Saw Elder at Lion's Club meal, and other thoughts/observations......

by WingCommander 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    Yep, you heard me correctly. In the Spring and Fall of every year at our community fire hall there are three meals held to support and help out the fire company, ambulance, and one for the Lion's Club. Now, every good JW knows not to support worldly organizations, right? Apparently grumbling stomachs over-rule organizational policy. My family has always attended all three, even when I was a little co-pilot back in the day. You have the option of eating in (all you can eat), or simply buying a "Take-out". Well, while my JW mother, myself, and my family were waiting to be seated, who do you think we saw standing in line for a "take-out?" Why, a JW Elder! Not just any elder, but a guy I've known my whole life. He saw us from across the fire hall, but didn't waive or say anything. I couldn't believe it! Why was I being ignored? I'm an unbaptized non-publisher who shows up 3 times a year for a meeting, which means I'm still in good standing.....no reason to be shy! So after a while of being snubbed, I simply walked across to greet him! Of course then he put on happy face and we chatted a bit, and I am actually the one whom brought up the Memorial, as to which night it was, etc. He didn't even invite me, I had to invite myself! Also, while speaking to him, he kind of looked past me, out towards the crowd. I found this quite rude and ackward. WTF? He really just looked like a tired old man, and even stated he wished he were retired, he had grandkids, etc. Also, a woman I didn't even know came up to me to thank my mother and I for a gift basket my mother had sent her elderly and ill mother. I was totally floored. She came over to my mother then and spoke some more. Here, I had to walk over to an Elder, a SHEPHARD of the flock to make small talk, but a "Worldly" woman came up to thank me for my mother's gift. The irony was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

    This brings me to my next issue, which has been bubbling to the surface of my psychy for the past few years. Now that I have my own son (now 2), what am I to do with him? Do I take him to the Memorial? Indoctrinate him into the JW belief system only, but not overburden him with the organizational BS? But that doesn't seem right. So far we have celebrated B-Days with him, that is it. Last year, I took my non-JW wife to the Memorial to only have her be confused and unimpressed. I was also unimpressed. The "Hall" was only half full, not overflowing with folding chairs in the back as it was when I was a child. As an adult, I have learned to step back and just watch people and events. What I saw at the last 3 meetings I was at was this: low meeting attendance (especially at Memorial), lack of emotion, depressed and tired looking faces, old faces, lack of people aged 19-35, mono-tone singing, and on and on. A total lack of joy. When I was a child, there was actual JOY in the Kingdom Hall I attended, and it showed. It was common to have get-togethers, congregational picnics, supper with friends, etc. In the mid-80's that all changed, and it seems that everything went downhill from there. Also, there was real SINGING, with a woman playing a piano at the front of the hall with actual feeling. Now it's just canned non-enthusiastic droning. Jesus said that you would know his disciplies by their love and works towards one another, and I see next to ZERO of that. Who takes care of the elderly? What do they give to the community besides magazines? I find it amazing that my worldy Lutheran in-laws have so many activities for their children at their church, picnics, camps, choir, even a community center but the JW's have absolutely nothing to help their congregations. You give the society and Bethel everything, and you get magazines to peddle in return and are supposed to keep track of your time and quit working to pioneer full-time? What BS!!

    This brings me to another thought I've had the last few years.....why the removal of literature from the mail? Why not post EVERY magazine and society publication right onto the WatchTower website for EVERYONE on the ENTIRE earth with a computer to be able to download immediately? Think of the cost savings, the speed at which the news would reach everyone? But then I thought about it......if they did that, they couldn't have every publisher out there peddling magazines and they'd have free time to actually think about how much time they've wasted doing nothing in life. They sure wouldn't want that!

    So these are some of my random experiences and thoughts recently. Maybe some of you can relate, and any help you think you might be able to give me would be appreciated. This year I've been thinking about attending a "worldly" Easter service, maybe with Seventh Day Adventists, or Lutherans perhaps. Just to see something different. I know the Memorial talk by heart now, and I never get invited anywhere anyway (not good enough), so why even bother with the JW's this year?

    Thanks for listening,

    Wing Commander

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Hi. I grew up in an extremely conservative cong and they did not prohibit supporting the Lion's Club. Supporting groups that were religious, military, etc. in nature was not allowed but others were a conscience matter. Granted, we were not allowed to spend our time volunteering with such orgs or to give monetary donations, but buying a meal from them was ok. Maybe that is how the Elder viewed it.

    If you want to expose your child to religion..........my feeling is there are plenty of groups other than JWs that are not destructive, so choose one of those.

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Does not suprise me in the least. I knew of an elder's wife in the sister congregation of the one I used to attend that regularly bought all her clothes at the Salvation Army..........even though she and hubby had plenty of money. Then there was the elder's wife in our congregation who had back problems and she and hubby got special "dispensation" to use the YMCA pool...........to save money. And, there was the elder who regularly went to a local restaurant on his birthday to get a free meal for birthday people............most felt it was a "conscience matter" when asked..........which I did.........actually the elder's wife got a bit nasty when I questioned her about the Salvation Army thing.........she told me to mind my own business.........bitch. LOL! Terri

  • daystar
    daystar
    This brings me to another thought I've had the last few years.....why the removal of literature from the mail? Why not post EVERY magazine and society publication right onto the WatchTower website for EVERYONE on the ENTIRE earth with a computer to be able to download immediately? Think of the cost savings, the speed at which the news would reach everyone? But then I thought about it......if they did that, they couldn't have every publisher out there peddling magazines and they'd have free time to actually think about how much time they've wasted doing nothing in life. They sure wouldn't want that!

    DING!! DING!! DING!!

    Bob?! What has our contestant won today?!

  • willyloman
    willyloman


    Wing: Your vision is 20-20. You have perfectly described what I call the Big Disconnect. Go with your instincts.

  • LDH
    LDH
    Last year, I took my non-JW wife to the Memorial to only have her be confused and unimpressed.

    'Nuff said.

  • anewme
    anewme

    Wing Commander, brilliant articulation of some of my very own thoughts! Thankyou!!!!
    Please keep talking. I like what you write! Its like so many of us have been under a spell from this group and have a hard time placing the blame where it deserves to be.

    Oh, By the way, I did attend some church events last year by invitation. Wonderful! They were full of effort and emotion and very accurate too! And they are fun and inclusive. Everyone is always invited to a big family type feast afterwards.

    Your memories of pre 80 happier times at the KH I agree with! What the heck happened? I remember the great singing and enthusiasm and the comments from the brothers at the Watchtower Study. Then in the 80s they started counseling the Watchtower Study conductor to keep the meetings on time and keep the comments shorter and include a scripture. I had an elder come up to me and counsel me "If you want me to call on you in the future, please keep your comments short and to the point"
    Well, I am not one to take offense and allow it to fester. But that did get to me. I just thought What???? Keep your dumb boring meetings! You make them interesting and exciting from now on buddy! I stopped commenting pretty much after that. Why should I anyway? I had already read the info at home and now we had read it altogether again. And now we are parroting the info a third time? This is insane! Especially is it maddening when someone hasnt been listening and for a 4th time says the same comment as the last commenter! Jeeeeeesh!

    I really dont recognize the meetings today. If I was a newbie attending for the first time I dont think I'd be jumpin to join. Sad sad sad.

    As it is I have the information they teach and can pray to Jehovah at home and pray for his kingdom to bring about relief. The only reason to attend the meetings and play the game is to save ones own neck.....maybe. And that "maybe" comes at a very high price. They cannot guarantee salvation. ( Remember they think so many anointed fell away and were replaced by new ones) Where does that leave us "other sheep"? Not feeling secure I'll tell you!

    Anyway, I am going on and on like we do about this group. Its teachings messed with our heads and it takes time to get straight again.

    Thanks again Wing Commander. Post again!!

    Anewme

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    I just checked a Lions Club site, not knowing much about them. There appears no church involvement, so I guess any support would be a "Personal Matter" - but I know a lot of dubs who would not touch it with a barge pole. I think a lot of fellow elders would tell him to set a better example.

    BTW. it said that the Lions have a long standing relationship with the United Nations and have an annual event at UN in N.Y.. So i guess he thought he could follow the example set by Brooklyn..

    Keep it down to 3 times a year ..

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    Last year, I took my non-JW wife to the Memorial to only have her be confused and unimpressed

    That was the same opinion I had when my JW friend invited me a few years ago.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    hi Wing Com

    Maybe the elder you saw is worn out. He may even be a lurker here.

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