How do you handle extremely rude people in public?

Virgochik

I'm so upset by two vicious women who came to my work today. I was helping a man in my line and they tried to cut in front. I politely explained that as soon as I finished with my customer, I would help them. The women started talking loudly about me to the whole place: "I guess she can't multi-task, can she. Can't do two things at once. I bet she doesn't have any kids! Nope, she sure can't be a mother, or not a very good one! Hahaha!"

I'll probably get in lots of trouble, but I quietly said, " Ladies, I'm just back from my hysterectomy. Your words were very hurtful to me. No, I'm not a mother, and now, I never will be. We three are all women, let's be considerate of another lady's feelings, since we never know what another person is going through."

Woman #1: "Well, I'm a retired nurse, and so I AM a sensitive person! I just wanted you to answer a question. Can't you do two things at once?"

Me: "I just like to give my full attention to the customer I am helping. I'm sorry to have shared my feelings with you, I shouldn't have. Have a good day, ma'am."

Woman #1: "Yeah, like I'm going to now!"

How do you guys handle mean people on the job? If they complain to my boss, I'll probably have to apologize. I blew it today, but it just pushed my sensitive buttons .

Seeking Knowledge

I don't think you were wrong in any way. Sure you gave them information they didn't need or deserve to know, but they were incredibly rude to feel that they were more important than even the customer you were helping first. THEY are the ones with the problem, not you.

It's hard to deal with people like that, you did better than I would have, which is probably why I don't work directly with the public

All you can do is smile and nod your head. If they go to your boss, so be it, they'll probably be just as rude to him/her as they were to you. While the "customer is always right", that doesn't mean they should bully their way into being helped. Miserable bitter people do try to make everyone around them the same way.

Sorry you had to deal with that Virgochik, I hope you feel better!

SK

LittleToe

Ewww I prefer not to "handle" such people - especially in public!

Some folks have the monopoly on stupidity. Let 'em enjoy it, I say

{{{hugs}}}

fullofdoubtnow

Virgochik, I am so sorry that you went through that, and it's them that should be apologising, not you. You handled it about as well as it's possible to do. I hope you are feeling ok now.

love

Linda

LDH

((((((((((((Virgo)))))))))))

Sorry about the hysterectomy and the loss of the possibility to have children the 'traditional' way.

Your words should have triggered an apology instead of defensiveness. I don't think they were human.

Lisa

LDH

The real LDH comes back.

"Well, I'm a retired nurse, and so I AM a sensitive person!

Well then since you are a retarded nurse, perhaps my expectations of you are too high. I apologize.

To make you smile.

kittyeatzjdubs

((((virgochik)))

I know what you mean. Used to I couldn't stand calling customer service representatives b/c they all seemed rude and on edge........then I became one. People are awful. They call you screaming and yelling b/c you can't get the thing to them tomorrow, and they're the ones who waited till the last minute to call. And they're all so damn demanding and degrading. They talk to you like you're no better than the $hit on the bottom of your shoe. I love the ones who don't listen to a damn word your saying when your explaining what they need to send in as far as receiving their request...then they call in a month later screaming b/c they don't have it yet. Then you ask them did they send in the required papers...and the say no b/c ''noone told me anything about some damn id!''....and you remember taking their order and how they didn't listen to a damn word you said.

I used to try to be as cordial as possible. Then something snapped and I just don't really give a flying fart. If the situation is right, I'll be just as rude back at them. If you have the gall to call me and yell at me b/c YOU didn't read the directions...then tell me that it doesn't say that on the website and I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT AS I SPEAK TO YOU...yeah...I'm gonna be a little pissy.

**sigh** I think my blood pressure just jumped another 20 points.

Please be kind to your local customer service representative. We can only do so much...we are not God. And if YOU messed up and it's YOU'RE fault...please don't scream at us, b/c we will know it's your'e fault and the more you scream at us, the more our respect for you goes down the $hitter.

luv, jojo

Sad emo

I was in a similar situation a few months back where a customer was positively verbally abusive to me. Then I tried to explain my situation but she was too damned rude to listen or care. The other customers saw and heard everything and were 100% on my side - so with hindsight I need not have said anything in my 'defence' - it was the customer who made herself look stupid in front of everyone.

There was one thing I learnt from that event - there are some really mean folk out there who behave that way for whatever reasons in their own lives - the motto I took to heart was 'That meanness is their poison and I don't have to absorb it'

I might get upset or angry for a short while but I've learnt not to dwell for too long on such events - thats how I define pulling out the poisoned dart before it gets chance to really sink into my system.

Now, I tend to just smile sweetly and switch off my hearing if anyone has a go at me. I guess in the situation you just described, I'd just say firmly but politely something like 'Sorry to keep you waiting but I'm helping this customer and I'll be with you as quickly as possible' - if they throw a tantrum, it's them who will look stupid. It's really hard to switch but often your best defence.

If those women complain to your boss, just take it this time and apologise (you don't have to mean it - just humour them lol!) and move on. You can't change what's happened but you can use it to develop a strategy for any future occurences.

kittyeatzjdubs

If those women complain to your boss, just take it this time and apologise (you don't have to mean it - just humour them lol!) and move on.

Yes...tell them that you're sorry they're such unempathetic ignorant people who probably don't have many friends.

luv, jojo

AuldSoul

You could have broken down crying on the spot and wailed, "No, I can't have children. You're right, I can't make a good mother or a bad mother or any <sob> other kind of mother." In quieter tones, lean in after getting control again and say, "I'm <sob> sorry, it's just that I just had a hysterectomy...and well, I always wanted children...but your right, I'd probably have gotten distracted by something else and they'd have died anyway. So maybe it is for the best."

They would have fallen all over themselves apologizing. Reasoning with rude people usually inspires more rudeness, they seem to believe you are insulting their intellect or something.

Or taken down the license plate number of the vehicle they drove, find it, and have a little fun one night a few weeks later with a tube of superglue. I am fond of the "cold revenge" platters...

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

How do you handle extremely rude people in public?

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