My mother snapped at me today

by collegegirl21 16 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  unique1

  I feel your pain. Thankfully I got out by getting married early. My mom still doesn't get it. She never will. Sometimes she makes me want to bang my head in the wall. My dad, is understanding and although still mislead, tries to understand me.

  Is there anyway they would support you if you lived on campus? Get a bike, a small part time job and share a dorm room? You are 21 you can't have too much college left. If the previous won't work, try to stick it out until you graduate. You will regret it if you leave college now for a job. Just know you are not alone.
• 

  anewme

  May I put my .02 in? Think about it. Your parents are JW, but they are allowing you to stay in their home at 21 years of age and have your own room and go to college? Are they paying for your tuition as well?
  I think the smartest thing to do would be to keep your new found truth to yourself as much as possible right now. Continue with the education. Avoid a confrontation with your parents about the religion. Realize everyone has their right to believe what they want. You must keep focused on your goal----education and independence.
  
  If there was another way, go for it. But I have heard of JW kids keeping their cool and getting through this period but you have to be smarter than most and learn to play the espionage game by keeping silent about your true feelings. Show respect to your mom and dad. And realize they do love you.
  Mine threw me out into the cold night at 18 when I became a JW!!!! And that was it. No college. Homeless. Disinherited.
  
  If you are really smart, you will avoid the fateful confrontation Collegegirl until you are safe.
• 

  collegegirl21

  First off, thanks for your comments. I really appreicate everything!
  
  I forgot to add background information. I don't live at home, I have my own apt where I go to school. The only thing my parents help me with is letting me use their car. I pay for school and my rent/utilities. I have 3 jobs at school and I drive home for their meetings (Sunday, and TMS) twice a week. I am going to try to start saving up money to get my own car because I just can't take it anymore. I am pretty much financially on my own besides me using their car.
  
  I'm a very outspoken person, so when it comes to humbling myself with my mom it gets hard, and I am trying, but the more I go to meetings, participate in the TMS, hear how lucky I am to have Jehovah, and gett pressured to go out in service, the more it gets to me, thinking that the people at the meetings can read whats in my head, knowing that I am faking it and that they knew I was going to DA again. I just don't know how long I can keep it up.
• 

  stillAwitness

  Hey girl. You already know we're in the same boat. At least you are more well off financially more than me. I still live at home and at times I am so close to just wanting to leave right now and move in with my boyfriend. I know he could support us both till I figured it all out but that would not be wise of course.

  I used to argue and b*** at my mom too just to let out all my frustration when I could. But then I realized it just left me pissed off and even more frustrated then if I had just kept quiet. You can't have an educated debate with a DUB-wether there your mom or the sister you're working out in serivce. Its pointless-its like talkin to a brick wall.

  As we ALL grow older, we realise our parents aren't the entire universe or an authority on just about anything.

  SO true! I grew up in not only a religiously strict home but also culturally. Bad combination. Most of the girls in my parents hall (and boys) live at home till they get married even if that is well into their 30's.

  Focus on school. I would also try to save for a car also. Good for you for handling all your own bills. When we're finally both out we'll plan our own Apostafest trip togethor.
• 

  stillAwitness

  Even when I was putting on my act I would still catch hell.Could not seem to do anything right in my parents eyes.

  Amen to that! My mom is queen of comparing me to witness kids I have no connection to whatsoever. I used to joke about her awful parenting skills to my teachers when I was younger.
• 

  collegegirl21

  Yeah, I am done fighting with her. Its pointless to have the conversations because we are both left pissed off. I am thinking about joining the Air Force, think they will get the hint then?
• 

  ButtLight

  Thats the whole reason I moved in with my mom instead of my dad at age 18! My mom is df'd , and I didnt have to put up with that nonsence anymore. Hang in there!