Ever since I have begun this JW fade I have this strong desire to reconnect with those I have shunned in my past. Thankfully my own brother and wife have accepted my heartfelt apologizes and are now a part of my life again. On my husband 's side of the family he has a brother he has not seen in about 12 years. He was Df'd at 18 for smoking and pretty much left the area. Today while at work I met his wife for the first time , and his beautiful baby girl .(I knew who she was, but she had no idea who I was ) I introduced myself , and explained how sorry i was the family had treated them so rudely these past years. I told her we no longer want things to go on this way , and that if my brother in law would want to see us we would be more than happy.I then gave her our phone number's and said whatever he decided we would understand. I hope I did the right thing because I did not really know what my husbands feelings would be . I told him tonight though, and he didn't seem to mind.....I hope his brother will chose to call. It just felt like it was something that was suppose to happen.... if you know what I mean ?
Interesting how things seem to happen sometimes......
by troubled mind 11 Replies latest jw experiences
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Snoozy
Good for you. I hope it all works out .
Family is so important to me.
Snoozy
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SWALKER
That's a great start and a very nice thing to do! Most people are willing to let the past be the past and reconnect when an apology is presented. I hope it all works out nicely...
Swalker
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James Free
I hope it works out for you. I have two sons who currently shun me. I don't know if they are dead or alive.
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KW13
thats a really nice thing to do. you've done your part now :)
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Alana
I also felt like you did after I faded. I contacted a few people that I had shunned as a JW to apologize for how I acted, etc. There were just a handful that I knew how to get ahold of, but most were kind and appreciative.
I was able to reconnect to a good friend of mine and she said that she understood that it wasn't me that was being unkind and that I was just doing what I felt I was supposed to do. She said that she knew I was a good person at heart and that someday it would all work out and that she always loved me no matter what. That meant alot to me.
I didn't hear back from the sister of my best friend while growing up. Later I called her home and she coldly acknowledged that she got my messages and that she didn't want to speak to me and hung up. My dad was the P.O. at the time of her DF'ing and he was party to the witch hunt to get her DF'd, and I was just an annoying little girl who'd always be at her house when we were growing up, so I figure that she had alot of emotions involved and I was just opening up the wounds. Her girls have never had a real relationship with their grandparents or their many aunts & uncles. Their family was torn apart. I just hate what that religion does to people and families.
I sure hope you are able to reconnect and get back a good family relationship!!
"Alana"
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stillajwexelder
great news - hope things work out well
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AK - Jeff
I have some of the same feelings on that regard. Although I never went along 100% with the 'shunning' idea as a witness, most of those people that were df'd just kind of disapeared from our lives and we don't know how we could reconnect. But we certainly gave most of the extended family the idea that we didn't want to have many dealing with them - though we always tried to be nice - just the basic no holidays, birthdays, and generally no association with 'wordly people' did that.
I like the way you handled it - good luck. I have reconnected with a few family members since we left. Family is important.
Jeff
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greendawn
One of the nice things about leaving the dubs is that one can reconnect with the persons that s/he was shunning in the past and apologise for having once followed the cruel wishes of the cultic JWs.
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sass_my_frass
Apologies are gold! You did the right thing. We've all been some kind of JW ass, I've tried to make up for my little episodes of self-righteousness in any way I can.