what do you say in your answering machine message?

by zagor 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • zagor
    zagor

    I've come across some really funny ones as well as weird ones at times. It is amazing how much such a small message can tell about a person behind.

    here are some I found recently ...

    Actual Answering Machine Messages.Actual Answering Machine Messages.
    *My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
    *This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.
    *Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets
    *Hi. Now YOU say something.
    *Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.
    *Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.

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  • PoppyR
    PoppyR
    Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you

    LOL at this one. definitely going to re-record mine which is very boring and traditional.

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  • wombat
    wombat

    My son recorded sound from a porno...Grunting and squealing and honky-tonk piano. Then he said "I'm busy - leave a message".....

    His phone never stopped ringing.

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  • Champion
    Champion

    My JW dad's says .. Hi I'm not home, but leave your name and number. Have a good day AND STAY SAFE !

    So typical JW waiting for something bad to happen.

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  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    A friend of mine has something similar to the "avoiding" one above. His says;

    "Hi you've reached *** I've been making some changes in my life recently. Please leave me a message and if I don't call you back, your one of those changes..."

    Good message for faders!

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  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    "Hello. I am censoring my calls, so leave a message. If I feel like it I'll return your call. Bye."

    W

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  • wombat
    wombat

    "If I owe you money..Press 1

    If you owe me money...Press 2 "

    (Please contribute further options....ie "If I abused you last night whilst drunk..Press 3)

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  • Shazard
    Shazard

    In the voice of Dart Vader : Speak, WORM!

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  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    I do normal messages now, but before I had some really good ones. My friends would absolutely hate me......

    The classic ...

    Hello?.......(they think you just said hello)

    pause for a moment (they are probably saying hi back)

    then you say..... "How are you doing?" (give them time to answer)

    then reply back "I am doing just fine."(or whatever you like)

    Let a few moment pass, start laughing, and say we are not at home leave a message...I promise you will piss off so many.

    Another message of mine was...

    We are not at home, or we are and we have caller ID and saw your name come up and decided not to pick up for a good reason. If you happen to think we are screening you don't leave a message.

    Love Brooke

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  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I never heard any such strange messages on an answering machine and I just use a straight forward one: "I am not at home at present please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as possible, or call my mobile number which is xxxxxxxxxx"

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