Thank you everybody for answering with dignity a question I asked in a tipsy stupor. I'm not sure where I stand on the faith scale but have currently settled on a scenario in which God is a highly distant and incomprehensible force powerful enough to work through creative improbabilities but not very interested in the welfare of it's creation.
I do wonder why Athiests ask questions about good and bad. On what basis does an athiest determine what is good?
That's a good question, but an atheist would need to answer it.. still we grew up in countries which have a highly defined legal system and in absence of a god, that would probably be the higher authority that found it's way into their conscience. Helping = good; hurting or stealing = bad.
There's nothing especially wrong in my life at this time besides the shunning; my question wasn't so much about me than about economic inequity, drought, violence.... yesterday I got an email from a lady on the Fijian island that Mr Frass and I were working on last year installing some wind and solar gear, and it reminded me of all the women there; good passive wives entirely enslaved to their husbands and elders and the hybrid communist-methodist-monarchist governance that keeps them locked into it. "God is pleased when you work hard to give things to your elders". It really only applies to the women though; the men don't do anything that is tedious or non-creative or that doesn't make them look important, they prefer to blow their money on kava and be King Shyte of Turd Hill.
I've gotten into a bit of a depressive loop about the oil wars and the fact that you can distance yourself from it as much as you like, but as soon as a madman decides he wants to use a nuke, it's your problem too. I remembered a time I was arguing about Jehovah and Why Good Things Happen To Bad People when I was very fresh and hanging out with a guy I now realise was just trying to get into my pants. He couldn't because he wouldn't accept that Bad Things Happen To Good People because Satan is in charge of things on earth at this time, and Jehovahs going to fix things soon. He told me that I have a very lucky God; he gets the credit for the good stuff but is not responsible for the bad stuff. It was one of the many things that finally got me out of the cult.
I guess I now hover around the assumption that IfTheresAGod it doesn't care what we do, whether we put faith in it, who we hurt.... to be honest I don't think a creature that so wilfully destroys creation and itself is it's chosen one.