Blood Transfusions

by ian360 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  ian360

  Hey guys,

  I suspect this one might come under quite a lot of criticism so I might need to protect myself a little here. :)

  Okay, here is the situation:

  I'm a 32 year old guy who met a girl some time ago. We have been dating and have fallen in love with each other. I have always known that she believed in God and that her mother was a Jehovah's Witness. My girlfriend used to be a practising Jehovah's Witness although she hasn't been to the church for 11 years due to various other problems that she has had. On the other hand, I am an atheist and don't believe in God or the Bible. I have always respected that she believes in God and the Bible's teachings and she respects my beliefs also. However, I was surprised when she told me recently that she wouldn't accept a blood transfusion. I couldn't understand why and when she told me it was for religious reasons I was pretty shocked to say the least. This practice makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

  We are very close and who knows what the future will bring... I have contemplated marriage and family etc but she has told that she wouldn't accept a blood transfusion for her children either if they got sick or injured. This was something that I simply couldn't stand the thought of and if that happened, I wouldn't agree with this. Other than the Jehovah's Witness's interpretation of the Bible saying that that blood transfusions are unacceptable, are there any other real reasons for this? I know that other things can be done instead of having to accept blood, but I couldn't put one of my children's lives at further risk by refusing a blood transfusion if they were sick on the say-so of the Bible.

  Thank you in advance.

  Ian
• 

  Oroborus21

  howdy,

  I am sure you will get a lot of links to all the info that is out there from people if you haven't already checked out the topic.

  As to your specific question, while there is some evidence that points to non-religious reasons why one might refuse a blood transfusion, all of these reasons, benefits and percentages are far outweighed by the benefits and medical effect of receiving a transfusion.

  Secondly, the position (interpretation) that Jehovah's Witnesses have on blood has been sliding towards gradual acceptance of Blood and the ultimate discarding of the current ban on blood (doctrine). A few feel, and I am one of these, that it is a certainty that Jehovah's Witnesses will ultimately accept blood transfusions and discard the old doctrine. Exactly when this may occur, if at all, is a matter of debate, but I believe that it will happen over the next 15-20 years.

  Obviously, it sounds though that what you are dealing with is your girlfriend's personal convictions, and since she isn't an active Witness, it is hard to say whether whatever changes occur or have occurred within the Org would effect her own views.

  I would say that if the differences in worldview, your being an atheist and her being a believer to some extent, are not insurmountable in your relationship then you should not make the blood issue the major obstacle to your marrying her since it is likely to turn out to be inconsequential 1) once she actually has a child and has to face such a situation of choosing blood or possibly losing the child 2) that you may be able to reason with her and convince her over time or 3) that the Organizational changes may influence her view.

  If it is at all possible, and if she really really desires to marry you, perhaps she would be willing to sign a written agreement that sets forth that in an emergency or the development of a life threatening illness that blood transfusions and blood products will remain a medical option and if you choose upon the advice of a doctor to allow such that she will not attempt to prevent it. Have an attorney draw it up (get a prenup while you are at it) specify the child(ren) and get it signed dated and notarized and redo it every 3 years and every time you have an addition to your family.

  -Eduardo
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  looking_glass

  Ian - no worries with re to stating your concerns about the blood issue. You will find that most people on this site will agree with you. Some will probably trash the belief and/or custom. All I can say is that if it is a strong belief for your girl friend and you cannot respect it, then you should seriously consider whether she is right for you. You may want to keep in mind that people can say whatever they want until they get into the situation and then things change, especially when kids are involved.

  I am going to give you my perspective as some one who was raised a JW, left and is inactive but not hateful towards the religion. I have medical directives in place that state that unless it is my own blood I will not take blood. Why, because I have done to much research on my own to know how blood banks work. I also know that many surgeries can be performed as "bloodless" and it is often times sloppy docs and nurses that cause a patient to have to have blood. I have given blood at a blood bank on several occassions, but will I take blood, I cannot say honestly yes or no. I have some friends who agree with me and support me on this and others who have outright said, they better never call on me to decide if you need a blood transfusion or not because I will say do whatever you need to save her life. I respect my friends for their positions and in turn that is why I set legal messures in place to protect my position should the matter arise, my blood or no blood.

  Good luck on working this out.
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  greendawn

  There is no such thing in the Bible as a ban on blood transfusions that is simply the way one of the JW leaders back in the 1940's misinterpreted certain verses and came up with this deadly idea.
  
  Even the Jews from whose religion those verses came from do not ban transfusions because they believe that saving human lives is above any law. That idea is uniquely JW.
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  Gill

  Greendawn! - But only the 'bleeding' JWs have the 'truth'. What a sad and terrible relgion, or 'pretend religion' it really is!
• 

  Pistoff

  I would say that if the differences in worldview, your being an atheist and her being a believer to some extent, are not insurmountable in your relationship then you should not make the blood issue the major obstacle to your marrying her since it is likely to turn out to be inconsequential 1) once she actually has a child and has to face such a situation of choosing blood or possibly losing the child 2) that you may be able to reason with her and convince her over time or 3) that the Organizational changes may influence her view.

  That is some head in the sand advice.

  This assumes a degree of rationality that is unlikely to exist in the head of a witness, whether practicing or not.

  RUN the other way, IAN. When this woman settles down and has kids, she will "get serious" about the truth, and your life will be a living hell. You will be the devil and antichrist; your children will be the tug of war in the middle.

  That is the most likely scenario.

  ORO likes to blow smoke about the WT; check his posts.
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  kid-A

  she hasn't been to the church for 11 years due to various other problems that she has had

  Not enough background info, but if she hasnt been to a meeting in 11 years and is dating "wordly" guys, chances are she has left the borg for good. Having said that, be very careful and you need to have a very serious discussion with her about her "future" plans. There is a well known phenomenon of "born again JWs" who after years of inactivity, suddenly "return" to the cult with even greater fervour then before.

  You need to ask her: does she even intend on going back? Why does she still hold to the blood doctrine? If you ever had children (possibly the MOST important question) would she expect you to let the children die rather than accept a blood transfusion?

  >JWs are one of the few "legal" religions in the world that still actively practice "child sacrifice"......something to seriously ponder when you envision your future with this woman.