It's My Turn

by Life Is Grand 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Life Is Grand
    Life Is Grand

    Hi everyone,

    Another post from a newbie(who has been lurking around here for a couple of years now).

    My story is nothing exciting really. I grew up pretty much from the age of 3 or 4 in the JW Religion. My parents both became Witnesses at that time, then after a couple of years, my mother "saw the light", and stopped going, but my father dragged my sister and I along with him for many years to come. I never had any really bad experiences, or abuse due to the religion, but it was hard growing up in a divided household. My mom would put up the Christmas Tree, my dad would take it down...she would beg him to play Christmas Carols on the piano---he'd refuse...there'd be arguments or she would just feel neglected when he was out night after night going to meetings.

    The whole thing was never really in my heart-I didn't feel the passion, or need, to go door to door. I would go with my dad when guilted into it, then just stand(hide) behind him and pray that nobody I knew lived there. I never felt the desire to get baptised either-and for some reason(for which I'm thankful) my dad didn't push me. When I was about 18 or 19, I began experiencing the outside world and realized that life was alot more fun than I had been led to believe. So I basically laid it out to him one day-told him that it wasn't the way of life that I wanted, and I would no longer be attending meetings with him. Trust me, it was the hardest thing I had ever done, breaking my dads heart like that-but what a weight it lifted off my shoulders to finally tell him the truth after so many years.

    He took it very well-of course he was disappointed-but he never stopped being my dad...he actually became an elder a couple of years later and remained one until the day he passed away.

    That was pretty much it-from then on, I lived my "worldly" life-made many mistakes along the way(a very bad and abusive marriage was the biggest one).....but now, I have 3 beautiful children and I am married for the second time to a wonderful, wonderful man who makes me thankful every day that I'm alive. I feel so lucky to have broken free and been able to enjoy life instead of living a lie.

    Amazingly, though-- after having been out of the religion for over 20 years now, I still feel a twinge of guilt when I'm celebrating a birthday, or putting up the Christmas tree. There has always been that nagging little doubt in my mind, "What if....they were right?". That's why when I stumbled across this website I found it so helpful. I see that others have those doubts too-and I find it makes such a difference to know that there are others out there who are in the same boat as me.

    Okay, so I've rambled on enough. I really just wanted to finally throw my two cents in and get to know everyone(I feel like I already know a few of you)...

    PJ

  • shangri-la
    shangri-la

    WELCOME

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    welcome LIG-

    isn't it amazing the way those doubts and guilt can linger?

    I'm happy for you that you found this board. it will probably be very helpful for you.

    -freedomlover

  • KW13
    KW13

    Welcome!

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420


    Great story...... thanks for sharing....And Welcome....

    lisa

  • Mystery
    Mystery

    Welcome to the board.

    Isn't life grand!

  • Emma
    Emma

    Welcome to the forum! I carried some of those doubts quietly within me until I found this board and benefited by all the experience and research.

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    Hello and welcome

    thanks for sharing

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    Welcome to the board! It helps a lot, doesn't it. I too have to shake off the ingrained fear sometimes, even after being out many years,

    How are your parents doing? Are they still together?

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    Hi, LIG. Regarding your lingering doubts: I wonder if that's a result of being in the religion since early childhood. Like you, I was dragged to meetings by my parents but I was in my early teens when the JW thing started. Like you, the religion never really "took," and I left in my mid-20s. Unlike you, I have absolutely no lingering doubts, none. I'm wondering if the earlier in life the WTS gets hold of you, the more residual guilt you have. Thoughts, anybody?

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