OK so your wife is a JW right?
Now JW go to their elders to ask them what to say to non-believers. Isn't that right?
They wouldn't take it upon themselves to get into Word of Truth (the bible) and show you.
blessedstar
My Wife.... Ughh
by roflcopter 15 Replies latest jw friends
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TheListener
Drew Sagan hit the nail on the head.
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katiekitten
I feel so sorry for you. Its so hard, because people only see things when they are ready to (I wouldnt hear a wrong word said about the JW when I was in it).
I think its true, its only when the bullshit hurts her will she smell it. In the case of my cousins their life is so cosy it will never touch them. Plus the religion keeps people so busy they dont have any time for real critical thinking.
Plus there is a 'payoff' for partners of unbelievers. They get lots of sympathy, and whole talks devoted to them about how hard it is for them. And if their marriage cracks up, they are maytyrs to the cause and they have 'sacrificed everything for jehovah'. If she leaves the JWs eventually, she will be vilified for being weak and putting the pleasures of the flesh infront of jehovah. Shes under a HUGE amount of pressure to conform.
Best of luck.
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detective
No, no, no! Do not waste your time any further with this plan of attack. It's time for you to get sneaky. Seriously, you need a longterm plan to systematically undo the bonds of the cult. Please do yourself a huge favor and read Steven Hassan's two cult-help books "releasing the bonds: empowering people to think for themselves" and the other book by him (I can't remember the name of it at the moment).
You have to prep her carefully over time and be patient. I hate to say this, but you will have to be plotting out your moves very slowly and carefully including watching her body language, knowing what type of attachment she has to the group (emotional, phsyical etc) and what factors she feels are most important. seriously- please read those books. I really believe that having a well-planned attack is the best way to help get someone out...
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xjwms
I Know.....I Know
My wife will not talk about meetings or anything.......she just keep going.....as if to set the example for me.
As soon as I bring ANYTHING up, .. her mind turns off.
Sooooo don't even ask me why I drink.
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Check_Your_Premises
She has been intoctrinated with thought stopping techniques. She has been trained to use cliche's and catch phrases like "at least they are honest about their mistakes" or "where else can we go" or "they are just imperfect men" or "apostates just want to tear down, they never want to build up".
These are just a few examples. By using these cliche's she is able to answer the question in her mind without any further thought or analysis. Anyone trying to get her to view the jw in a negative way is trying to take her faith away! Anyone trying to take her faith away is trying to endanger her hope for eternal life.
Why would she want to listen to that?
You do not have a jw problem, you have a cult problem. Spend more time learning about cults and how to help people in them. Spend less time hassling your wife over her beliefs. It won't work and it will only cause her to view you negatively and with less trust.
Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan is probably the best explanation of this phenomenon. His next book, Releasing the Bonds is excellent as well.
For info on cults check out rickross.org. He has some good videos if you aren't much for reading.
Take care. There is probably nothing more maddening than being married to a JW. But there is hope, and there are many here who share the experience.
Don't try to re-invent the wheel. There are many who have been where you are. We know what works and what doesn't.
CYP