Hindsight is 20/20: What were your signs?

divejunkie

What I mean is now that you are out of the WT; do you ever think back at something you innocently said or did when you still believed or you were little that now feels like a sign that you would someday get out of the bullsh*t?

For me, growing up in the JW's, I feel there were signs of my "goat hairs" even way back then. For example:

** Even as a child, every Saturday morning I would spend at least 10 or 15 minutes trying to figure out what to say to get out of going to field service

**My dad the elder had a family part during a convention when I was around 5. It was about how to conduct a family study. We rehearsed that thing ad-naseum. All I had to say was "Jeremiah" when the proper question came. The big day comes and when asked I said: "I don't know". My dad asked the same question with different prompts a few more times, always with same answer: "I don't know". At the end I said: "I told you I don't know, can I go home now?"

How about you?

sass_my_frass

Never being able to talk about what witnesses believe to non-witnesses, even out on the preach! I pioneered constantly wondering if I was wasting people's time. And thinking about paradise was just absurd.

penny2

At 15 - bucking the trend and deciding to go back to school for another year. That was not thought of very highly in the congregation.

unclebruce

I guess I had plenty of 'goat hairs' divejunkie,

Our Sunday meeting™ was at 3pm and a few times I never made it home in time from playing with mates 'down the river'. Adelaides river torrens is more a creek really but I spent a lot of my childhood there in and arround abandoned factories and living off wild fruit and farmers orchards.

The first time I missed a meeting, I was arround eleven years old and stuck up a big pine tree fending off a couple of bullies by throwing pine cones at 'em - I thought they'd never go (we'd cut off the lower branches and had a special rope so only we could climb it.

unclebruce

damselfly

There were lots!

I used to fake sick to get out of talks. I get migraines so it was useful to use generic headaches to get of meetings ( "in case it gets worse" ) I could never tell my classmates what JW's believed, it sounded absurd coming out of my mouth like we were all a bunch of nuts.

Dams

Lilycurly

Things that might have been noticed- Went to college, never pionnered (what a waste of time!), worked on an assembly Friday, didn't hang out with JW kids, was forced to comment and prepare study, would fake sick.

Signs to myself- would falsify my hours and placements. Would try to go out mostly with old ladies or children so would be in charge of doors (and only pick the ones that seemed to be not at homes...lol) being depressed every meeting day and on Friday nights thinking of Saturday morning..., trying to find stuff in the Bible that clashed with what I was thought while sitting at the meetings and underlining them (good preparation for being an apostate);P, not feeling spiritual at ALL!.........After that, I realised that I wasn't at the right place.

unclebruce

Signs to myself- would falsify my hours and placements. Would try to go out mostly with old ladies or children so would be in charge of doors (and only pick the ones that seemed to be not at homes...lol) being depressed every meeting day and on Friday nights thinking of Saturday morning..., trying to find stuff in the Bible that clashed with what I was thought while sitting at the meetings and underlining them (good preparation for being an apostate);P, not feeling spiritual at ALL!.........After that, I realised that I wasn't at the right place.

wow what she said!

unc who "wasn't at the right place"

james_woods

At the age of 11 or 12 years, when the JWs were "study-ing" with my parents, I got told I could no longer watch the classic B&W TV drama "Combat". It was "worldly" and it "celebrated war".

O-Well - I still had Perry Mason, WhirlyBirds, SeaHunt, and Route66.

Among others,

James

Jourles

Let's see....only once(one month) I acquired enough hours to make aux pioneer status, but I didn't apply for it. Normally, I got the bare minimum to keep the elders and parents off of my back.

Would rather be working on my hobbies than going out in service or to the meetings.

Always knew something was wrong with the org, but could never put my finger on it. Just got by with the information I had.

I thought if that many people picketing the assemblies with placards about 1975 were doing this on their own time, there must be something about that date which was important. Not one person in my congregations ever spoke about it though.

I knew if my mother wouldn't let me watch fireworks from a July 4th event, something has got to be wrong with this picture. True story --- My folks and I were driving near my high school one July 4th evening. As we were driving along, the fireworks were starting to go off right above us. I was looking out my window watching and my mother told me not to look because it was patriotic to do so - and we didn't want to be patriotic did we? Looking back, that was ridiculously extreme. When your parents try to shelter you THAT much, look what happens. DF'd today for questioning everything(apostacy).

luna2

Somewhere inside I wonder if I didn't know it was a pile of garbage from the beginning because I never wanted to go out in "service", I hated attending meetings, and I didn't like to study (after the initial euphoria of discovering all the new stuff about what JWs believed and buying into the fairy tale). Every month, after I'd turn in my pathetic time slip, I'd tell myself that I would do better the next month...didn't happen. I don't know if I ever went more than even two months without missing at least one meeting even in the beginning...later on, it got so that I'd probably miss at least one meeting every week.

I beat myself up about it pretty good, but I couldn't seem to change my ways. Finally, after struggling for nearly 20 years with my inability to get with the program and no longer being able to stand feeling like the dregs of humanity for not being a better dub, I stopped trying.

Hindsight is 20/20: What were your signs?

Share this