The Matrix

The

Hi Everyone,

I'm sure some of you have thought about this before...

I've been thinking... you know the part in the matrix where neo is offered the red pill or the blue..

well you can see where im getting.. inside the org most of the brothers and sisters are oblivious to the

real truth..

If you had the chance not to know the real truth .. would u stay that way ? not knowing any different??

I think the reason im asking this is because i am feeling quite torn at the moment and its eating me inside !!

I have some really great friends in the " truth " and im afraid i will lose them .. it is a kind of security..

It's like the guy in the Matrix movie who wants to get back in so he makes a deal with the enemy..

he says " as long as i dont remember anything "... I wish at times that i never came to this site ... . but now that im learning

i know i cant really go back from here.. i cant forget what ive seen..

I feel that im going through different stages.. and i may need a psych help.. or something

I feel that im really cynical abut everyone and everything.. and abit bitter.. ( is this part of the process?? )

Please share some of your advice and experiences!

Thanks in advance !!

" The "

lisavegas420

Another movie that reminds me of being a JW is the Truman Show.

and this...

Wizard of Oz where the Wizard turns out to be a fraud and Dorothy and her friends discover everything they were looking for was inside of themselves. I think there is something inside all of us, and we've had it all along.

Welcome THE...

Relax, take your time and look around. We've been where you are.

lisa

freedomlover

EVERYTHING you are describing is part of this process.....

It gets pretty heavy at times. You are on the right path though. take your time, be sad if you to be sad. I too tried to forget what I was learning, seeing, and coming to understand. I wanted to forget it and go back to my comfortable bubble of JW land. You can only ignore things like that for so long. It will come creeping back with a vengance.

You will get through this, and life gets better and better. The truth is - you will lose people who you may have loved your whole life. That's the part that hurts the most. Try to start forming new friendships outside the org. and then the loss of some friends won't be as great when you have a new social circle to depend on.

hang in there! freedomlover

Mystery

Welcome The -

Take your time. Breathe. Cry. Scream. Open your eyes. Cry some more.

When you need to talk, to vent come and talk with people here. Go out and look at the world and indeed see that it is not such a bad place.

Welcome to the 'new light'.

Deborah

KW13

kinda reminds me of the book 1984 by George Owell and yes, The Matrix!

jwfacts

The, the Matrix is a brilliant analogy, I have the speech listed at http://jwfacts.com/index_files/pill.htm

You have started on an amazing trip, but it is hell for at least 12 months. Check out http://jwfacts.com/index_files/mindcontrol.htm as towards the end of the article it lists a number of the symptoms commonly experienced by people leaving high control groups. Talking to others on this site helps greatly as you will realise what you are experiencing is normal.

Would you like to be the kid that was never told Father Christmas isnt real, or go through life believing in the tooth fairy. I dont know how old you are, but can you imagine being alive in 50 years still thinking the end is going to come tomorrow, with kingdom halls half full?

Life is about learning and growing, working and families. At some stage you will know that you have missed out on that, and have to start again. The sooner you do it the better. I lost 10 years, from the age of 25 to 35 wallowing in fear of loosing friends and family. When I finally took the step it was one of the happiest moments of my life, like a huge weight was lifted from me. It was hard, but worth it. I dont want to be 80 and look back on my life thinking that i never had the guts to stand up for truth and find out who i really am.

What-A-Coincidence

same here ... I honestly don't know. But then the pressure was too much ... if they didn't require of you so much then I guess it would not have mattered for me. I just could not take it no mo.

The

Thanks for replying!

I never thought i would feel the way i did last night in bed...

I awoke in the middle of the night feeling high anxiety, fear and a whole mix of other feelings that i cant describe..

I was SCARED .. I jumped out of bed and started pacing up and down the house for 10 min

.. So many things going through my head..

I came to the conclusion that i really dont want to go out in the Field Service anymore..

It was strange because up until a few months ago I really enjoyed it! ..

( I'm in my twenties )

I feel abit better this morning, and not as empty as i felt last night.

I feel like I need to stay in the " Matrix " ( org ) for the time being though .. there are things i need to sort out.

Thank you all again!

( I read everything that's written to me and value the advice! )

freedomlover

I can totally relate to the real "nightmares." I experienced sleepless anxious nights also. I don't have them anymore.

You are totally handling things well. I couldn't make the break from the organization for awhile. It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. You'll know when/if you should leave.

Hang in there. freedomlover

KW13

The first part of solving a problem is realising its there. No one will judge you for staying in for whatever amount of time, but when your ready to jump and live life properly do it!

Someone mentioned how its hell for 12 months (although it can be a lot less or maybe for some more) this is true. Guilt and doubt are gonna plague you. Why? because the WBT Society drill it in your head! However after your free properly and can think outside of this box and realise that you can only see part of the picture that the Society show you and there is a whole painting going on once your free of them.

Would you rather make a decision knowing only 10% or would you prefer knowing at least 90% ???

Your life is there to live and learn from. I look forward to your future posts/topics here!

The Matrix

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