Greetings and welcome to the forum D&A!
Forgive me for stating the obvious, but your post tells me that you have not formulated a personal belief system to replace the old one. That is understandable for several reasons. One is that you were thrown out of the house at 18 and surviving was probably your top priortity for the last 8 years. Now that your priorities are begining to change, you are starting notice the lack I mentioned. The second reason you've probably not figured out just what to believe now is likely that your time as a child in the WTBTS probably turned you off to the idea of the study that will be required.
And that is what you need to do. It is time to start doing some research of your own into what to believe. That way you will be able to say what YOU believe, rather then what Jehovah's Witnesses believe. Take different teachings on the basics you learned as a child. Research them, read from several different perspectives, and read critically. By reading critically I mean not taking any particular writer's word for it just because they have a long list of titles after their name proclaiming their authority. Make each side PROVE it's case to you. Weigh the evidence for each side before reaching a final conclusion on the question.
It's alot of work, I know, I am in the process of doing that myself. But you have alot of more time than I do since I am in my fifties, so you have the time to do it right. If on some issues you find your former cult to be correct, don't be afraid to believe it. Teaching a bit or two of truth is the best way for a cult to recruit members and grow! The important thing is to do like the guy on CSI and "follow the evidence". That will lead you where you ought to go.
I look forward to seeing you around1
Forscher
