A little background has to why I left 'The Truth'

by Kero-kero 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Kero-kero
    Kero-kero

    Hello all.

    There was a request made by some here...well ok one person here to say a little bit about myself and what happened to my wifes nephew nad his unjust disfellowship.

    Ok...well, I think I have already said a little about myself before, so I will be quick. Started to study in 1987 and then was baptised in 1989 at Hayesbridge assembly hall (sorry...my spelling...forgotton how to spell Hayesbridge) in Surrey just south of the M25. I went to Pakistan to help for a little while and there I met my now wife. We married in 1994. I returned to England with my wife and to my old congregation. We decided to move to a more local congregation in respects to the area we live. After a couple of years a small Punjabi group started up in Slough we we joined (My wife speaks Punjabi) and we also attened the Punjabi Congregation in Hounslow and of course the Punjabi assemblies in Dudly. We had to leave in the end due to finances but we still did our best to help out in the foriegn field. I started talking to an elder and it came up that I studied Japanese for a few years and he told me about the Japanese meetings in North London, so I just had to attend. I ended up staying and of course again I would go to the Japanese assemblies (out of all the things...it is the Japanese meetings and assemblies that I miss the most) I never made a full commitment to moving to the Japanese congregation has I did not want things to end up like they did with the Punjabi Congregation, but I want most of the time. But then someone told me about a lady that had just moved to the UK with her husband and family, they were from Japan and she was studying, so I met her. She was in my old Congregation. Of course when I went up to her and started to speak Japanese she was very pleased and we became friends. But then a few people in the congregation started to say some nasty things and spread some rumours. They even said to me...in my face.."Going to speak to your girlfriend again?" And "How is your girlfriend?" Thankfully she never heard what was being said...or she did not really understand. I felt I had no choice but to stop talking to her. The things that were said I found hurtful and unpleasent...and I think that was the start of my 'downfall' so to speak.

    It was not long after that I found myself asking the elders questions about the WTS and some of their teachings....the strange thing is, instead of answering me, they would say things like 'Have you been reading apostate material?" I was starting to get really annoyed. I would ask them about the WT as an NGO and their answer was either a) "I do not know anything about that" or b) "It was for research" Anyway I was spiritually weak, so instead of helping me....like the elders are instructed to do...that is help the spiritually weak in the congregation I was being shunned and I was not even DF'd. Some people would out and out ignore me....WHY? Just because I asked a few questions and I was struggling spiritually and that I had some doubts. What is wrong with questioning what we believe in? But of course that makes me an evil apostate.

    Anyway it was these last two events that really made me change my mind about the WTS and was really the finial cut.

    My wife's nephew was recently DF'd, unfairly....this is what happened.

    My wife's nephew was very strong in 'The Truth' and married a JW. After 6 months of marriage his wife become a little strange..to eventually being a lot strange. She was telling elders that he was going out and having affiars with other women when he was either at work at his parents house or on the ministry and one of the elders that she spoke was even on the ministry with him on one of the times she claims he was with another woman. It turns out that she and her family were invovled with witchcraft and black magic...or... 'Jadoo' has they call it in Pakistan. Her sister in the UK even wrote a letter to the elders to tell them that it is true her sister and parents are involved with Jadoo. This must have caused some problems has my nephew's wife asked that if her brother and his friends....Oh an by the way her brother was a JW and one of the friends was a Ministrial Servant (MS), to beat him up. So they did...they even threatened to kill him...he manged to escape and reported to the police. The MS admited to the police that they beat him up under instruction from the brother. Of course by then my wifes nephew had enough so he moved out. His wife then applied for divorce, and he signed the papers to make it a legal divorce....But the Elders came to him and told him the divorce was not a scriptural divorce. After a meeting with three elders over a period of about 3 nights the DF'd him on the grounds that he divorced his wife and lied. When he appealed, which he can do...I think in 7 days, it was the same three elders on the appeal commity...when it should have been three different elders from three different congregations...and the elders...well...one was the uncle of my nephews now ex-wife and the other one was a friend of the family...and according to witnesses also took part in the 'jadoo' They rejected his witensses for the appeal inlcuding the Police and they reject the police statment saying that the brother (a JW) and the MS were forced to write the statment. He kept on going to the meetings and recently asked about being reinstated by they said he can only be reinstated if he re-married his ex-wife...so he said 'no'...and now no longer gos to any meetings.

    I found that whole thing disgusting...I even wrote to the New York Bethel, but there was no reply.

    The other thing that really knocked me was to find out that a friend of mine was abused by her grandfather...who was an elder. My friend is mentally scared by his acts. She eventually took up the courage to report him after he tried it on again with her a few months ago. But of course she reported it first to the elders. They took away his congregational privilages....but he was not DF'd. They did not invovle the police in any way and there answer was something along the lines of 'It is in Jehovah's hands" WHAT!!!!!! She had the police get invovled herself, much to the dipleasure of the elders and her fathers sister who refuses to talk to her/ My friend is now deciding if she should press charges or not...what stopping her is the fact it has already caused a lot of heart ache for her father and she does not like seeing him upset...but at least he is supporting her and will stand by her choice. But the elders did nothing to help...I also cannot understand how they did not DF him. But I guess it is all part of the cover up to make the WTS look clean and pure to the outside world.

    These two events were the finial straw for me. I could no longer be aprt of such an organisation. I now know the real truth behing 'The Truth' And I have learnt a lot more about the WTS in recent months...a lot of the stuff is years old but I have only just discovered it.

    Ok....on a personal level things that effect me were more peoples attitude and is nothing compared to what happened to my wife's nephew and my friend

    But once those doubts start growing in your heard and you start finding out more and more about the WTBTS then you realise that it is nothing more than a sect in it for it's own gain....I can no longer belong to such an organisation.

    I am an ex-JW or be it I am 'fading', I do not even suffer with depression like I used to...I just hope that soon my wife will wake up and see the light about the WTS and come out...instead of threatning to divorce me when ever I metion that I plan to write a letter of DA.

    I think that is enough...I have only covered the surface. I did not go too deep...just enough to give you chaps and chapettes a little background.

    Take care all

    Kero-kero

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Thanks for sharing your story. It's always interesting to see how people come to be here.
    Sound like you've really been through alot. The rumour mill always got me. I mean what could be more blatantly unchristian? So crazy!
    As for your wife's nephew, wow. It's sad but I've heard so many stories now like his that it no longer surprises me. I hope that he does his research and sees the org for what it is so he doesn't consider going back.
    Where does your wife stand at the moment? Is she still attending?
    tall penguin

  • ButtLight
    ButtLight

    Wow, what a story! No wonder you left! Everytime I hear stories like that, it just reminds me that I made the right choice to leave!

  • Kero-kero
    Kero-kero

    tall penguin.

    Yes my wife still attends, but she really wants to leave the congregation for a new one in which she know no one and nobody knows her, but she cannot drive and so she relies on lifts to the meetings...I am hoping that this will be the trigger for her leaving.

    I have spoken to her about the things I have discovered about the WTS but she is in that mind set that it is all lies written by apostates.

    But she no longer goes to all the meetings...just the Sunday meeting which as I am sure you know is the public talk and the Watchtower study.

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    kero-kero, you have a pm.
    tall penguin

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    Thanks for that Kero

    I too had a friend in the truth who's wife and sister in laws were sexually abused their father. He wasn't disfellowshipped either but he did end up going to prison for it. Upon his release he was under orders not to go near the girls or Pete's wife again as part of his parole. He broke this, went along to a Sunday morning meeting and my mate hit him. Pete got DF'd for thumping the man that had been having sex with his wife since she was 11 but the father got off scott free.

  • Kero-kero
    Kero-kero

    Call me daft tall panguin...but what does pm mean? The only pm I know of refers to the afternoon

    Dr Jekyll. That just sums up the whole attitude of the WTS..."Your a child abuser...thats ok...we don't mind...But you...Yes you...you defended your family from the said sex abuser by punching him...sorry mate...but we have to DF you" I mean...that is just disgusting....

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Kero,

    pm = 'personal message' in your inbox.

    Great story BTW.

  • Forscher
    Forscher

    Sounds familiar Kero.
    I I've seen a few of those things myself. A young woman disfellowshipped for fornication on the strength of rumors spread by the elders themselves (so much for the "two witness" rule). Several rape victims disfellowshipped unjustly. Not much surprises me anymore about what elders do. The "scriptural divorce" thing really burns me up at times. I had a friend who's husband divorced here and took up living with another woman. Even though it was obvious what was going on the elders refused to accept anything less than the sister seeing her ex having sex in order for her to be free to remarry (and that wasn't happening). Soon, she started showing some intrest in another man. She was harrassed and hounded by the elders and others in the congregation and finally disfellowshipped on the flimsiest of evidence. so I am in full sympathy with your brother on that one.
    Xuda hafiz, Kero sahib,
    Forscher

  • Genesis
    Genesis

    Thanks for sharing Karo. Can you explain me what is exactly the "Jadoo" ? Is it like puting curse on people and worshipping Lucifer, a kind of cult itself ?

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