Name all the reasons why you should be "Disfellowshipped" or "Counselled"

by JH 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  JH

  JH you have to touch yourself.........How else would you take a shower?

  No, I use these touchless showers, like for car washes.
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  ButtLight

  Well, you know jh, we have been told that touching yourself is wrong cause we may tend to think unpure thoughts when in the act. SO, what are your unpure thoughts?? OH, nevermind, I dont want to know lol!
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  lucifer

  -drinking excessively

  -celebrating holidays

  -smoking cigars(when I drink excessively lol)

  -hanging out with boys alone *gasp*

  -being on this board

  -making plans for college

  -swearing

  -going to different churches....
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  GentlyFeral

  From the WTS Publication Index (not all inclusive, consider the Elders Manual and the unwritten rules/laws)

  1. absolute endangerment of mate's spirituality: w88 11/1 22-3 - Um, does becoming a hoodoo lady and lighting candles on for him count?
  2. apostasy: w89 10/1 19; w86 3/15 15; w86 4/1 30-1; w86 10/15 3 - Hell yes! With pleasure!
  3. blood transfusion donation: jv 183-4
  4. fornication: it-1 863 - Is it still fornication if you get your mate's permission first?
  5. gluttony: w04 11/1 30-1 - Was guilty of this for many years while still in! But I'm finally getting bored with it.
  6. polygamy: jv 176 - see #4
  7. promoting sects: it-2 886 - As often as possible, thanks!
  8. reviling: w96 7/15 17-18; it-1 991; it-2 802 - Mostly the jaydub leadership and public figures who can damn well afford it.
  9. employment violating Christian principles: km 9/76 6 - Not my day job. Just the side business.
  10. homosexuality: w83 6/1 24-6 - Another "hell yes!"
  11. parents condoning immorality well-thought-out sexual adventures: w56 566
  12. refusal to cease fellowship with disfellowshipped: w81 9/15 25-6
  13. subversive activity: w95 10/1 31 - As a spiritual discipline, yes.
  14. use of tobacco: w95 5/15 23 - only at the altar.

  You know, I used to go out of my way to "earn myself another disfellowshipping" whenever I felt spiritually stale. But I can see that it's taking care of itself now.

  No wonder I'm so happy. (Wow! 14 disfellowshippings without even trying!)

  gently feral
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  Dune

  PRON (i'm at work and dont want to be flagged)

  Viewing apostate sites.

  Playing violent video games/ computer games.

  Pretending i'm sick so i dont have to go to meetings.

  I havent prepared anything in several years.

  Apathy

  Lusting after females.
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  simplesally

  Celebrating holidays

  Hanging out with apostates

  Having good friends who are not JW

  Going to church