The elder Machine!

by free2beme 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    I was thinking about THX 1138 the other day, and it got me to thinking how much the society would benefit from this movie. In the movie, the people are so drugged up that when they go into these booths to discuss their problems, they have no clue that it is just a machine that gives canned answers and is not thinking or reacting to them. Basically, you say, "I feel lost and depressed" and it responds "you are a beautiful person" and "you are happy." The people just accept these comments and line up to listen to them. So why not do this in the Kingdom Halls. You could have a little booth in the corner and people could go in to discuss their problems.

    There would be four buttons,

    1. "You should read the Bible more"

    2. "Pray about this one"

    3. "Read the Watchtower and Awake from cover to cover, and prepare for and attend all meetings."

    4. "You should expect this in the last days, the Devil is out to get you"

    As you ask questions, you hit the buttons and these comments come out.

    "I am feeling a sense of doubt in the organization" .... 1 and then 3

    "My children are starting to have problems" ... 2, but also 3

    "How can I make more time to Pioneer" ... 2, and then 3

    "I noticed that the Watchtower often conflicts with itself" ... 2 (Small alert is noted and sent via e-mail to PO)

    "Why does the organization put so much importance of not reading material against them" ... 2, and 4 (Elder receives additional e-mail)

    "Why did Bother Smith get disfellowshiped for smoking, and sister Alan was never counseled or disfellowshipped for overeating when they both are known causes of early deaths" ... 2,3 (Red alert e-mail is sent to elder)

    "Why does all your answers sound so impersonal and canned?" ... 2,3 (Screen goes blank, and comes back with YOU ARE DISFELLOWSHIPED .... HAVE A NICE DAY)

    See how simple that would be and no longer would you need elders acting like they never have enough time in the day to get all those canned responses to all the people in their congregations. Plus, it would give them some notes on how people are talking and it would allow them to clean the flock faster and with more effienciency?

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    Haha, that's brilliant! Maybe they could go to a points system for field service hours, too. A computer program could compute points and spit out a receipt!

    Example: Rang bell at 10 doors = 100 Paradise tokens

    Rang bell and launched into sales spiel twice = 500 Sover-Reigns.

    Rang bell, squawked entire pitch 3 times today = Armageddy survivor!

    Sorry, stressful day at work, feeling silly!

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    This would be better than an elder giving his own opinion on matters.

  • mustang
    mustang

    AUTO-eLDER-BOT!!!

    Mustang

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    or ...elder-maton.

    Maybe we can steal the idea from the movie "Westworld" and have human-like elder robots, and the only way you'd know they weren't robots was by looking at their hands.

  • free2beme
    free2beme

    In many ways, religion is an example of people repeating the same advice over and over for hundreds of years without any background stronger then faith only.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Excellent free2berne, I am still laughing. Most dubs wouldn't notice the answers were canned though.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Brillant!

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    Awesome! I'd order one for the Hall and 1 for each bookstudy location. This would save so much time in shepherding calls.

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