It REALLY does hurt

by inaneframe 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Cellist

  Welcome to the board, Inaneframe. I'm glad you found us.

  Cellist
• 

  MerryMagdalene

  Warm welcome, inaneframe. This a great place to talk things out. Glad you found it

  ~Merry
• 

  towanda

  Dear Nevada girl~

  Embrace growing up with the ability to communicate above and beyond the skill of most seven year olds! Embrace that your father was very wise and was genuine in his efforts to raise you within the "safety" of the witnesses. Also embrace the wise decision that you made for yoursef, despite obstacles to stand for what you believe, to educate yourself, to satisfy the "spiritual need" you have created for yourself.

  I read this forum for years prior to posting. It was very hard to hear of the witnesses as a cult. In time, you will come to your own conclusions on that matter. You are a wise young women who has come to appreciate what genuinley works and doesn't work for you. Keep listening to that little voice. Toss off the guilt (it never does us any good) and be proud of the journey that you are on. I was raised a dub too, gained a lot, lost a lot to leave, and have never regretted my decision, because it's sits comfortably with me to have left what wasn't working. Guilt, regret, fear...does us no good. Move on! Life just gets better and better! Good luck, little wolfpack! You'll love Reno!
• 

  daniel-p

  I don't like to hear it called a cult either, although I think it has more to do with the word's stigma (and rightly so) attached to more extreme groups and their leaders like Jim Jones or David Koresh. By all indications, the JW's are a cult, as far as the textbook defenition is concerned, although I prefer to call it a "high-control group." I think I do that to save a little bit of my ego in not admiting that I was "fooled" for so long. But it goes much deeper than being "fooled." We were PERSUADED and MANIPULATED to believe this and sometimes even BULLIED and COERCED, some of us from the day we were born. So give yourself some credit; yes, the pain goes deep.
• 

  Trojan

  It certainly hurts. It hurts me to think about my mother, how enthusiastic she is about "the Truth". She is a very intelligent woman, good heart and willing to help others. It hurts me a lot!!

  Since I lived many years in Germany, I can tell you that 80 million germans where deceived by the leaders of the Third Reich. During my pioneering time there, I talked to many, many older germans (in their 70, 80) and they are up til today dumbfounded on how they could have been deceived by a man! Think about it: a whole nation. Talking to them, not all of them where evil, or knew a lot about what was going on. Talking to they're sons and grandchildren, they feel the same as you. They do not wan't to think that their grandfathers where evil murders. Having studied a lot WWII history, I think ANY nation could have been in the same situation Germany was.....matter of fact, it is my personal believe for a long time that there are traits to the WT organization that create the same blindness, following leaders as the Nazi regime did....

  Yes. It hurts to get tricked and cheated by others....

  Trojan.
• 

  Carmel

  Most people who are deeply religious are so based not on intellect but on emotion! That's right! Why are we (editorial we) moved to join a group that sanctions our behavior if we don't get something out of it. Mere intellectual content is unlikely to satisfy 99% of humans. Their psychie is in need of emotional gratification, hence the stories of babes in mangers, walking on water, on and on, that are pathetically hard to accept in the rational mind, grip the vast majority of Christians as confirming evidence. One has to wonder how far we have really come from cave dwelling..

  carmel
• 

  caligirl

  I think it is normal to have a negative reaction to the word cult, given our upbringing. Having the word cult used to describe witnesses was tantamount to persecution. In my opinion, we were trained to have the word bring out our defenses. I remember disagreeing with someone who asked me (very sincerely, too) about witnesses being a cult. I was about 12 or 13 at the time. And despite deep down already knowing that I did not believe what I was being taught, I quoted from the reasoning book regarding the definition of cults and how they have to follow one man. My denial to him was swift and firm. And I still remember how uncomfortable I was even having it implied to me that it was a cult. The tern does not make me uncomfortable anymore, as I truly feel that it is accurate from my own extensive research.

  I did pick up on your statement about your parents: "It denotes to me that my parents weren't anymore than brainless zombies willing to accept any drivel passed under their noses" In my opinion, it does not denote brainlessness at all. I also respect my parents greatly. They are highly intelligent, college educated, and still went for all of this hook line and sinker. In all my research about high control groups, one thing that stands out is that the indoctrination process happens in such a way that the people who become involved don't even realize that they are being controlled, or sucked into a situation where their decision making ability will be compromised. I truly look at them as victims of propaganda and for whatever reason, they were vulnerable to whatever message caught their attention or maybe were at a crossroads in their lives when contacted. Or maybe they were just born into it all and never were given reason to question? For my parents, I think their bad childhoods contributed to their search for something better, some sort of life guidance that was missing in their own tumultuous upbringing anf the fact that they were not secure in their ability to create that for us without some sort of strong guidance.

  I highly recommend a book called 'Twisted Scriptures' by Mary Alice Charnelager.( I don't think I spelled her last name right, but you will still be able to find it.) The author has first hand experience with high control groups and is very good at clearly explaining how misuse of scripture gets people to follow them without question. Even if you are not a believer of the bible, it gives a clear picture of the step by step process that sucks people in and how common scriptures are misused or selectively quoted to produce a desired response.
• 

  anewme

  Welcome Inaneframe,
  
  I am happy for you that you are getting out of the org at an early age.
  
  I applaud you for the respect you show your father and the religion you were raised in.
  
  But I also applaud the respect you are showing yourself by living your life the way you see best.
  
  Best wishes to you in your new college surroundings!
  
  Anewme
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  A good book for you to read might be Combatting Cult Mind Control.

  It might help you to understand what a cult actually is. That way you can decide for yourself if the jw are a cult. If you decide it is a cult, It might even give you some answers to why such a smart guy like your father could join.

  CYP
• 

  stillAwitness

  There is also really deep seated conditioning to defend the organization and not to do anything that would tarnish it's name. It goes down to a much more subconscious level than one might expect and is extremly hard to root out.

  My thoughts exactly. Its like having a terrible mother but she's still your mother no matter how bad she treated you and you'd be damned to let someone speak bad about you.