I had a dream last night that my Dad had a heart attack and died. My mom said it was because I broke his heart when I left the "truth". I just cried and cried. I felt awful for letting him die with a broken heart. I know it is them that are shunning me, but it seemed so much nicer when they just thought I was a lost sheep and not one that purposely left.
Awful Dream
by unique1 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Nathan Natas
That would be very disturbing. Bear in mind that dreams are made from the flotsam and jetsam of our minds and are not predictors of future events. Your waking rational mind is your best friend, and from your comments it seems you ARE thinking clearly on the matter.
If you are frequently disturbed by strange dreams, you may find it helpful to take some Kava-Kava (an herb found in health food/vitamin stores) just before bedtime. It is a relaxant with no intoxicating side effects. Another candidate would be the herb Valerian.
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misanthropic
(((((((unique1)))))))
I have weird dreams like that about my family all the time. It seems like the more time I spend on here the more frequent they are. It may be hard to deal with sometimes, but I figure it's just me working things out subconsciously. -
Balsam
Oh Honey,
Child that is like the Jewish Mom who puts the guilt trip on her kids for the failure to live up to her expectations. Old and very effective way to make offspring feel guilty.
Such dreams come with leaving a high control group. I had such dreams to but not about my parents but about my sons hating me forever. I had terrible dreams but they are voices of our fears, because they come from our feelings of guilt of going against something others feel is life. Its hard but gradually those types of dreams will go away. Our minds are trying to make sense of others reaction to our choices to have freedom.
If your father were to die of a broken heart it would only because that was his choice in how he viewed the situation. He is unwilling to view your escape as life saving for you because he is blinded by the religion. The biggest mistake parents make is that they build these expectations of how their children will be when they are grown. That they will have certain jobs, or stick to certain religions they have been raised in. It goes on and on and that is your parents problem not yours. You can't live your life by your parent's expectations.
Realize Unique1 that they are the ones in the cult, and they see everything through the eyes of the cult. If there is an afterlife and your Dad was to pass and then be in spirit, he would suddenly realize that he was the misinformed one and not you. You had been right all along, and only through his death would he learn how wrong he had been. Your mother would use anything to put a guilt trip on you in the real world and you know it. You would not be the source of either of their disappointments. It would be the garbage the religion pumped into there weak and gullible brains.
Honey remember your the one in the right, they are the mistaken ones.
Ruth
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Crumpet
i have dreams about my family too - you can control them to an extent. As I only get to spend time with them when I'm asleep I generally look forward to them even if they are sad. Most recently the dreams focus around me explaining to them why it isn't the truth.
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unique1
I rarely have serious dreams. Mine are usually about a member of some music group, or a talking milkshake or going on a strange adventure. I just hate waking up sad. My hubby said, whoa, might be time for some therapy if that keeps up. He may be right. Hopefully my dreams will return to the crazy ones again tonight. :-)
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sass_my_frass
I'm sorry honey, you're going through such a bad time!
Dreams don't mean anything, they're just randomly-presented thought sequences that we have when we're awake. Sometimes they can really shake us. Most of the time they're just weird thoughts.
You've got to find some ways to relax; I'm talking really short-term here. Can you get some exercise, maybe go to a stretchy yoga class, or lock yourself in the bathroom while you have a glass of wine and a few hours in bubbles? Something like that? Demand the time from some other part of your life. You're working yourself into a bad way.
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sass_my_frass
... Also, I'm starting to realise that this is a long grieving process, and that our societies aren't very good at grieving. I've seen docos about places that have week-long grieving sessions where the women wail for days and the men rip clothes and burn things. It looks insane to us, but you know, if you were forced to act wildly unhappy about something, wouldn't that help get it out of your system? I'm considering a day in the forest for some wailing, myself
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Crumpet
Sass I'd join you for the wailing in the forest thing! Can you imagine?!
Mind you I did have whole nights wailing when I initially left - sitting outside my parents house or outside the kingdomhall. Perhaps it helped perhaps it didn't. Maybe I need a new wailing now that I know what i was wailing about first time round was all a big lie?