I've had it. I want to DA myself (page 3)

White Waves

Thank you, everyone for your posts. I was angry when I posted the topic and your responses helped me see the WBTS only has the power I give them. Also, DF, DA, all the same, really. I guess for now I will sort his out and live my life. NOW I HAVE A LIFE. I do think I will still DA myself, but not until I speak with my phychiatrist (yes, I need one) in 2 weeks. I will send the letter to all of the elders (including my father) and I will send it to my last congregation too, so I won't be denied DAing a second time. Thanks again. This site has saved me, healed me and help me move on so much. I really don't know where I would be without it. Love - WW

geevee

I dont get it. You requested to DA and they refused. As far as you're concerned, you already DA'd. It is their bad luck if they refused it. You already did. And you sound like you are being treated accordingly. If it was me, I would consider myself out of there.

mkr32208

Joe-that is a ROCKIN idea!

White Waves

But no announcement was made and the elders (where my dad is an elder) are pursuing ways to DF me. That is why I want to DA myself to close this chapter on my life and keep my power - It comes down to F them. Seriously. I need to just move on. The JW family members that shun me are dead to me. If they chose to change their minds I will welcome them but I am not expecting any changes.

Fleur

Um, guys, I have to offer another experience here...somebody (forgive me I forgot who LOL) said

How can they do that? If you write a letter saying you reject the teachings of the WTS and no longer consider yourself a JW, then you are DAd. Period.

I wrote that letter. They ignored it and announced me as df'd when I refused to meet with the j~~udicial committee~~ kangaroo court. If your family is too high-profile or your exit is too scandalous, then they will choose to ignore your DA letter.

The PO's DIL was not going to be allowed to quit, she had to be fired. It still irks me a bit. I went out on my terms, not theirs, and people don't know it.

essie

who quit before she was freaking fired, already!

seattleniceguy

WW,

There is a difference between DF and DA. In one, you're the helpless victim of a kangaroo court. In the other, you say, "I hereby resign from your organization." I heartily disagree with those who say that DA'ing is "playing by their rules." It isn't. If the reason you wanted to DA is that you wanted to make a statement, then there is real value in it for you as a person.

The Society has tried to take that power away from people who leave by homogenizing the two announcements. But there is a very simple way of making sure that the DA still has its full face-value. Simply send a letter to everyone in your congregation (or to the people who you know well) in which you make it clear that you are resigning from the organization because of conscientious reasons. The organization did not meet your standards, not vice versa.

Those are my two cents. Please take them with a grain of salt and do what is right for your particular situation. Best wishes.

SNG

spawn2u

DF is the cleanest way out. No strings left attached. There is the side effect of loosing ones family.

sass_my_frass

Hey hon. It's such a tough call, but you've got to go with your gut. Actually I was DF'd and still don't have closure, because for a while I thought I wanted to be reinstated, and everybody in my life still awaits that. When I feel ready I'll let them know I'm not coming back, but it's such a traumatic process. I've recently realised what a long way I have to go.

I've had fun picturing myself at the hall for my df announcement, 'Sass is no longer a JW', and me standing up, giving them all the bird, and walking out saying 'thanks, losers!'. It would be counterproductive though, to wanting not to look like a complete trip. Still it's how I feel about it now. On some levels I wish I'd not given them the power of firing me, and on other levels I wish I didn't think they had any power over me at all, by needing to write an official 'I quit' letter to get out of their club with dignity.

People here have gone each way, and it's been for their own reasons. Whatever you choose to do will come to you of it's own. Trust in your ability to direct your own life.

cyberdyne systems 101

My own reaction was to not play by their rules so I just left. Later I came here and realised how healthy it was to write a letter to formally terminate your association with them. I can see many people gained satisfaction from doing so.

Because I just walked away, they later found reason to disfellowship me. They found out where I was living and tried to invite me to a judicial hearing, which I refused. I felt that they were trying to control me still, now I cant give a rats arse about it, but I would still have loved to have stuck up the proverbial two fingers by me doing the terminating not them.

CS 101

White Waves

I really like the idea of writing the letter to the elder body AND congregation families. That way, I know the truth will be known about this elder body, my loser family and my husband (divorce final in july!!!!) will not look so perfect anymore. I will work on the letter and gather the needed adresses. I feel empowered already!!!

WW

I've had it. I want to DA myself

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