I beg your pardon, but your breast is in my eye!!!

by Scully 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Scully
    Scully

    OK, so I'm at the dentist this afternoon - nothing major, just something I've been putting off for a while - and the dental assistant is doing her thing with my teeth - my mouth is wired open (I think I was able to tune into radio transmissions for a while) - and I've got my eyes closed, my glasses off, trying to relax in the chair, while listening to the piped in muzak.

    Suddenly, I can tell she's really getting into her work - she's leaning against my face and getting quite vigorous about whatever she's doing to my tooth. Then it dawned on me.... ummm... hello.... your breast is in my eye!!! Except my mouth is frozen and wired so that all that's coming out is unintelligible garble... and drool (from being wired open, not because it's the least bit "interesting").

    So I'm thinking to myself, if I push her away from my face, she looks the type that would clock me for sexually harassing her... if I say anything to her about it, she'll be embarrassed and might screw up my tooth... if I wait a couple more minutes, she'll be done and I might have an interesting story to share with Mr Scully... Finally, it occurs to me that they said I could give them a signal to stop what they are doing. I raise my left hand. She stops. She backs away. Thank goodness I have a cold that's lingering... I grabbed my Kleenex™ and coughed into it... and scratched my hand on the hardware that was keeping my mouth open (and drooling).

    When I let her get back to her work, she wasn't nearly as close as before. Sometimes having germs has its advantages.

    Just thought I'd share. Anyone else have any interesting stories from the dentist's office?

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Good thing Mr. Scully isn't on a judicial committee for you.

    "Did her breast touch your eye or brush the eye?"

    "Was it her left or right breast?"

    "Did you touch the breast?"

    "Did you have an orgasm when the breast made contact?"

    "Do you dream about the breast now that you're not in the chair?"

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I remember one particular thing at the dentist...

    When I was all done and my mouth was still frozen, I went to the receptionist to hand her some paperwork, and then leave. She needed to verify one thing with me:

    Her: I need to get your phone number.
    Me: Flef Flen mlah, fev et flee flee
    Her: (writing it down) Okay, thanks!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    So, was it a nice boob??? I like to get an eyefull of nice boobs once in a while.

    W

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    i never had that much fun at the dentist..

    life aint fair at all LOL

  • daystar
    daystar

    I love it. That and when I used to have hair to cut rather than shave it all off, and the lady would be pushing her breasts into my back or shoulder while cutting my hair.

    It's always the little things...

  • Scully
    Scully

    Billygoat:

    "Did her breast touch your eye or brush the eye?"

    Let's just say, if she'd had implants, I would have needed an ophthalmologist, not a dentist.

    "Was it her left or right breast?"
    I don't know, it was in my eye!!
    "Did you touch the breast?"
    No, it touched me!!
    "Did you have an orgasm when the breast made contact?"
    No, no, and HELL NO.
    "Do you dream about the breast now that you're not in the chair?"
    I haven't had a chance to sleep since then, but if I do dream about it, it will qualify as a nightmare. I promise.
  • jgnat
    jgnat

    What a great story! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Scully
    Scully
    So, was it a nice boob??? I like to get an eyefull of nice boobs once in a while.

    Unfortunately, in my line of work, the constant exposure to women's breasts has rendered them all pretty much uninteresting. I really couldn't tell if it was a nice one. It was about to poke my eye out though.

  • Krystal
    Krystal

    Is your dentist accepting new patients?

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit