So many feelings - I'm waiting to exhale

by Lady Lee 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    As a JW I was in a cong where there was a deaf group. When the interpreters moved away they asked the cong if there was anyone who wanted to learn. I could not contain myself I wanted this. My first year living with my mother we went on the bus to a convention in New York City. Many of the deaf group were on the bus and I was fascinated. Such magic of expression and hands. I volunteered. This was like a gift being handed to me.

    So one of the deaf sisters took me on and taught me sign language. I learned how to interpret and it was the one thing as a JW I was mpost proud of. In those early years the interpreters used Signed English - a word for word interpretation of what is being said on the platform. It is like ... well listen ing to a boring speaker.

    Most people who use sign language use American Sign Language (ASL). ASL is a language itself. It has its own syntax. Tone of voice is expressed through body language and facial expression. It is a manual, facial and physical form of expression.

    Mouthy/Grace remembers me signing. I was good at it. Probably because I loved it so much. But I also had a great teacher. We spent hours and days together communicating. In the beginning we did a lot of writing. But I learned fast. By the end of the day my head was swimming because I was concentrating so hard on learning this new and wonderful language. At nights my hands would be spelling and signing in my sleep. I was totally hooked to sign language.

    I got a couple of bonuses from all this. My second child was about 6 months old when I started learning. So she learned right along with me. Before she was 1 yr old she could sign to me and had a vocabulary of over 50 words. This is phenomenal. Most children don't begin to talk until much later. But children who learn sign language from very early are way ahead of children who don't. Little kids understand much more than they can communicate. And children develop manual dexterity long before they begin to learn how to control their tongues to talk. So my second child had two languages from the beginning - English and ASL.

    Another bonus for me was that it helped raise my self-esteem. After years of abuse as a child and then in an unhappy marriage sign language gave me something that nothing else had ever done - I began to think I was good at something. And I was good. The elders usually chose me to do the main talks or any important talk. People would often come up to me and thank me. hearing people told me they would sit in places where they could watch me. (personally I now think they were probably bored with the same old talks and I provided the entertainment). Along with my self-esteem I learned to look at people in the eye. As an abuse survivor I never looked people in the eye. I was so uncomfortable. I thought they could see all the bad in me and that I deserved the abuse - I was damaged goods. The signing helped me realize I wasn't all bad. (this was before I got any therapy mind you)

    But one other very important bonus for me was a friendship that I treasured. The sister was my friend. She was homey and comforting. Through her eyes I learned I was OK as a person. Out of all the people I missed after I left the WTS she was the one I missed the most. And over the years I tried to find out where she lived but there never was a listing.

    Now the purpose of all of this....

    A few months ago I tried finding her again. I had no idea if she was still a JW. Or even if she still lived in the same house. But as I searched for her and her husband I found nothing. So I decided to try a search on her children. And BINGO I found her daughter (P).

    Now finding her daughter(P) was interesting. When my youngest child (the one who knew signing from early) was around 8 (I think) the school for children with disabilities was trying an experiment. They wanted to bring able bodied children into the school and pair them up with the physically challenged and hearing impaired children. My daughter was the right age and wanted to go so I sent her for the year. She already knew many signs and could "talk" with her friend (P) (the daughter I found on the net.)

    I had taken care of P when her mother went into the hospital to have her second child. P was often in our home or my kids were in theirs. (BTW Both my girls learned to sign) I remembered her well.

    So there I was with some info about her life and work. And very tentatively emailed her. I told her I would understand if she did not want to contact me. It took a while (seems she is very busy) but at the beginning of Mar I got a response from her. And she isn't a JW anymore. Her mother still has contact with her so she isn't bing shunned. So I answered her email and let her know a bit more and told her how much I missed her mom.

    Well I just logged on and P has responded. Her mom would love to hear from me. Oh lordy I'm getting weepy again.

    So I emailed her mom directly and now I'm holding my breath. I don't know if she is still a JW (her husband was an elder in the deaf group and a wonderful kind and loving man)

    My email is sent and I'm on hold.

  • just2sheep
    just2sheep

    lady lee,

    what a wonderful story...i hope you are reunited with your friend. at least the daughter was kind enough to answer your origional e-mail...hooray for that.

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    wow LadyLee you must be feeling so overwhelmed. I really do hope that you can reunite with your friend. She was obviously an intergral part of your personal growth. Please keep us posted on the outcome.

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    That's wonderful!!! I hope you soon receive a very nice e-mail!

    I went to school with a guy that had 2 deaf parents. I learned to sign somewhat...learned the alphabet, etc. It was fun! We'd send each other messages during class...

    Swalker

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    You need to pat yourself on the back! The more I get to know you, the more amazing you get.I pray all goes well with your friend!

    shelley

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thanks everyone I'm trying really hard not to get too excited. They most likely had a meeting tonight - if they are still JWs.

    Her daughter knows I have never got back to the WTS. I haven't asked about the status of her mom.

    Even if she is still a JW and chooses not to answer the email she will at least know how much her friendship mattered to me. That alone is worth the attempt to contact her.

    BTW: I have had a few jobs where I was interpreting, and a few places where signing came in very handy when a deaf person came to the place of work. I still practice it even though I'm rusty at it.

    I also know some of the rumors that went around after I left. Some incredibly insane things went around (like I didn't give them enough true things to gossip about!!!)

  • LDH
    LDH

    Lady Lee you may wish to send a message to a poster that goes by the name of Xanax. Direct him to this thread.

    Good Luck.

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Wow!! LL - this brings back a few memories for me, too...

    I hope you get back in contact with your friend.

    My older sister... she learned the Sign Language when I was still a teen. She took to it - like a duck to water.

    She still signs for the assemblies and at the KHs, I suppose... I don't really know.

    You two may have crossed paths in the years you were signing.

    I think she also signs at the local community college for deaf folks getting an education. (I think that's cool.)

    I just remember that I also learned a bit of Sign Language those many years ago... and although I've all but forgotten most of it... I had fun.

    Regards,

    Jim_TX

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Lady Lee,
    That was one of the most heartwarming experiences I've ever read here. Thanks for sharing it with us.
    Fats

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    LDH Will do

    Jim I never did any interpreting in the US so unless she came to Canada I doubt we ever ran across each other.

    I too got some work interpreting at college for student. The worst course was a physics course - waaaaay over my head. The most interesting course was on Cobol or Fortran - I forget which one. But I do remember the students standing around a spreadsheet looking for the bug in the program. The spreadsheet was huge and folded out like a map. Now this tickled me to no end. They were all looking through it so I stood and looked through it too. Out loud I asked what this was pointing to some oddity that I saw. Believe me it was all odd to me but this was just a bit more off than the rest. What do you know! My finger was on the bug they were looking for. I got invited to the end of the course dinner the class had for my find.

    Thanks fats Not everything JW was bad.

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