Attending the Funeral / Memorialof Your JW Parent

roybatty

I'm just wondering if any df'd or da'd here have gone to the Kingdom Hall to attend a memorial or funeral service for a JW parent or on the other hand decided not to attened. Do you regret going / not going? How were you treated?

My extremely active JW is getting up there in years and I'm just wondering what others have done when a JW parent has passed away. My siblings are all Jehovah'd out (elders, pioneers, etc.) so I'm sure they'll do something at the Hall (added to the fact that mom has been attending the same Hall for several decades).

Anyway, just trying to figure out what to expect and it's not like I can call her and talk about it.

Scully

Judging from the way they've treated me the last several years, and knowing that I would not be welcome to set foot in their home (I am not DFd or DAd by the way), I have no qualms about not attending a funeral or memorial service for them. Hell they didn't even have the decency to inform me until several days after the fact that my last living (non-JW) grandparent had passed away, and that was via a short, terse email.

To hell with them.

drew sagan

The big question is, how extreme are your folks? I know some families that could care less about "official" rules, and others that have put them above their own children. Same thing applies to people in the hall. Many would probably treat somebody like dirt, but there is allways a few little old ladies that are just sweet no matter what.

Jamelle

I am dreading exactly this type of situation - hopefully it won't happen any time soon. I feel sorry for my parents, I think they were suckered big time. I totally disagree with their choices, but I've gotten past the worst of my anger...I think.

Going to a funeral talk at the Kingdom Hall would be very, very hard for me. I've sworn never to step foot inside another hall again.

If my sister (inactive JW) decided that she was going to go, I would swallow my pride and my emotional instability where the JWs are concerned and just go with her to support her.

But I would also have an entire entourage of friends and family (my husbands) that went with us. Probably a group of 11 at the least, plus my sister and I. We would kind of "circle the wagons" so to speak. The JWs at my old hall would either 1) Behave themsevles in order no to give a bad witness to the non-JWs we bring with us or 2) Show their true colors and give an accurate witness tot he non-JWs we bring with us.

Either way the experience would be easier to endure.

Left on my own, I probably wouldn't go at all. Maybe visit the grave site later and pay my own personal respects.

Hope this helps inspire a couple of ideas anyway. It's a tough call no matter which way you look at it.

blondie

If you feel uncomfortable but want to remember them, why not have your own memorial service for them?

Blondie

Undecided

I went to the funeral of one of my first converts to JWism. I enjoyed meeting all the people I hadn't seen in years. The bro who gave the ceremony talk was someone I had known when I was a teen and haden't seen in 45 years. They all treated me well, I got a bunch of hugs. I don't know if they know my view on the TRUTH or not. I've never had a confrontation with any of them yet about the teachings of the Borg., although I did mention some things in an E-Mail to one of my cousins and he wouldn't e-mail anymore(he died a few months later).

I kind of enjoyed the experience, the ceremony wasn't so impersonal as the one's I used to do when I was in the borg. He read a paper that one of her grandkids had written and it was very good, some humorous lines in it too. It wasn't a recruiting lecture to get more JWs.

I also met one of the apostate JWD posters who is still a JW.

Ken P.

misanthropic

My mom is having alot of health problems lately and although she is not very old, all the women in her family have passed in their late 40's or 50's. I have thought about this as well knowing that it's a possibility I will have to face eventually. I didn't even attend my baby sisters wedding last month because I couldn't stand the idea of it being in a Kingdom Hall and being around all the witnesses. I am neither DA'd or DF'd but they all treat me as if I were the plague. But I am almost positive I would not attend a memorial there either, I like Blondies suggestion of having your own personal memorial.

BluesBrother

You have the right to be there. Go if you want . It is something that only happens once. I would view it as an act of respect and love for the parent, no matter what their religion was. But no one can think for you, you have to decide

HadEnuf

My mom is in her 80's and has shunned me now for quite a while...egged on by my older sister. I will not attend her funeral. I feel as if I don't have a mother anymore anyway. Too much stress for what? Sounds cold...but hey...what goes around comes around.

mumsy

Virgochik

My parents treat me well and have never shunned me, but they are now in their seventies. They recently informed me that they have signed a medical power of attorney to Elder Darkcoldeyes so he could handle any blood issues they could have. I live out of state. I guess I'd be lucky if Elder Darkcoldeyes phoned me in the event my parents passed early enough for me to get a flight and attend the Informercial. I assume he will be giving the talk too.

My parents are loving to me like I never faded, but I have no delusions Elder Darkcoldeyes and his family would be kind to me at the service. I agonize over what I'll do when the call comes.

Attending the Funeral / Memorialof Your JW Parent

Share this