,
My husband and I have pondered the same thoughts as you. What would we be today if we hadn't have grown up j-dubs? Would we be the same people, with the same outlook on life?

I don't think I will ever get over my regret of not going to college. Ah Hah went back to school in his 20's (with a wife and new baby to support). I wish I had done the same.

But our lives are what they are. We would never have met if we hadn't had j-dub friends/family in common. I wouldn't change that for anything.

We are very thankful to be out of that organization. Thankful to have come out of it together. Thankful that we have the rest of our lives to find out what we parts of our personality we have had to keep hidden for so many years. What talents we possess, what joys we have left to discover.

We are thankful we didn't go to our graves believing in a vengeful God and in the "divinity" of old men in Brooklyn.

Deepening Saddness

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