I completely agree. I'm 36, and I just started college a couple months ago, and I'm so happy I did. I was very smart in school, but I was so shy, and had no friends other than a few 'friends' in the congregation. I was depressed, and wasn't allowed to do much of anything. I wanted to be in the Chamber Choir at my high school (I tried out and was accepted), but was not allowed to because of all the performances on meeting nights, and the extra association with 'worldly' people. I wanted to take drafting, but wasn't allowed to because I would have been the only girl in the class (?) plus dad said it was pointless because not only could he not afford college for me but worldly education after high school was 'frowned' upon anyways. What a crock of sh--, right? I mean, did he think me and the guys in drafting class were going to have orgies in the classroom or something? jeez. I hadn't even been on a date yet! and the reason there was no money for college was because of his sucky job, and he never saved for anything. Not for college, not for retirement, nothing.
Okay, enough with the depressing stuff. The good part is, once I left the organization, (around 7 years ago) I started thinking differently about education. I love to read, love to learn. I went to BCTI, passed their rediculous Integrated Computer Applications course - the only thing I learned there was, to investigate a school before applying for a $10,000 loan to attend it, and I learned some PowerPoint, and some good info on business ethics. But at least I finished something I started, and actually got a certificate. Yeah! even my parents (still JWs) were slightly proud. Although of course it didn't help me find a decent job, just a crappy data entry job, but it was something, paid the bills. Moving on....
After a few office jobs, and no job for a while, I decided enough was enough, and I would apply for financial aid, and go to the local community college. I started out this quarter, with two classes, so I could keep up. And I love it! LOOOOOVE IT! If there is any way you can find to take some classes, even if it's just one class a quarter, I would highly recommend doing it. I have learned so much! not just academically. I've met some great people, and in Writing composition we have had some highly satisfying discussions and debates; I'm finally using my brain, and not wasting away all this supposed intelligence that I have, like I've been doing the past so many years. My plan is to get my A.A.S. degree, and either become a Librarian, a Teacher, or work in the Science field somehow.
Also, I just want you to know that I can understand your worry about your back pain - I'm a single mom, have diabetes, fibromyalgia, I'm half deaf, and wear glasses/contacts and still can't see very well, but I decided that I wasn't going to let that stop me anymore. :)
Good luck! and feel free to email me anytime about what's going on, if you'd like. :)
Karolyn - [email protected]