But see, when I was in the troof and a MS and a Pioneer, it was DEVESTATING to me because I always felt so unclean.
Even as a dub with no standing in the congregation, I felt like I always fell short and was always unclean. All you had to do was read the mags and go to the "public" talks on Sunday. It was all about guilt and debt and beating the flock down for being human. That was what finally drove me out. I couldn't take the pain and shame over my WTS-induced inadequacies. I felt it was better to get croaked at the Big A than to live my life like that any more.
