What most surprised you about your life after leaving the ORG?

by logansrun 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  Finally-Free

  For instance, gossip: pretty much the same outside as well as in, in my experience

  I think the gossip appears worse among the JWs because it's more of a closed society. Everyone knows everyone else, so there's always sonething to talk about, and the dirt is so much more entertaining to discuss. But I found that in any close circle of "friends" the gossip can be just as bad, or even worse.

  I didn't find that making friends was harder outside the JWs - I found it easier. That may be because I joined the JWs as an adult, and never really fit in with them in the first place.

  People are pretty much just as screwed up outside the org as inside it. I've heard so many talk about how many JWs are depressed, alcoholics, etc. As I've noticed, this is a trend outside just as much as in.

  Yes, people have the same problems either way. But when JWs first came to my home and studied with my family, we were led to believe that JWs didn't experience the same problems as "worldly" people because their "pure worship" protected them from a lot of life's problems. If I had been using my head, I would have realized the falsehood of that within the first few months of my association with them, and left. Hindsight is great.

  What surprised me the most about myself is the length of time I was angry about the experience. I never thought it would take this long, 3 years, but it's much better now. Many of the bad memories have faded, and stay faded as long as I don't read threads about abusive situations.

  W
• 

  Balsam

  Logansrun said: Most people are not all that interested in your story as a JW/ex-JW. It's just not that big a deal to them. (usually)

  I was so surprised to find that out. With being told by the WTBTS that we were on stage for the world as examples of what being Christian was finding out no one cared shocked me. Even today I still find it odd that people are not more interested in how cults operate. But the majority just have not thought about it nor have any opinion on the cults in American society today. That was a real eye opener to me.

  I was not raised a JW so getting out I don't believe was as hard as it was for so many raised with the mentality like my sons.
• 

  logansrun

  Interestng comments from everyone so far. Here is another item that I've been surprised about:

  -- Although most "worldly" people I've met have gone to college, not everyone is as financially successful and intelligent as one might naively expect a college education would bring, so-called "worldly fulfillment." The value of a BA has gone down considerably in the last fifteen to twenty years and MBAs are a dime a dozen. I've done well at school and have met some very intelligent people, but even among them there are plenty who are making peanuts while pursuing their PhD in Literature, and when they finish the jobs are nary to be found. In short, college does not necessarily equal success, at least from a financial point of view. (Quite strangely, some of the less glamorous career paths at two-year colleges -- where JWs mostly are "allowed" to attend -- actually are a better "deal" in a way: nurses, dental assistants, auto repairmen all make more than your average four year college graduate, at least to start.)

  B.
• 

  lonelysheep

  Having joined as adult, what surprised me after leaving was the realization that my thinking had forever been changed.

  It also suprised me just how manipulating people can be.
• 

  franklin J

  hi Bradly

  In my experiences "outside" the Watchtower; I generally found people far more positive, supportive and open.There were those who were genuinely interested in my JW background; others did not care. Most profound to me was a good "wordly" college friend who said to me " we want to be your friend no matter what religion you are". Those words were literally a catharsis for me.

  And most importantly there was never a "cap" on when things could be accomplished. As a JW, everything was prefaced with " well, Armegeddon will come by then" or silly comments like " dont get married or have kids until after the new world".

  Fairytales.

  Life on the "outside" has been good. Better then anticipated....I suppose there really was a "new world " out there; I just had to find it.

  As for the no-gooders; yes, I encountered them outside as well as inside the JWs. My response was " if I could do my time with the JWs; I can handle you.".
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  minimus

  Jfranklin, how the hell are you????????? Good to seeya !
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  greendawn

  I wasn't surprised by anything since I was a "worldly" person until the age of 19 so I pretty much knew the landscape outside the WTS.
  
  To put it in short things are not nearly as bad as the JWs make out, there are all sorts of people from saintly to beastly but one can very easily find decent people to socialise with. On the other hand one has to look out for suspicious characters and avoid them.
  
  At the end of the day the world is what you make of it, take the good and leave the bad.
• 

  Champion

  My top 10 listof what surprised about life out of the Org.

  10. Jw's are the most negative people on earth.

  9. Nobody's trying to persecute JW's.

  8. Smurfs are not demonized, nor is anything else.

  7. The hypocrisy of the Watchtower is Bigger than I ever imagined.

  6. Apostates are really COOL and very very SMART.

  5. Many religious people know more about the bible than JW"S.

  4. JW's really don't care if you leave, but their jealous so they try to screw you.

  3. Life is just so GOOD.

  2. Celebrating holidays is really Fun.

  1. There is no TRUTH to the "truth".
• 

  logansrun

  Another personal observation that was somewhat surprising: I don't necessarily feel any happier or unhappier overall when comparing my JW as oppossed to my ex-JW life. Certain aspects of my life I am happier about (ex: intellectual freedom, less guilt, etc) and certain aspects I am a little unhappier about (ex. less social life, occassional feelings of unstructuredness, apprehension over world conditions). Overall, my experience has been that happiness has more to do with biology than with being part of a religion or not. (Of course, everyone's experience will be different in this regard).

  B.
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  franklin J

  Champion:

  thank you for my chuckle for the day!

  your post is SO VERY TRUE and made me laugh!