I wrote this about 4-5 years ago as I was pulling myself out of the JW's. It's not GREAT but it has it's moments and it makes me smile. Enjoy :)
Once upon a time, many days and years ago
was a people that professed that the future they did know
and they proudly walked in strides and their eyes they kept high
and with confidence and surety they said that Christ was nigh
1874 they said. It came and went. Goodbye!
Well the wisdom of these people quickly found out their mistake
A small faux pas in numbers proved their judgement to be fake
and they proudly walked in strides and their eyes they kept high
and with confidence and surety they said that Christ was nigh
1884 they said (10 years later) but it came and went! Goodbye!
Well now some people were confused and others still were mad
and loud became the murmerings of those that had been had
And the leader of this charming group knew something he must tell
so in the year 1914 he smiled, the world will go to HELL!!!
It came and went, surprise again, and nothing happened then
"Well shit," said Russel in dismay, "can't a prophet get a break??"
"I don't ask for much," he sighed aloud, "just for a prophecy to take."
Now here an idea formed in his head and he knew just what to do
"I'll combine the other prophecies with this last one that I blew!"
"1914," he said, "what I REALLY meant, was that Christ came back to Earth"
The embarassment to Russel was as large as was his pride
so soon thereafter on a train he went and promptly died
and the people cried and the people wailed and the people picked again
and a newer (drunker) man stepped forward to wield the prophet pen
Rutherford was this fine man's name (though he WAS a little crazy)
he said "Prophets on a roll just can't afford to become lazy!"
And he took out the red prophet pen and said with an impish grin
"in 1925 the old prophets will return to clear our sins!"
1925 was it, it came and went, well fucking shit
Doctrine came and doctrine went and doctrine came again
Vaccines are evil! Wait they're not! Wait yes they are my friend!
Organ transplants!?!? Christ! My lord! To use anothers heart????
You'd be better off to do your shopping at the Human Mart!
(Cannibalism you see) Oh my!
Of course this all would seem bizarre to those who read it now
For to see the truth your faithful and discreet slave won't allow
But out again came the prophet pen and a newer tale was spun
For in 1975 (for sure) this wicked world is done!!
It came and went..yet again..that fucking pen!!!
Deny, deny, deny again, was the strategy employed
"We never said in 1975 the world would be destroyed!"
"YOU must have made this up,"they said, "WE never said we knew."
So why did so many people leave if what they said is true??
For now the prophet pen is dry, dates retired too
but the end is ever close my friend its wrath you'll come to rue!
I hope this poem has helped you see that God he never lies
and why the "Truth" is hardly that
And why my faith now dies.