having doubts..

by fairchild 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Liberty

  Dear Fairchild,

  I am so very sorry about your dear friend. It will take a long time for you to heal. But each day will bring you one day closer to a better place in your memory of the one you loved so much. Maybe what you are feeling is a need deep down to have a relationship with Jehovah again. The Society would love you to believe you could never have a relationship with God, without them. Many when leaving the organization, "throw the baby out with the bath water". And by doing that, they are left totally empty inside, feeling that the only way to feel good again, is to return to the meetings. Of course this is your decision, however, weigh carefully the cost. If you have never done research , I pray you do before you make your decision to return. Jehovah HATES a false tounge. And he hates deception. This is a fact. Knowing this, and after much research, it isn't hard to realize that Jehovah wouldn't be lying to his faithful ones. Nor would he use a organization to lie and use deception on his people. Anyhow, I wish you well, no matter what you decide.

  Sincerely,

  Lady Liberty

  P.S. I agree, start with Matthew-John. It will warm your heart to read of Grace.
• 

  serendipity

  (((fairchild ))) I'm sorry for your loss. I echo the earlier thoughts on reading the New Testament. It provides a much different picture of God.
• 

  Fleur

  Fairchild, I am very sorry about your loss. I went through a lot of desperate soul searching after my especially beloved grandmother died, here is the thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/80371/1.ashx people had comments of all kinds...perhaps something in their words to me might resonate with you. There are no easy answers...it was when I stopped frantically searching for meaning and was just still, that I found the peace that I'd been looking for was there in the silence.

  wishing you peace, too whatever you decide that you believe...

  essie
• 

  daystar

  Since I'm in the mood for conciseness today:

  I have a hard time accepting that a loving God would make the whole world suffer century upon century, just to vindicate his name.

  Test your assumption of a "loving God". Does the world you experience really support that characterization? Perhap your idea of who God is needs to be reassessed.
• 

  KW13

  but your friend would surely want you to live your life and be happy without having to lie to yourself. i can't say anything that's gonna make you feel good but what i can say is that from the bible you can get a heavenly hope. thats better than believing in a paradise on earth thats never gonna come, and waiting all your life for 'end of the world'.

  sorry about your loss
• 

  BizzyBee

  fairchild: You can deal with your grief and the period after - mourning - without having the all the answers about God. One foot in front of the other. It just seems more urgent to KNOW right now, but it really is just the human condition to deal with not knowing. And its okay to not know. It really is.

  The WTS has conditioned us to think that we have to have all the answers and that we CAN have all the answers - it is one way that they lure ignorant (but well-meaning) folk into the fold. Do you ever hear them say - "It is a mystery - we just don't know" about ANYTHING? Will pets be resurrected? Can we eat meat in the New World? What if we were married twice in this world - which spouse will we re-unite with? Will there be cars? THEY will find an answer in the literature every time!
• 

  metatron

  Read "Life Before Life" - it's written by a doctor about children's stories of reincarnation. It may help.

  metatron
• 

  funkyderek

  fairchild:

  Sorry for your loss. Grief can prevent us from thinking clearly so try to bear that in mind.

  Then there are days when I think that I should just go back to the KH and make myself believe in a paradise on earth. Does it really matter what we believe in? Does it? Wasn't life easier when we believed that all our tears would be wiped away eventually, that we would see our loved ones again and we would never be sick or grow old?

  Yes it was. And wouldn't life be easier if you just added a few zeroes to your bank balance? All you have to do is believe that you have more money than you really do. Then you could live however you wished, and never have any financial worries again - until reality forces its way in.

  Pretending something is true doesn't make it true. You can believe and wish and hope and pray as much as you want but you will not change a single atom of the universe by doing so.

  Reading fairy tales (whether the Bible or books about reincarnation) won't really help. To cope with the loss, you need to acknowledge it and grieve properly. Playing make-believe will just delay the process.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  [[[[[Fairchild]]]]]

  Sorry for your deep and painful loss. Most have had that happen. Healing takes time.

  In this case two sorts of healing crossed paths, and it has confused you. You were healing from the wounds inflicted by a high control religion that held you hostage for a time in your life. Now, in addition, you are attempting to heal from the wounds that are visited on those whose loved one has died. Don't confuse the signals.

  Will returning to what you know was wrong when you left really help? Much like applying aspirin to pain may dull it - it does nothing to really heal the wounds. Your friend would most likely want you to do what was right for you - not what would make it seem right by blocking out the pain with fantasy.

  It is easy to become robotic - thinking and self direction is much more difficult. I think your mind is desiring to find an easy way out of the pain. Nothing of the kind is lasting. You now have two kinds of pain to heal from, thats all. That is not easy. We will be here for you in anyway we can. At least I will.

  Jeff
• 

  anewme

  Dear Fairchild, you have lost your loved one. Where is he really?
  What happens to us when we die? Will we ever see our loved ones again?
  
  For centuries people have capitolized on our feelings during the mourning of a loved one.
  
  I say find comfort and solace in nature. Look around. What do you see? Is that all you "see"?
  
  What does your heart speak to you when you ask yourself where are the dead?
  
  Mine told me with confidence "There is hope even for a tree" and so I accept that and hope that.
  Religion can be as simple as that.
  
  You do not have to worship God publicly for him to maintain his godship. Do you see the animals getting together and lighting candles? Worship does not have to be complicated.
  Life is precious and mysterious and wonderful and awesome.
  
  
  Sympathy and love to you dear Fairchild at this most tender time.
  Pray to God for your loved one's spirit to find rest.
  And pray for yourself to find comfort and rest too.
  Believe me, you will be answered.
  
  Anewme