I WENT TO CHURCH THIS MORNING....

by Mary 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • gumby
    gumby

    can you imagine their faces if I had admitted "...uh no, I'm just an inactive Jehovah's Witness.."

    Actually Mary....you would have gotten some pats on the back from many. Religious people are flabbergasted when someone comes out of the witnesses or mormons and becomes a christian.

    They looooove to hear our stories! I at onetime was going to travel to various churches for "cult awarness" purposes. Churches love stories like ours and the members love hearing it. Most have no idea what the witnesses actually believe and preach.

    Gumby

  • Mary
    Mary
    Gumbers said: I at onetime was going to travel to various churches for "cult awarness" purposes. Churches love stories like ours and the members love hearing it. Most have no idea what the witnesses actually believe and preach.

    That's what Mouthy does..........I was talking to a local minister from the Anglican Church a few months ago.....he knows I'm an ex-Witness and said something to the effect that with their going door to door preaching, the Witnesses "...put the rest of us to shame..."

    I filled him in quite quickly on that subject. While there's nothing wrong with preaching door to door, I told him that it's actually a very ineffective method of recruiting people in this country. I also told him that the Witnesses are forced to count time and how much literature they place and that if you aren't out in Service every week in addition to the 5 meetings, then you're seen as "weak" and not treated very nicely. I filled him in on some other issues with the Borg and he was quite shocked. Naturally he had no idea that you could be ex-communicated for not believing that Jesus returned invisibly in 1914, or other weird doctrines..........he didn't think quite so much of the Witnesses by the time I was done. Maybe I shoulda counted it as time on a Service report and submitted it to the Hall.

  • Van Gogh
    Van Gogh

    LOLLLLLL!!!!!!!

    Hmmm.......nobody asked me if I were a Catholic..can you imagine their faces if I had admitted "...uh no, I'm just an inactive Jehovah's Witness.."

    Can you imagine the dub faces if you'd admit to having taken communion...

  • KW13
    KW13

    Well i dunno what options of it are there, but i am Church of England and that is a breath of fresh air.

  • gumby
    gumby

    I belong to the church of Gumby. Believes in a creator/god he doesn't know by name, believes in spiritual things, believes in morals and principals. It's like goin to church but ya ain't gotta give money, sit for two hours, dress up, ...and you can figure out all on your own how to be loving and helpful to your fellowman.There is no avenue to god either. ...he's right there at your fingertips.

    Gumbahalamidalabuddah the third.

  • Mary
    Mary

    And what exactly can the Church of Gumby offer me that the Kingdumb Hell couldn't?

  • anewme
    anewme

    Mary, that was very smart of you to go to another church and have that experience. They are all a bit different, but in one way they are alike.....most of them are for your pleasure and enjoyment and uplifting, not to make you feel bad. anewme

  • gumby
    gumby

    And what exactly can the Church of Gumby offer me that the Kingdumb Hell couldn't?

    I done told ya honey.

    ,You ain't gotta dress up, or sing, or drive anywhere (gas is way up), act all smiley in the mornins when ya feel like hell, and no readin!

    Only thing ya gotta do to get saved is be my concubine since god told me he needed more gumbies. He wants a whole bunch he said

    Gumoffspringer

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Some very positive ladies from a Bethel Baptist Church came to our home yestersay to invite people in our housing development to their Easter Church service. The next day I discovered I was the only one to come. An old white woman in a beautiful sea of smiling dark faces welcomed me today.

    I decided to go, I hadn't been going anywhere in the past 2 years to any Easter Celebrations. They so warmly greeted me, there was a huge crowd of probably 400 plus people. They had me fill out a visitors card and they gave me a little bag of gifts. So I went in and sat and was immediate greated by all the nice ladies around me. The service was 2 hrs long and so much went all that my senses were just overwhelmed. Never have I been so warmly welcomed at any church ever. These folks were singing their hearts out, dancing in the isles with holy spirit and it was just wonderful. The pastor had me stand up and the entire congregation gave me a very warm welcome during the service which other churches have done before. The closest I've ever come to such an exciting event was at a Pentacostal tent revival I went to one time, but even then this was much more powerful. Everyone in the congregation was crying, singing, dancing and the love in there was strong enough to slice through. It was a WOW moment for me. I was hugged repeatedly and though I consider myself a liberal Christian at times because I don't believe the bible literally. But these people passed out unconditional love like a thick salve on all who entered. I felt humbled and appreciative to have shared Easter service with these folks. I would go back again, and I can see that this was better than any man made drug, it was purely intoxicating. I was exhausted from the emotional journey I traveled with them.

    Balsam

  • Mary
    Mary
    Only thing ya gotta do to get saved is be my concubine since god told me he needed more gumbies. He wants a whole bunch he said,

    Like these l'il gumbastards below? And how the heck are ya gonna be able to uh, perform? Ya ain't got no dinger!!

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