where do I start..here goes!!

by blsrose 30 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blsrose
    blsrose

    Hello, my name is Bonnie, I will start by how I came "into the truth". my husband and i lived in dallas, tex in '72, of course we were not married at the time of our being contacted by a work friend of his, though they still befriended us and our families became close. Soon, we were married and quickly thereafter, we were invited to the kingdom hall. i was a little hesitant at first, and my husband was also invited to attend a church by another workmate of his, at the same time, so i wanted to check them both out before i could make that kind of decision, worshipping God had always been a serious matter for me, and i would not take it litely. well, we went to the church, and i was so upset to be treated like a star by this mans name, that i chose to try this kingdom hall out. Well, i fell in love with it immediately, the people welcomed us and we were made to feel welcome. we studied for almost 6 mos before we were baptised in april of '73, and i began aux. pioneering as soon as i was allowed!! We gave this expierience at the assemblies for several weeks a few years later!! well, i spent the next 13 years doing all i could for the elderly, and those who were in need of help, picking up those who had no way out in service, or the meetings, i was always happy to be there for them!! and everyone thought my husband was terrific, though at home i was strugglng to keep my boys from being beaten by him, numerous bruises by the belt lashings he gave them, crying about how sorry he was afterward, and proudly abusing the "spare the rod spoil the child" thing!! I carried a picture of my Aaron when he was 2, with a black-eye and fat lip froma beating this jerk gave my beautiful baby boy!! but, because we had to stay together, i could do nothing!!

    For years i dealt with this to the point of my haveing anxiety attacts everytime he was near me!! so, i finally made the decision to leave!! he brought the elders in and they had the nerve to tell me that what a man does in his home is his business!!! OH MY Gosh!! that was all i could take, i waited for my oldest son to graduate from high school, and moved out!!

    for 6 mos after i left this jerk, he kept coming around bringing me things--perfume, flowers(he never did this ever before!!) and i could not take it anymore, so i told him that I hated everything about him and i never wanted him around me or my boys again!! well, do you know, it wasn't a month after that, that he and a woman who I had concidered my friend, wife of a well respected elder, was disfellowshipped and they were married not 2 months later!! he was seeing her while he was trying to get me back!!

    Well, I tried to attend a local hall, but something wasn't right for me anymore, i just stopped going. Was out for about 10 years, had remarried another loser, but was given the gift of my terriffic Josh!! that marriage didn't last, and it was just us two for a long time!! We ended up living in a small town just south of Daytona Beach, we were very lonely and i was depressed a lot, so i contacted the cong. there, as i had had a lot of good memories in the early years of being a witness and thought that this would give Josh a chance to belong to something!!

    This is where it gets good!! we both jumped head first back into the meetings, service(everyday!!) an elder began studying with him and he was baptised after a year. I had gotten a good job, had no problems, had to ask no one for help, then the job ended... a bro. and sis. offered me a position helping them with her alzheimer mother, promising me everything!! They really messed me up, wouldn't give me time off for service, didn't pay me what they had promised, i became very behind on my bills, then one day out of the blue, they said they had found someone else and wouldn't need me anymore!!

    my car got repo'd, i lost my appartment, had to move in with a "worldly" friend, and was always haveing to ask for rides, couldn't get a job, no money, some of the friends helped us as much as they could, and believe me i was so thankful, and i always told them, and showed them how much!! BUT, not according to the almighty bro.(my kids are missionaries..and i write articles for the mags)blanchard!!

    One sunday, i was called into the library by 2 of the brothers(not 3) and I now know how it feels to be railroaded, they told me that i was the most unthankful person they had ever met, they had it by word of mouth that i had never once said thank you for any of the help i had been given!! I was using people and i was required to write personal thank-yous to everyone who had helped me!!

    i had no words for anything he said, i was devastated!! we had not missed a meeting in 2 years!! we associated with elders families, i drove 10 miles for every meeting to pick up a sister who no one else wanted to deal with.. i didn't know what was happening, and it wasn't til we moved to pensacola and i was praying to jehovah that i realised what it was!! He was getting us out of there, and we have been blessed since then, no weight, no dark clouds!! it will always have a bearing on both me and my son, but we are better people for this happening!!

    WOW!! That feels great to tell and know you all know understand!! thanks for this site!!

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Hi Bonnie -

    Welcome to JWD!!

    It's a great place to be. We're glad you found us...!

    -AudeSapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding)

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    Welcome blsrose! And thanx so much for taking the time to share your story with us. How did Josh cope with the treatment from the congregation after that incident? Is he still an active witness?

    Keep posting!

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi Bonnie,

    Welcome to the forum! The lack of love is what causes many people to realize that all is not well in the WT world.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Oh Rose you poor princess! What snakes you choose for husbands! The 'friend' who married your first walked right into a bad time didn't she? Wonder how long it took her to work it out, or maybe her elder husband was a woman beater too.

    Anyway, most importantly, are you okay? Can't tell how long ago you escaped. It's got to be bad for you at times, I hope you can keep it together.

  • James Free
    James Free

    The love is really lacking amongst the leaders, although as you have experienced, some brothers and sisters can be generous. But the harsh, and unscriptural, comments from the elders that you experienced each time are commonplace.

    Many Witnesses know there is a lack of love inside the Org. They try to explain the contradiction between their experiences and the bible and the ideal printed inside the WT by convincing themselves it must be a local issue. Their congregation lacks love but it must be OK in the rest of the Org. Some even swap congregations on a regular basis for this reason.

    What they can't bring themselves to admit is THE ORG ITSELF IS LACKING IN LOVE and their experiences are not unique, nor local, but the norm.

    Why can't people accept the reality? Because if there is a lack of love then it's not the Truth. according to Jesus himself!

    And that's why sites like this are important - to show that one's experiences are not unique, that there really is a lack of love within the Org., and that it IS NOT GOD'S ORGANIZATION!

  • luna2
    luna2

    In the Witness world they do not want folks who need help. Doesn't matter that you've helped others in the past (or even currently), if you become any sort of burden on the congregation, they don't want you any more. Individuals can be kind but, since they have no organized help on a congregational level, it can often be difficult to keep it up...especially with all that the Watchtower Society expects of its members. They can call themselves loving but words don't make it so.

    Welcome to JWD, Bonnie.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Welcome, Bonnie. I, too, am interested in hearing the rest of your story.

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    Welcome Bonnie. You sound like you've had lots of experiences with the JW's. Thank you for sharing your story so far.

    Dams

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    Welcome to the board Rose!

    Happy to see you made your way here. The policies of the jw's for abuse are horrible. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

    Hope that you have found some peace and I hope that you find this place to be of help for you.

    meagan

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