by Wendy_Warden 9 Replies latest jw experiences
and they converted from the church. As I've said before my boy friend is a JW. For those of you who were dating a JW and they did leave the church, how did it happen? How did you approuch the topic?
I don't pretend to know everything so I am open for your comments whatever they may be.
Wendy
Hi Wendy,
I am married to a fading JW. I think a constant campaign of information in a loving way about the WTS helps. My husband hasn't gone to a meeting in 4 years. He does still have some loyalty towards the society and their beliefs, but nothing like it used to be.
Don't give up hope, the littlest thing can spark a change in their lives.
Best Regards,
Chrystal
Hi Wendy,
NO... I am not married or dating a JW...but I was married to one while I was a JW myself. Most do not leave....even if they don't attend their meetings often. Whether a "weak" JW....or a "strong" JW.... the doctrines are deeply imbeded in their heads.
I don't know your feelings for your boyfriend.....or how much you care for him...but you have to think long and hard about what it entails for you. If you think that the eventuality is that he will leave his faith...the odds may be more against that.
It will effect every facet of your relationship and your life. You will have to contend with holidays... birthdays... patriotic events... and if he should get more involved as he gets older than it will causes a huge rift between you. Children are another whole matter to broach.
Being a JW is not just a belief system...but a way of life.
Where is he at in regards to being a Jw?
gold_morning
The WTBTS have a pretty good program for converting a regular Christian to a JW. All they have to do is disillusion the student on the origins of Orthodox Christianity, convince them that the trinity is a pagan corruption, that the "cross" is a pagan corruption of the stake. Once the Christian is convinced that their own beliefs are "pagan" they are ripe for conversion to the JW's.
I suspect a convert would be more zealous than a JW born in to it.
You might be able to chip away at the original teachings that convinced the person by showing that the JW's are guilty of sloppy scholarship. Stakes are just as pagan as crosses. Convicts WERE crucified on both crosses and stakes at the time that Jesus was crucified.
I'm a JW convert who is married to someone who was basically raised in the Watchtower. What I see the most is that she is simply emotionally attached to the things she was taught, and because of that she is not able to reason. Leaving the JWs is a process and a half. It took me 3 years to fully come to grips that the Watchtower was not the truth. Because of this I know it will be a long time before my wifes sees such things as well. Set a good example and show patience, never running ahead of what the person your trying to help is able to handle.
Gold Morning : You know the tough part isn't the holidays and stuff. I mean, I guess that it would be annoying not to do them, but I don't really see that as the major problem. I could go without. Really the trinity and deity of Christ is the part that sinks me.
My BF is in no way going to convert me to JB. Personally a lot of our beliefs do agree and I think that was one of the things that brought us together...we were the only people like each other in the whole college. I love him very much and becuase of that I don't want to make a mistake by just tossing him as everyone seems to encourge. I am asking these questions so that I can have a full understanding of what I would be getting into if our relationship goes any deeper.
Wendy,
Why don't the two of you go on a mutual quest that investigates all options. You'd be surprised how much there is to understand about how other belief systems are similiar and how they differ depending upon their history and culture. It took me neigh on to 18 years before I became what I am today. I would'nt trade the journey for anything. Perhaps the only way the two of you can find real harmony and unity is to leave behind all preconceived beliefs and investigate reality as if you were on CIS!
I wish you well!
carmel
I'd agree so far with carmel's advice. As long as your boyfriend doesn't pull out a Watchtower publication.
A mutual exploration might work if he's cool with it. I suggest, Wendy Warden, that you investigate the doctrines and origins of the Quakers, the Christadelphians, and the Bible Students. To search for common ground.
| Re: Re: For those married to a JW | ||
Post 17 of 18 since 21-Apr-06 |
. My BF is in no way going to convert me to JB. Personally a lot of our beliefs do agree and I think that was one of the things that brought us together...we were the only people like each other in the whole college. I love him very much and becuase of that I don't want to make a mistake by just tossing him as everyone seems to encourge. I am asking these questions so that I can have a full understanding of what I would be getting into if our relationship goes any deeper. discuss it with him. You are not that close if you can not communicate these things. | |
Hey Wendy..
I'm married to a fading JW...He hasn't attended meetings in about 6 years and only goes to "Memorial" each year. Well, I've had to learn the hard way how to deal with him and his family. All I have to say to you is to EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT THIS RELIGION. It's the best way to deal with it. No matter how distant or weak they are, their beliefs are very encrusted in their minds and it's hard to get them to think for themselves. In my house, discussions on religion are avoided...but when they do come up it gets ugly. Once you are equipped with the right tools (information) you will be OK...Before I knew anything, I was often offended for being Catholic. It's not a good feeling. There were so many things that I could've said to them to offend them right back, but I chose not to for the sake of my marriage and new family. I love my husband, I fell in love with him (not his religion)...He loves me too and we are making it work. Now that I know more about his religion, I know how to defend myself in any given situation.
Good luck to you and remember, EDUCATION IS BEST!
-DK
