Do you think a JW childhood is abusive?

by Konrad West 66 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  juni

  I have 4 adult children who were all raised in the org. IT DID AFFECT THEM. Even as adults there are issues they have as to how to deal with things. Like an alcoholic who doesn't grow emotionally likewise w/JW kids. They have to learn how. And some never do.

  They missed having a "normal" childhood. They remember having to act like "little adults". They missed out on all the things other kids take for granted.

  God, I wish I could have a do over with my kids so that they could've taken full advantage of normal childhood enjoyment. Not all of the mtgs., assemblies, and f. service. The Israelites had their festivals so many times a year and they gathered their little ones, but they didn't have 5 mtgs. a week plus all of the rest.

  Juni
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  Robdar

  Being indoctrinated with the concept of Jehovah killing people who don't do what he says and being scared of losing your friends and family if disobedient is, in my view, a very unhealthy thing for a child. Any thoughts?

  I don't see how what we were taught about an abusive, vengeful God is any different than what other Christians, especially the fundie Christians, teach their children. How come so many of them do not turn out as screwed up as we did? Most JW parents that I know have/had awful parenting skills. They are the ones that are abusive and they excuse their actions as being Bible based.
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  plmkrzy

  When I was a Witness kid, I thought the Catholic kids had it much rougher than I did. I still think some did. I could eat a hamburger on Friday. Some of the Dutch Reformed couldn't have TV, just radio. Mennonite kids had to wear home made clothes with no metal used on the clothes. I thought I had a pretty liberal life compared to those groups. Then I saw the Amish.

  I felt the same way as Gary on this subject.

  I grew up around kids from different backgrounds and some I felt REAL sorry for more then I ever felt sorry for myself.

  Example: No TV allowed in the house, no pictures allowed on the walls. Girls could not wear pants. There are some extreme religions out there and I would guess jws are perhaps in the top 20, if I had to make a guess.

  We were abused growing up because my dad was an asshole. He found a religion that made him feel justified being an asshole. He abused his authority as a father and husband and used/misused the WT to validate his attitude.

  I do believe it really depends on the parents and how they teach their children to handle/carry themselves regardless of what type of “borg” they grow up in.

  plm
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  juni

  Robdar -

  Fundamentalists still can have fun. Holidays, b/days, etc. They have other crazy beliefs, but I don't think they isolate themselves so much.

  plmkrzy - I agree. JW religion meets the needs of those men who love that "authority" over the women. I saw so many examples of that in different cong.

  Juni
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  Robdar

  JW religion meets the needs of those men who love that "authority" over the women. I saw so many examples of that in different cong.

  I agree, Juni. I think it also meets the needs of women who love for men to have "authority" over them. I think about all the nonsensical beatings that my siblings and I received from my father. My mother never defended us because her husband had authority over her. How convenient.
• 

  sf

  Simply, yes.

  Much of the abuse I endured was of spirituality. Then, mentality. Which thusly, damaged some emotional components.

  I'd rather not get into the physical aspects of the abuse.

  sKally
• 

  juni

  Most JW parents that I know have/had awful parenting skills.

  That is true to a degree Robdar. Were you parenting children in the org.? I'll tell you what. You're walking a fine line with what they expect from you as a parent and what your ideas are. If you want God's favor for the family including the kids, because as you know your children are "covered by your righteousness" when they are minors, then you have to follow their guidelines and that is pounded into to you. Who wants their family wiped out at Armageddon?

  This is a real sore spot for me w/this posted topic. No fault of the poster mind you. You can take away good or bad from learning from YOUR parents' parenting skills. In my case I would not follow my mother's example. If anything I went too far the other way to make-up for the abuse I experienced.

  I feel there are a lot of poor parenting skills being practiced today regardless of religion.

  Juni
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  Robdar

  That is true to a degree Robdar. Were you parenting children in the org.? I'll tell you what. You're walking a fine line with what they expect from you as a parent and what your ideas are. If you want God's favor for the family including the kids, because as you know your children are "covered by your righteousness" when they are minors, then you have to follow their guidelines and that is pounded into to you. Who wants their family wiped out at Armageddon?

  Nope, I didn't bring my kid up in the org. The excuses of walking a fine line are simply that, excuses. Excuses for not thinking for yourself and giving the WTS permission to run your life and your childrens life.

  In my case I would not follow my mother's example. If anything I went too far the other way to make-up for the abuse I experienced.

  I did that too. My son says that I should have disciplined him more. He says that he is going to be much more strict with his child than I was with him.
• 

  juni

  I think it also meets the needs of women who love for men to have "authority" over them

  You're absolutely right. Also for people who want someone else to make decisions for them. I hate to admit to that one. I came from a family where this was the way I lived. It was my mother's way or no way. And I wanted her love so I did what she said. My Dad was whipped by her verbally and he allowed all of the crap to go on.

  I'm so happy to hear that your son wasn't raised a JW. PM me if you want. There are things I don't want to say on the board.

  Juni
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  Satanus

  Robdar

  I don't see how what we were taught about an abusive, vengeful God is any different than what other Christians, especially the fundie Christians, teach their children. How come so many of them do not turn out as screwed up as we did?

  The difference is that, to fundie christians, god isn't just the vengeful record keeper of the ot. He is also jesus, who loved and hung out w sinners. Thus, fundie christians actually have a different god than do jws. Jws do not even recognise the kind, loving jesus as their mediator to the vengeful god (ok, they do in prayer, but that's all. Wt doctrine says he is only mediator to 144k). R&f jws are not christains. They are wt org followers. The org is their is their mediator w the wt god. S