J.W. relatives- ignorant or arrogant

by Cabin in the woods 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    My husband has a sister (Lori) pioneer and her hubby (Mike) elder who have never had any respect for my husband or myself. Even when we were going to meetings they overstepped their parameters constantly. Demanding personal information and not honoring a simple request to not 'drop in' whenever they get a whim.

    The last part has gotten worse since we moved to the family homestead which is owned by both kids and both step kids... my fil is still living and is now 91. It has been agreed for many years that when dad dies we will step up and buy the home immediately even if it means selling our apartment house. We can not buy while he is alive as he does not like the step daughter and refuses to see her get a penny. Thus the agreement by all parties to wait til he is gone and then it gets split equally.

    Perhaps the fact that they own a part explains their sudden attitude of absolute empowerment. We have even had an arguement with them over this a couple of years ago of course it changed nothing. Mike feels he is an elder and thus does not have to honor such small requests but this past week end is the worst ever.


    Yesterday my husband and I put on a b b q for some of the clients at his agency who had nothing to look forward to for the whole week end. While we were all sitting and eating Mike and Lori come storming in and announce that they heard from dad that we were not going to be home at all that afternoon! Hhhhmmm, so what is the purpose of their coming here then? Looking for apostate literature?? Did the elders send them? Going through personal property???? The home locks but the garage/barn does not and they know the trick of getting in the house from when grandma and grandpa were living here.

    I have been just seething !
    It is hard to sit here and keep a civil tonue in my head.

    Cab

  • KW13
    KW13

    surely its illegal for them to do that

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Sometimes, JW's in their zeal to keep the congregation clean and to help spiritually weak ones fail to realise that the law protects others from harrassment and trespassing.

    Take out a restraining order against them.

  • OpenFireGlass
    OpenFireGlass
    they heard from dad that we were not going to be home at all that afternoon!

    You could always play like you won't be at home one weekend... Just make sure you're in your birthday suit, so if they show up....

    or you could get one of these...

  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    I am beginning to think along that vein. But my husband is totally opposed to saying or doing anything against his family even though they are overstepping. Uugghh.

    BTW ... I absolutely adore pit bulls!!! They are some of the smartest dogs I have ever met.

    Yours are adorable. Give them pats and hugs from me!

    Cab

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    Give them a final warning. Make sure they know it's the final warning. If they trespass again, call the cops.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Cabin, from your narrative do I understand that this is your BIL and his wife and that they have part ownership of the property where you live? If that is the case, a no trespassing sign might not apply in this situation. I would check with a lawyer about what your privacy rights are under these circumstances. If I understand too, your FIL is still the legal owner of this property. If so, it sounds like this is a hard situation.

    Blondie

  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    Blondie,

    Dad signed it over to 3 of the 4 siblings about 7 years ago. He got mad at the step daughter about 46 years ago and never forgave her! This is a very stubborn, harsh family.

    But, in reference to your question no, dad does not own this place.

    cab.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Does the BIL that "drops in" have part ownership? If he does, then that is probably why he presumes that he can drop in unannounced and be let in.

    Just curious...if so...he might feel he has the legal right to do so...then he would ignore a "no trespassing" sign.

    I take it that your husband lets him in?

    Sounds like a bad situation.

    Blondie

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    In response to the 'Ignorant or Arrogant' question...

    Both. But arrogance is stronger.

    -Aude.

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