Chaperone rule.

Zico

The chaperoning rule has got to be one of the craziest rules the Society has come up with. Has anyone had a problem with it? I find most Congregations don't seem too strict on it, but my one is very strict. If any unmarried boy and girl are seen going out alone, they'll both be dragged into a meeting with the elders shortly after, even if they're not dating.

Even when I believed it was the Truth I thought this rule was silly. I always thought 'Where does it say that in the bible?' It was the only thing I disagreed with the Society on. I guess it should have made me realise sooner that if they had that wrong they could have had other things wrong as well.

It shows me now the control issues the Society has, and the lack of trust it has in it's members.

It's as if they think any occasion where a boy and girl goes out alone will end up in them having sex... Crazy thinking.

blondie

When I was a teenager, chaperones weren't a big deal. JWs who were under 18 dated too. But then I guess a few too many young unmarried sisters ended up pregnant and the wall came down; no more dating unless you were 18 and you had to have chaperones. Of course, no more unmarried sisters got pregnant after that.

I will say this, chaperones are not a WTS invention, I know several non-JW parents that expect some supervision.

Blondie

Highlander

That's true blondie, my jw parents dated during that same time when it was ok to pick up your girl on a motorcycle, taker her for icecream and bring her back home later.

Nobody blinked an eye at this. As long as the family invovled supported it, it was all good.

My favorite variation of the chaperone rule that makes me wanna puke is this: Two couples are not allowed to ride in the same car together,, there MUST be a fifth wheel to tag

along and make sure the two couples don't pull over and start bangin' on the hood of the car.

loosie

lol ahh this brings back the memories.

I was told by some brother not an MS or anything that he better not see me driving in a car with a man alone again. I was 23 years old. If I was going to have sex with that guy it wouldn't have been in a car.

That brother thought he had to watch out for me because my older brothers were df'd. Df'd or not my brothers could protect me just fine. I didn't need him.

Now in that same year I needed a ride to a party I rode ALONE with a MS. It was hisidea and told me I need to lighten up. I told him fine I agree but call off all the brothers harrassing me about it.

delilah

In my congregation, everyone had to have a chaperone, EXCEPT, if you were an elders child, or if you were an elder...one elder and his second-wife -to-be, thought nothing of going out places together, alone. This same man was the one who policed every young person in the hall.I thought it a stupid rule.

My mom grew up in the "world" and dated plenty of times with no chaperone, it was the normal thing to do, and there was no trouble. Go figure?!

loosie

my mother was allowed to visit "worldy" male neighbors and get drunk with them in their living room ALONE.

The only reason I can come up with why it was ok for her to do that is that she was 55 years old. Past the "BLOOM" of youth.

Whereas I was a young woman still inthe "bloom" of youth. So therefore I couldn't go in a car alone with a male.

Lady Lee

Ok My situation was a bit odd - no actually it was really really odd but:

In 1970 my mother arranged for me to marry a new JW. Well he wasn't actually baptized yet but she pushed him to get baptized. He started coming to the meetings in Feb and by the end of June my mother made these arrangements.

We had two "dates"

One was a skating party with half the cong. My mother set me up to "take care of him"

The other "date" was a movie and we had to take one of my younger brothers as chaperone.

The only other time we were alone was when we went to meet a minister to perform the wedding. At that time in Quebec, JWs did not have the legal right to perform weddings. We had the legal wedding on Friday night and the JW "wedding" on the Saturday.

Are you following this insanity?

Friday night I was legally married. My mother would not let me go home with my new husband. I had to wait until after the JW wedding to be alone with the new husband. After the Friday wedding the "bride" and "groom" and the best man and maid of honor went out for pizza (so still not alone) and then I was dropped off at my mother's home.

Not that I really minded not having to be with this almost stranger.

Yup from the end of Feb until the beginning of August. - record time for anyone in the hall to get married.

Perhaps getting to know him a bit better would have been a really good idea but mom set the rules

loosie

I heard of a similar situation. I knew a couple who were getting married. They were to have two wedding one in Peru and one in the U.S.

They brothers told them that they couldn't "BE" together until after the wedding in the U.S. even though they were already legally married in Peru.

How silly is that. They try to tell you when you can do it even after you are married?!!?!?!?!

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

The elders on one of my JC's told me the reason I "fell into sin" was because I had ridden in cars with male friends and no chaperones. Which is actually total bunk.

Lady Lee, that's terrible!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that complete and utter nonsense. I didn't realize that Jehovah's Witnesses practiced arranged marriages but it sure looks like they do.

Oh actually as I was typing this I remembered something. When I was engaged we discussed the possibility of having a small private wedding on Friday night and then a large reception on Saturday. Both sets of parents said if we ended up doing that we couldn't sleep together on Friday night. Which makes zero sense. An elder (the presiding overseer) was going to perform the ceremony even if it was on Friday so why couldn't we sleep together? We would have been married. I'm not even talking about sex; they said we could not share a bed until Saturday night.

It doesn't matter though becuase we did not get married. I just remembered how weird that line of reasoning was.

Elsewhere

Lady Lee,

Holy Crap! I've had nightmares like that, only I was able to wake up from them. If I were in you situation my nerves would have been totally shot.

My mother set me up to "take care of him"

Uhhh, may I ask exactly how you "took care of him"?

Chaperone rule.

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