Happy Freaking mother's day to me...when your mom is crazy as a loon.

by Fleur 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  katiekitten

  Essie - im so sorry for you, that is truly terrible.

  Your mum is just mentally ill, she cant help it, and she doesnt know it. She might have been mentally ill without the GodSquad feeding her illness with off the shelf delusions, who knows, but it cant have helped.

  Theres no reason why you will end up the same, you arent in the BibleBashers feeding your mind reality bending crap. You are fully aware of your mental health. If you do end up mentally ill it wont be your mums brand of religious crap trap, it will just be normal common or garden type - forgetting names, switching the oven on then going to feed the pidgeons, wearing gardening boots to the supermarket.

  You cant deal with your mum unless you are a fully qualified health expert with drug dispensing powers. Just visiting and listening to her is only ever going to upset you and leave you feeling powerless. I guess the only suggestion that means you can actually DO something is the one to get her certified and put in a mental hospital.

  Its like visiting someone with leprosy and having to watch them disintegrate horribly infront of your eyes. Either you stop going to watch the horror, or you find some medication that can help. If there is no medication, I guess the next best thing is for you to spend some time with your dad on his own, give him some relief.

  Best wishe with this horrible problem.
• 

  Lady Lee

  ((((Fleur))))

  I would highly recommend talking to a professional about this. They may choose to do an evaluation at the hospital for a few days And you and your father may have to have her committed to do that. It would be hard but it might be the best and most caring thing you can do for her and for your father.

  I know some cities have emergency crisi lines where crisis workers will come into the home and do a quick assessment and if they think needed will get the person to the hospital. I believe a 72 hr commitment for evaluation purposes is often the norm.

  If during the evaluation they determine that she is not responsible enough to make her own decisions they will make the decision for her despite her protests. Check the front page of the phone book to see if your city has such a service - usally called Crisis Line.

  The last thing you want to do is wait until she has hurt herself or someone else. Talk it over with your father and see if he will agree.

  Blues: While I agree this is not a WT-induced mental health problem, the beliefs of the WTS do nothing to help and can often make an existing problem worse
• 

  troubled mind

  Your mother needs professional help . She can not make the rational decision for this right now it is up to you and your Father to get her help ! My grandmother had schizophrenia , before medication she was paranoid and became violent with hallucinations. After treatment as long as she stayed on meds she was sweet , kind and easy to be around . It is not her fault it is a SICKNESS and it is up to the healthy people in her life to get her HELP .Grandma had to be commited for her own good . It's not an easy decision , but it is loving and responsable.
• 

  rebel8

  If you're in the US, police can take someone in for a mental health evaluation against their will if they are a danger to themselves. She just caught the kitchen on fire and is refusing to eat/drink enough to keep her body working properly = danger to herself. Both of those things occurred because of her mental illness not her religion--an important distinction if you're going to talk to authorities, who probably wouldn't be allowed to intervene if it was just unusual religious practices.

  The authorities make the decision to commit the person ~ just mentioning that because it often is a relief to relatives who don't want to be the ones to blame for involuntary hospitalizations......but.....someone would need to call the cops & that is the caveat.

  Of course, someone could call the police from a payphone & claim to be a delivery guy who found an emaciated woman setting fire to her kitchen & raving about the demons.....good luck with whatever you decide.

  (All of this is pertaining to US procedures only.)
• 

  Soledad

  Holy crap Es. The way you describe your mother can easily describe mine.......somewhat. It's only a matter of time I guess.

  Sorry
• 

  Fleur

  Thank you everyone...I mostly just needed to be heard, and your input is appreciated more than you know.

  Gary, as always your one-sentence hits the heart of the matter.

  My mother knows that she needs help. She says she would rather die than take their 'demon medications'. My father will not have her committed. I have tried, begged, pleaded, over years and years for them to do so. She hasn't been to a doctor in more than a decade because the last time she went in they tried to hold her on an 3 day hold.

  There is much more to the story than I can tell her, other members living in the house with mental illnesses too; and my father just isn't able to stand up to her and he has told me he 'won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do."

  The only thing I can do, overall, is to stay away from her (making sure she has what she needs, of course to the best of my ability) and keeping my child at a distance from her.

  I have repeated to myself over and over that the only person I can change is me, but if the day comes that I have to care for her all the time, I will be making her see someone. Right now, my older sister has power of attorney, I think that the reason my mom won't put me on the paperwork is because she knows I would get her to a professional.

  hugs to everybody

  essie
• 

  delilah

  (((((((((((((((( Fleur )))))))))))))))))
• 

  Double Edge

  I'm sorry that Mother's Day is such a damper on you because of your mother's illness.

  I see all my siblings heading at breakneck speed down the same road into little worlds of their own that make sense to no one and mean nothing outside their own skulls. Am I doomed to follow?

  No, you're not doomed to follow. My sister-in-law had the same problem with her mother, who passed on about five years ago. During the last couple of years, her mother totally lost it and was put on medication which really helped and made the situation manageable. Her mother used to answer the door with a clothespin on her tongue (whatever)...

  The point is, my sister-in-law who was very stressed out, not only because of the situation, but because of her workload and life in general, truly felt she was 'losing it' and starting the downward spiral of what her mother was. My SNL found out that she had a hormone deficentcy and a chemical imbalance. She started an exercise and yoga class (for stress) and was put on all-natural supplements and it completely turned her life around. Her holistic doctor told her that just the fact that she was worrying about becoming like her mother was contributing to the depression and negative emotional feelings in her life....in other words, she was emotionally self-fulfilling what she was worrying about. She's in her fifties and everything is normal now.

  As far as your siblings, it sounds like they are a product of their environment rather than genetics.

  Feel better.... CHOOSE to rise above it... do what you can, but take care of yourself and your life.
• 

  greendawn

  From what you are saying she seems to be a recluse, a prisoner in her house, do you think the JW experience has to do with it, that fear of the demons for example?
• 

  Poodles

  essie

  In the words of my faith "God bless you" and i pray for you and you entire family!!

  Poodles/Paula