So, what did u like as a JW?

Pathofthorns

When you wore the "rose-coloured" glasses, what did u like about it?

Post anything that comes to mind. You don't have to think of everything at once.

I sort of miss giving talks. While they stressed me out, and wore me out giving one, I don't think I'll have such a forum (in real life) to really confess my faith before a group of people of any size.

I miss some people, that weren't close enough to be really good friends, but were nice none-the-less.

I miss the "social club", the common connection with a group of people you don't even know. That was kind of cool.

I sort of miss the meetings in a weird way. I kind of enjoyed some of the parts, certain speakers. (I don't miss hopping in a cold car to after a long work day with no dinner to get to the meeting )

I miss putting on a suit every now and again.

ok that will do for now. anyone else?

RedhorseWoman

I do kind of miss the "social club" atmosphere, even though I was generally on the fringes and never quite fit.

I also liked going to District Assemblies all over the country. It was the only opportunity I ever had to travel. I'd combine an assembly with vacation, and that made it quite enjoyable.

AhHah

Path,

That is an excellent question/survey to post. There were many positive aspects of active JW membership.

I believe that a big part of the appeal when one is active is the sense of belonging to a peer group with an ostensibly noble purpose, and self-validation (and for some, self-righteousness).

I genuinely enjoyed the field ministry, giving talks (including public talks), conducting Bible studies (including cong book study), teaching public speaking as a Theocratic School conductor, and opportunities to provide moral support to those who faced various problems in their lives. Those represented opportunities to give to others what I viewed as valuable at the time (and much of it was), and hence the joy that comes from properly motivated and unselfish giving. Of course, because I did not view most of those activities as optional, and because they were often not balanced with other necessary aspects of my personal life, they extracted a price that, in retrospect, was not always commensurate.

For that reason, I really don't miss those activities that I enjoyed. I have begun to learn how to continue meaningful giving to others and to recognize those opportunities with all people I come into contact with, not just a select group. I am glad to say that I also now feel much better about making a priority of giving to and supporting family members, instead of feeling conflicted about having to "beg off" from some congregational activity to do so.

As Frenchy has so elegantly stated before, I believe that forums (especially this one) can provide an excellent way to continue to reach out with love and support to others. In my mind, our dear brothers and sisters who are dealing with the painful fallout of the negative aspects of JW membership certainly qualify as those especially worthy of our support, as we should also be more capable of empathy and understanding than most, in view of the common experience.

Pathofthorns

Probably one of the most special moments of the year as JW was when the people stood up to get baptised, and everyone applauded.

Now I know that they were baptized into an Organization, I knew most were raised in the truth and statistcally destined to "fall away".

But I remember what that day meant to me, the feelings sitting in the "special section". I think for the most part its a moment of genuiness for most people.

I had alot of pride in being a part of it all during those moments.

Path

Frenchy

I have feelings similar to those expressed here already. Being the P.O. in a small congregation tends to keep one quite busy. I was also a book study conductor, Watchtower study conductor, had to do the school quite often, as well as circuit and district duties as well. You cannot be that involved and not miss it when you stop. I miss being that busy I guess.
I miss 'taking care' of people. Yesterday I did a funeral for a brother that had moved into our territory a couple of years back. He had been very sick and I visited him from time to time. His wife is an unbeliever but she asked me to do the funeral. He had no relatives in the organization so there was no pressure there. She said that he had asked for me to do it and although I don't enjoy doing a funeral discourse it made me feel good that he (and his wife) thought enough of me to ask specifically for me to do it. He could have very well aksed for someone from his home congregation especially since the funeral and burial was not three miles from his home Kingdom Hall.
It's things such as this that I miss. I took care of those people for a long time and it's hard to just sit passively by now and do nothing. We have always had an elder or two that was more concerned with the rules than with the brothers and sisters and I have on many occassion interceded in behalf of one of the friends to keep some gung-ho elder from hurting their feelings. There is no one there to do that for them now.
I miss taking care of the flock. It was what made it so very difficult for me to step down and why I did it the way that I did.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

Pathofthorns

I'm sure you are missed Frenchy. I miss those who genuinely cared about people.

Path

Angharad

I miss the Social side too - not so much from my last congregation (I never felt like I fitted in there), but from the congregation in Wales and all the people I grew up with.

You don't realize until you leave how powerful the no outside associates suggestion (rule) is - it was only once we left that we realized how few people we know who aren't witnesses.

RedhorseWoman

I find it interesting to note the differences between men and women in listing things they like.

Males were allowed to become more fully involved in the group. Women were always pushed to the side. Our input was neither solicited nor wanted.

I was always a shy, private person. Field service was torture, as was giving talks. Anything else I could have possibly enjoyed was forbidden to me as a woman.

AhHah

Red,

I totally agree. Everyone misses out as a result of the fewer opportunities women are given to share in the teaching and administrative decisions and policies, since they are not allowed to serve as elders.

I am aware of the apostle Paul's restriction of women from teaching in the congregation. I cannot understand it, however. If women are to serve as kings and priests at the right hand of God and have authority over angels, why would their full and equal participation in the congregation not be desired? I know about the headship principle, but I question if it is truly the will of God, as opposed to the will of the men who wrote it.

waiting

Hey Red,

As I got older, I got less shy, more outspoken. But even then, the elders & brothers "suffered" my WT comments (always correct, btw - some not too friendly towards those in power). They couldn't really correct me as I would quote the WTBTS, line, par, word. Another sister told me that they didn't really like me. The sisters did, however.

But the average - good - sister wouldn't talk up like me. She would remain in "her place." Particularily in the South, which remains in the 40's - 50's on equality. This hasn't changed. Sisters come by our store and say they miss my comments - I say you can comment - they say, "no, I don't have the nerve."

It is such a shame that women are not used more - some of them are so much more qualified than their male counterparts. Such a shame the women don't have a penis.

waiting

ps - I miss wearing jewelry and good heels. I still comment - just in another forum.

Edited by - waiting on 18 October 2000 22:11:3

So, what did u like as a JW?

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