My study conductor is trying to make me feel bad

by cev 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ColdRedRain

  Looks like somebody hasn't forgotten about their expereinces in the printing press at Bethel
• 

  Scully

  The first thing you need to understand is that this is typical cult recruitment behaviour. Abusive religious systems rely heavily on making you feel bad (guilty) if you choose to leave the group or make choices that do not reflect the group's goals. In the case of JWs, the group's goal is incremental and gradual:

  1. get you to accept the magazines they offer just once
  2. get you to accept the magazines they offer regularly (you took them before, so you'd feel bad if you said no)
  3. get you to accept a book they offer once
  4. get you to invite them into your home to Study the Bible™ using the book you accepted (1 hour/week commitment)
  5. get you to start attending a Bible Study/Book Study in someone else's home (2 hours/week commitment)
  6. get you to start attending the Kingdom Hall on Sunday for the Public Talk (3 hours/week commitment)
  7. get you to stay for the Watchtower Study once you are at the Kingdom Hall for the Public Talk (4 hours/week commitment)
  8. get you to come along in the door-to-door preaching for "just an hour" (which turns into 2 usually... (5-6 hours/week)
  9. get you to attend the Ministry School (this invitation is usually first offered when the conductor is "giving a talk" on the platform, and they say how much it would mean for them if you could come and watch them, and you feel like you owe it to these nice people to be polite and go and support them in this endeavour) - it's "just an hour"... but it ends up being 2 hours because there is a Service Meeting following the Ministry School (7-8 hours/week)

  If you knew starting out that you would be expected to spend a minimum of 8 hours per week performing JW related activities, would you have accepted a Bible Study with them? Probably not. That's why they start with just small amounts of your time - one hour per week - they study things that are easy for you to accept: that God's name is "Jehovah", that you didn't learn it at your church (they lied to you!! your parents lied to you!! you can't trust them anymore!!) that the Lord's Prayer means something special when it says "Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (your church didn't teach you that either!! those liars!! you can't trust them!!). Once they have convinced you that your current belief system has been dishonest with you, they have broken your trust in that belief system and anyone associated with it, and replaced that with trust in the JWs. When they have accomplished this, they will introduce the concept of outsiders being influenced by Satan the Devil and that the goal of the Devil is to stop you from studying the Bible with JWs. Satan does this by getting family members and friends to say negative things about JWs. Any negative commentary is then perceived by the victim as being satanic in origin, an effort to rob the victim of Everlasting Life in Paradise on Earth™ which would result in being destroyed at Armageddon™. In doing this, the victim of cult recruitment is drawn more deeply into the group, one small step at a time, practically without them even noticing it.

  See if you can find this book at the library: Combatting Cult Mind-Control by Steve Hassan. Hassan's experience is with the Moonies, however, the techniques that are used to recruit and entrap people in the JWs are very very similar to what Hassan describes. The fact is, that JWs use very subtle forms of dishonesty to reel people into their group. Their teachings are peppered with small grains of truth, yet when you ask questions, they are dismissive or avoid answering them because they have an agenda to get you involved and hooked. They will be super nice, very friendly, very kind and helpful - offering you rides in their cars to get to meetings, socializing, etc - this is an effort to make you dependent on them emotionally, and once you are dependent on them in that way, they start to control you and manipulate you into following their agenda. This is programmed behaviour - it is not something that they consciously realize they are doing - they are following a program that has been used for many years, it is the same way they were trained to become JWs.

  If you no longer want to receive emails from your Bible Study conductor, you should probably just block the email address, or get a different email address and cancel the one you have.

  Do not allow your emotions to get in the way of doing what is in your best interests. JWs will exploit their so-called "friendship" with you and try to make you feel guilty about stopping a Bible study with them. If you can keep resisting, they will move on to another target in due time.
• 

  Balsam

  Oh Mary,

  That is a good one. LOL LOL

  Balsam
• 

  Tea4Two

  If you're trying to avoid getting DF'd, then just email him back and say you're suffering badly from depression right now and the meds the doctor has put you on is causing you to see smurfs running around your home with crosses around their necks. You've tried calling out Jehovah's name, but that just makes the smurfs grow bigger and bigger and one of them spoke to you telling you to invite your bookstudy conductor over to the house. Tell him you won't be coming back till you're on the right medication and then thank him for his time.

  If hollywood ever makes a horror film of JW superstitions, I will go just for the humor of it all and laugh my butt off.
• 

  White Waves

  Quickly block his emails or DONT READ THEM. Change phone numbers or get caller ID. And most important of all, don't let the KH suffice for you - branch out before you are sucked back in and get support from all that is available on the Internet. Develop friendships and a life outside the org. Isolation will make you miss the KH and even tempt you to make due and be something you are not.