My soon to be three year old son asked me yesterday if I was dying. I was shocked that he knew the word 'dying' and asked where he heard it. He proceeded to tell me that his Aunt (a jw) read him a story about Jesus Twiste (Christ) and Jesus was dying. I questioned him further about Jesus and dying and realized that my ex-SIL is reading to him from My Book of Bible Stories. There's not a lot I can do to stop him from being exposed to this stuff when he's visiting his dad's family -- at the same time I want him to understand that what he is told is not the truth and is merely an opinion or interpretation. This probably sounds a bit much for a three year old but he's a very smart little guy. I'm worried because this side of his family are fanatical jws -- they would probably (and maybe are) tell him that I'm wrong and will die at armaggedon. Any suggestions on how to deal with this without making my son feel uncomfortable? my ex husband isn't a jw but grew up going to the kh, etc and has no backbone when it comes to his family and this issue.
help! family mbr reading my 3 yr old My Book of Bible Stories
by limbogirl 37 Replies latest jw friends
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Celia
He is your son, talk to your SIL and tell her you forbid her to ever read that creepy book to your little guy. Or to tell him anything related to the JW religion. Gosh, he's only 3 ! Why put these depressing ideas in his little mind? Death, destruction and vengence by an angry God... I understand it's not easy to control what's going on when he's visiting his dad's family. If he was my kid, I would not let him go there unsupervised anymore until they can promise not to do it again.
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whyizit
Perhaps you could look over the book and find where it is in "error" and point that out to your son and show him why it is not true.
If this family member insists on teaching him that you are going to die at armageddon, etc.... you could ask him if he thinks that is a nice thing to tell some one about their Mommy?
Do you think God would approve of "so-and-so" telling that to a little boy about his Mommy? Did Jesus ever say things like that to children about their Mommies? Where is that in the Bible? Show him that it is not in the Bible and show him that God repeatedly tells us to be kind and to love one another. That is not a very kind and loving thing to say about someone's Mommy, now is it?
You are definitely going to have to show him a better way than what they have. He will want the one that has peace and joy, and security. He'll see that for what it is, as long as you stay on top of things.
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Honesty
Don't let her be with him alone.
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limbogirl
thanks for the advice....unfortunately, my ex-husb and I share custody of our son 50/50 so I don't really have a lot of say-so about what goes on when he's with his dad. I emailed his dad today and told him I didn't want our son exposed to this crap but got no response. I am raising my son in a completely non-jw atmosphere. my parents are also very active jw's -- step-dad's an elder -- but i've made it clear to them that my son is not to visit the kh or look at their literature and they respect that. the other side of the family is different -- completely rabid about their beliefs. after fading from the jw's I find that I don't have any spiritual inclination and really no interest. I've never mentioned jesus to my son or god for that matter -- he brings this up to me. I try to tread lightly and not make too much of it but now I'm thinking that perhaps I should counter with a different belief system about god and christ. however, I have no idea what that would be....jw is the only religion I ever knew! argh. I knew this was going to be an issue but didn't think it would happen so soon!!
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jgnat
He's three years old. Three year-old's don't reason. They believe everything that mommy and daddy tell them. And, obviously, Auntie. Every time he expresses these worries, give him a big hug and tell him you will never die and you will always be there for him forever and ever and ever. That's not a lie. To a three year old, one year is forever and ever and ever.
Next, try and set up a reasonable dialogue with daddy. I know, I know, easier said than done with a JW. Theocratic warfare and all that. But give it a try, it will save you years of heartache. Besides, you don't want to set up your little boy as the spy and go-between. Don't quiz your boy on what's going on, confront daddy.
Finally, when your son reaches the age of reason teach him to reason things out for himself. This will be at about age six or so. You'll know because he'll start negotiating better terms for bedtime.
I'm convinced that the best inoculation against the cults is to teach our children to reason things out for themselves. No longer will they believe anything they read or hear on television. Here's some (dorky) resources geared for children.
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jgnat
OH! And a balance to the JW fear-mongering, try some videos from:
Guaranteed non-scary, with lots of good Christian concepts on how to treat each other. Maybe that way your boy won't be left in a vaccum as far as belief goes, and you show an alternative happy version.
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carla
Never leave your little guy alone with this woman. If you have to threaten her with a court order, do so. Aunts have no 'rights' anywhere that I know of. A good child psychologist should be able to back you up. Let your ex know that this could get long, ugly and costly if he can't find his balls.
Your childs emotional and spiritual well being is at stake.
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Seeking Knowledge
Hi Limbogirl
I'm in the same boat with you, only my son's father is a rabid (now) JW and doesn't follow any rules laid down. I agree 100% with Jgnat's suggestions. All we can do with our boys is teach them to think. Do you have a church you can go to? Anything to give him another view rather than the JW way? Kids aren't dumb, they want to make mom & dad happy, but hopefully we can teach them to understand WHY rather than accept it as the only way. My ex gets the glossy eye'd look when I bring up issues - any issues - with him. Best to keep both your feet on the ground & teach your son to reason things out.
Good luck--I'm there with you!
SK
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wanda
The best way to counter the My Book Of Bible Stories is with the Our Book Of Bible Stories, a collection of Bible stories that overturn the misteachings of the Watchtower Society.
In another string I'll post in a moment caledl OUR Book Of Bible Stories (Our not My) you will see posts for the book.
The Watchtower's book misprograms kids, the OUR book reprograms with the rest of the truth.
The Our Book Of Bible Stories is free so that it can help a lot of kids and adults who have been mistaught.
Now I'm going to make that post.