I contacted my Elder father and mom...

White Waves

After 8 mos of shunning acknowledged by familia and friends, I contacted my Elder Dad - Mike, and he put my mommy on the phone for support - she was never the touchy feely type - more the depressed secluded type. I wanted to know if my Dad had ANY REASON why I shouldn't send my official DA letter to 2 congregations and parishioners (since my first request was DENIED). He told me they then could have no contact with me, instead of limited contact.... I told them my JW family has had NO CONTACT with me SINCE OCTOBER and I did not even receive an invite to my baby sister's wedding in December- who I raised and cared for for 3 1/2 years while my mother was in a depression and had health problems. No call backs from bros and sisters- told my non-jws that Elder DAD ordered the shunning of me. My dad (elder) told me I was shunning Jehovah - doomed to death.... He told me my Aunt and Grandma lied when they told me that Daddy was angry at them for not shunning me like he had and everyone else and that I would have crawled back if not for my non-JW family that broke his rules... He said that I will eventually crawl back regardless of non-JW family and that I am weak and sinful and my siblings are lucky I am out of their lives. I asked Where would Methodists come up with this terminology?? My boyfriend can't wait to slam my a**-hole elder dad... so I gave my Elder Dad David's cell number. I hope this is not a huge mistake. If anything, I hope it makes our relationship even better. David has wanted for SOOOOOO long to tell my dad off. He wanted to do it face-to-face but this shunning sh** fu**ed that up. This should be still be good though... Meanwhile, I am finalizing my lette and trying to get a few addresses. . I can't see any benefit in not sending it. Do I want to spend years defending and justifying my choices? How does that help me move on? And it will not change anybody else's view. I have placed my faith in God. David wants so bad to tell my dad to F off and tell my dad his cult, physical/emotional abuse and control is evil. I fear that somehow my father will make David stop loving me. I am scared. But I am trying to believe in God and that he will help me and guide me. Many on this site don't believe in God - but I do. I just hope that I can keep up with the turmoil that is about to hit my life and that I won't drown in it. If I survive it and David survives it - we will be free to start anew. Please... wish us the best and any advise or experiences are welcome - All on this site have helped me in so many ways!! David has started to explore this site and has felt so welcome and understood. I hope he creates a sign-on and avatar and learns more. Regardless, he is eager to come to the Apostabeercheesefest!!! He wants to meet others like him in relationships with exjws and exjws like me :) LOVE WW

seesthesky

sorry to hear about your tough situation

free2beme

Just some personal advice, about family and contact with them from those we love. It is not always best to have them tell your father to F off, even when it would really feel like the best thing to do. Mainly, no matter what in life, even with this whole sick Witness thing, family is still family and in some sad joke on life, they tend to surface from time to time (funerals, weddings or other gatherings you are all going to be at some time). If you want your father to even remotely take your life serious with someone, or just your life as a whole. Having someone face him and say "F-off" is always going to be something he remembers and justifies as the reason to feel he is right and you are wrong. Trust me, I have had moments like that in my past too, and every day, I am glad I made the better choice to think it and not say it. Just some advice.

Highlander

I agree with 'Free'

I think it's better to take the high road and show behaviour that is better than the jw's. Later it could be enough of a seed to get some of the j-dubs to think and realize they are

not better than the 'world' and in fact may even be worse than the 'world'

Though I must say, it's hard to hold back from saying what you really want to say. Trust me, I hold back every day and it's tough!!

Ariel84

Hi WhiteWaves

I'm so sorry about everything your going throughI don't feel qualified to dispense advice here as I'm just sorting everything out in my own life but, I hope everything works out well for you.

Ariel

jwfacts

All the best with your choice.

I feel DAing is the best. It will be a huge relief to you. Since you are already being shunned you have nothing to loose, and at least this way you can at least understand why you should be shunned, and allow you to move on in your life without the baggage of trying to get your family to talk to you.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi WW, I am so sad to hear what you are going through. It's the price any exiting jw pays when they still have family in, I'm afraid. I feel the best thing you can do is da and move on with your life. They will leave you alone then.

Good luck!!

Linda

mjarka911

Hello White Waves

I also feel its better to go your own way without the bitterness. I DA'd myself and actually wish I didn't. At the time - I didn't want to give them the power to DF me, but after being on the board a while, I like the approach of moving on and not letting them bait me into buying into their system of membership. Elders who have snooped around and tried to confront people on this board about their beliefs have looked ridulous!

As this religion deteriorates, maybe others of your family and friends will come around and you don't want to hand them an artifical barrier to this by DA'ing yourself.

Good luck!

Matt

schne_belly

WW

Isn't it strange...the weird things this ~~religion~~ cult makes people do. Including yourself.

Hope everything works out for you and David. Sometimes, its tough to know what to do. Hang in there!!

See you at the "fest"!!!!!

greendawn

I noted that expression your JW dad used that you will crawl back to them, I am sure you will not do that and I can't see any reason why you will not get on with David and forget the JWs.

I contacted my Elder father and mom...

Share this