Funny things that people told you

greendawn

Tell us of some funny things that other people told you either recently or in the distant past. I have the following quotes:

How someone described his father in law to me: "He has a little moustache like Charlie Chaplin and a big head like the Frankenstein monster." Needless to say he is not on good terms with him.

Another person about his girlfriend: "she is a shy little thing, she's deep of feeling but rather slow of mind" very complementary words for a girlfriend.

And another one about the English from an Italian: "you English are surely the most ruthless race on earth but I like your sense of humour, an englishman told me: "If you have problems as long as you can laugh at them then they are no problems." I really liked that."

SickofLies

I had an elder tell me that the NWT was the best translation in the world and he went around asking other bible scholars and they all agreed. He also claimed that anyone could verify this by doing research. I guess he didn't plan on anyone ever checking this little statement out to see if its true....

greendawn

An elder told me that all anointed JWs take part in providing "meat in due season for the other sheep" they contibute by constantly writing and sending letters to the GB in Brooklyn.

Then I found out that the last thing the GB wants is to hear anything at all from them on how to run the org and formulate its doctrines.

unclebruce

The first conversation I remember having with my mother involved her explaining to me that if I wasn't more careful I'd one day be tormented forever at the centre of the earth ... by the devil! alt

alt

unc who often thought of diging down for a peek

MidwichCuckoo

I remember many years ago a dub discussing how unnatural battery hens are - she actually believed the eggs were produced with the aid of batteries.

greendawn

When I was living in a block of flats this neighbour was giving me a lot of aggravation because of the dog I had got, he claimed that if his pregnant wife breathed in any hair from the dog that were being blown around by the wind she would have a miscarriage. So he wanted the dog out.

It took ages to convince this moron that it was cat hair that could cause problems to pregnant women and not dogs. And even if I had a cat I wouldn't invite his wife to come near.

wombat

I recall being told by someone close to me how wise I was for renting a unit and not buying a house.

That was about the mid '60s.

That same person now has millions of dollars worth of real estate.

lola28

"Lola why are the cute ones soooooo stupid?"

my 13 year old sister, why are cute ones so stupid?

lola

daystar

I knew a girl who used to think that odd numbered gas pumps only worked on every other day. Her boyfriend was such as ass.

I told my mom once that the road to hell was paved with good intentions. She corrected me with "the road to the grave is paved with good intentions", totally missing the point. Such a good JW...

"What are you doing with those potatos?" "Cutting them up to make french fries." ... ... ... *blank stare* "You mean they're made from potatos?!"

"Type filename, period, txt, then hit enter."
"It's not working. It says file not found." *repeat ad nauseum*
"Could you spell to me precisely what you are typing?"
"F-I-L-E-N-A-M-E, P-E-R-I-O-D..."
"Wait, you are actually typing out the word 'period'?"
"Well, yes."
"When I say period, I'm talking about the dot under the 'greater than sign' on your keyboard."
"Oh! You mean the 'end stop'?!"
... ... ...

lola28

LMAO

Funny things that people told you

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