Afterthoughts on the 3/5/06 article on "Patience"

by jojochan 27 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  jojochan

  It depressed me...

  While reading this article I could'nt help BUT to feel my self worth plummet. It made me realize one thing about their organization. What your place is among them. As a slave; a slave to their dogma in thinking that the only reason that things are the way that they are IS in fact so that all can convert into witnesses since he does'nt want all to be destroyed.And to prove to the debil his prowess.

  Somehow that answer does'nt quite satisfy me right now, at least not like it used to.

  Even when I was still going I thought that their reasoning was suspect in the sense that their truth changes every so often.We all noticed how they would "slip" it by the collective every once and a while. We have evedince of this.(blood issue, men of sodom,disfellowshipping, smurfs, ect) But this article, this article was them in it's rarest form. Which bothered me. And with others like my family that would try to pour upon me words of encouragement did'nt mention to me anything about this article. I guess it depressed them as well, but alas the sun is still in their eyes but deep down they know and somehow hate realizing that they are nothing more than a slave to the society, an ant in their god's antfarm, which was and still from time to time how I feel as well. And reading that poison; that pure example of curcular reasoning almost drove me to the point of self hate and mutilation. To feel less than zero, to feel like you have NO identity in the society's eyes,makes you feel small, minute....a cog in a big monstrosity that seperates, confuses and depresses those that are in the dark. That are sighing and groaning over how f'ed up the world is. But it's ok...just run to that hall, run to those doors on that beautful saturday morning to wake people up to hear the dogma, run to those meetings where you will hear the same thing everyday but worded differently. Sit there and try to swallow down the explaination of "patience".

  I could'nt swallow...I had to spit.

  I'm done, hand me the pen and paper.

  jojochan.
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  anewme

  Jojochan, I felt the very same way! It was pure torture to entertain the same old propaganda again! It worked on me before for years, but now no more. After being dfd and thrown out, one's innocence and trust is gone in an organization that says to keep sacrificing, keep hoping, keep quiet, be patient, and "maybe" God will look with favor on you and spare you when he destroys the world.
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  jojochan

  keep sacrificing, keep hoping, keep quiet, be patient, and "maybe" God will look with favor on you and spare you when he destroys the world.

  Take...and take....and take.....ect. If you a good slave, they give...a little at a time.IF at all.Which they don't.

  jojochan
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  luna2

  The self-worth thing was why I finally, finally just gave up going to meetings. I would feel like such garbage afterwards and just couldn't take it any more. I'd reached critical mass and felt like I'd go crazy if I didn't take some time off. Of course, I still believed the lie, so this was strictly an emotional response to all of the mental abuse the WTS "lovingly" heaps upon its people. You know the truth about the org, so I'm sure its even more difficult to sit there and listen to their stupid BS.
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  jojochan

  I still believed the lie, so this was strictly an emotional response to all of the mental abuse the WTS "lovingly" heaps upon its people. You know the truth about the org, so I'm sure its even more difficult to sit there and listen to their stupid BS.

  Yes, it was like taking a beatin' from somone that "loves you", "this'll hurt me more than you" sort of thing.

  what's more difficult is having family that really believes this dogma and accept it. You know that the sky is blue and that the earth is round and the water is wet, but they do not. And it's so obvious to you and everyone else outside the box. They will wait....and wait.....

  jojochan.
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  tijkmo

  expectation postponed...is making the heart sick
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  anewme

  Jojochan, I actually tried to return to the meetings after I was dfd. Last year I thought I would try for reinstatement.
  
  
  Do you know what happened?
  
  
  My bulimia returned!!!! Yuck.
  
  
  I have told a few people here my awful secret. Right before I was dfd I was having an awful time with bulimia. I was out of control!!! Im sure I needed therapy of some kind...at least someone to talk to.
  
  
  After I was dfd the bulimia went away.
  
  
  After I began to attend the KH in an effort to get reinstated so I could see my nieces the symptoms returned.
  
  I believe that my mind and body were rejecting the many mind controlling ideas that are presented there, the chains of slavery that are constantly draped around your mind and heart while you sit innocently at the KH thinking they are setting you free!
  
  
  I have read a bit on bullimia and it is directly linked to feelings of loss of control and panic.
  
  
  Once again after giving up the meetings I am back to my happy self with no panic attacks or urges to binge and purge.
  
  
  I thought I'd share this painful secret because the effect of the mind control at the KH is very powerful to those who are vulnerable as I guess I have been throughout my life.
  
  But being out for awhile now and experiencing adult freedom and finding the JWD has changed my "listening" and I cannot stand efforts to manipulate me to think in black and white, God v.s. Satan, good and bad, them v.s. us, do this to get life, do that and you will die, the end is near anymore.
  
  
  And I agree, reading Blondie's column sometimes sounds my cult alarms now.
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  jojochan

  (((anewme)))

  That tells you something does'nt it? Deep down I knew what the problem was. But buried it deep down inside myself, and was making myself sick to my belly. They warn us of"spiritual drowsyness" that's what they call it. To cure this ailment they perscribe a healthy dose of feild service, full meeting attendance, ect. It would work only on those that still can swallow it done and accept it. Those that can't turn to things to suppress their doubts.

  I know....because I tried to suppress them as well, but it did'nt work.

  So now the painful part is to dissapear altogether. I can no longer sit on their fence.

  That will hurt, but I will survive.

  jojochan.
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  truthseeker

  JoJochan,

  Your comment is exactly what I identify with, and I'm still in.

  It's a very powerful study for those who still believe, the idea that we should be THANKFUL for God's patience as he sits upon his throne and counts people who repent.

  Never mind those being born.

  Never mind the population increase.

  We should be thankful.

  Are we not grateful? questions the wicked WT likes to use, to explain away the enormously long delay of the ever nearer and urgent big A.

  Articles like these depressed me more, and yes, I did realize deep down, I was a SLAVE.

  They're wicked to do what they do - sometimes I wonder if Satan is writing this stuff, because any freak on the writing committee who could deliberately write such an article, knowing full well the history of the org, and it's disappointments, would have to be either high on drugs or else just pure evil.

  It's like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit and then pulling it away when the rabbit goes to bite.
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  M.J.

  I happily missed that article and that meeting, and don't have a strong desire to read it ...so if you get the chance could you describe the gist of what the the article was saying for us slackers?