This is it; I'm done!!

WingCommander

Yes, you heard me correctly. I was born in JW land. I didn’t do the fade – I didn’t have to. No one ever seemed to care about my salvation or well-being. It’s been on my mind for the past year to just come out and admit to myself that I’m no longer an un-baptized publisher nor do I want to be associated with the JW’s. Thing was, I just couldn’t let go. I wanted to hold on to that last little bit of hope that maybe somehow they were right, I was wrong, and that Jehovah would, “draw me near to Him” and save me. I’ve prayed. I asked for a sign, any sign. Going up to a Presiding Overseer that I’ve known my whole life at community fire hall and inviting myself to the Memorial and then having him drop off a pamphlet about it isn’t a sign in my book – it’s pathetic!

I’ve been lurking on this site once in a while since 2001, reading your stories and personal experiences. Since then, I’ve gotten married (to a nice worldly non-judgmental woman) had a son, and have had a life. Over the past 6 months though, I’ve really gotten into my JW beliefs and doctrines, policies and failed prophecies, as well as the history of the religion. I’d say the defining moment for me, the thing that really put absolutely everything together in a neat package and made me click inside – was a 20 year old video that I saw posted on here entitled, “Witnesses of Jehovah.” Now, I had read a little bit of Crisis of Conscience, but a chapter at a time, a little at a time, so I was familiar with a few things. But “Witnesses of Jehovah” nailed everything in 60 minutes. I actually said out loud, “If my parents would have been able to view this 20 years ago, they would have been floored.” Being raised a JW, you just assume and believe everything that is told to you is correct; after all, your parents are smart, right? As an adult I can now look at things from a different perspective and really investigate and dig into things. New research methods such as computers, the internet, and college databases have made this easier than 25 years ago of course, but still. For instance, the JW’s seem to have 2 different stances on the blood issue. The say they absolutely won’t take a blood transfusion, no matter what. Yet, at the same time they will take blood fractions which account for 97% of blood! This astounds me, and I’m floored by it. Why? Because as a JW youth it was constantly pounded into me that you “can’t be sitting on the fence, you are either with Jehovah or against Him.” Really? This seems to be the exception then, huh? I say, in for a bushel, in for a basket! How can you take even one drop of any part of blood, but then state you don’t take whole blood? Just ludicrous reasoning – what I have begun to call, “Circular Idiocy.”

But I digress; the blood issue is only the tip of the iceberg. How about measuring off of the pyramids? Masonic symbols everywhere? What about those old dates? 1874? 1914? 1918? 1925? 1975? New Light? The Millions Now Living campaign? Most JW’s think Rutherford was referring to millions of JW’s now living would never die, but that is untrue! He was referring to the millions of OTHERS that would be of good heart that would make it through and be taught AFTER Armageddon. A far cry from what we teach now. I never knew this until I researched it myself. All current JW’s just assume he was speaking about JW’s, not any “worldly” people. 1914 as the beginning of Christ’s presence and judgment of Christian religions? How about 1914 being the actual date of Armageddon? I never knew they believed that, along with many other end-time dates. I was floored to learn that. 607? I never even really knew what it was until I started researching 1914, and then all of the dominos fell one by one.
This makes them a false prophet in my book.

What about partaking of the emblems? Christ commanded everyone to keep doing it in remembrance of Him. If I’m not partaking but observing, then I’m not doing what I’m commanded to do, am I? He didn’t say, “Just observe this date from now on.” I still have never taken a communion. What about salvation by grace? I mean, I was supposed be out working my tail off to earn salvation, as only the 144,000 were good enough to earn God’s grace. How little did I know. Being a Christian witness means casting off your old worldly self and actions once you accept Jesus as your savior, not banging on doors the rest of your life. It means being a good Christian example and doing good Christian things, such as volunteer work, helping someone in need, etc. Like when my baptized father was dying of cancer, my so-called worldly neighbors brought food up for my family, but none of our JW friends even bothered to call. That’s what I call Christian love and making a shepherding call. The JW’s were all too busy out in the field ministry – which is also the answer for everything. Sick? Tired? Depressed? Someone in your family is ill or dying? Sounds like you need to get out in the field ministry more – it’ll build you right up!! What ludicrous bullshit! My mother was personally told that several times through our ordeal with my father – by Elders in the Kingdom Hall nonetheless! No real physical or spiritual help; just go out in the field ministry more and peddle the corporation’s magazines to be saved. What a lowly, vicious cycle it all was while life passed us by. I never had a childhood, and my parents slaved away a good portion of their lives, and for what? So my father could have a JW infomercial instead of a funeral to remember him? I’m now repulsed by JW funerals. How disgraceful to the one recently departed. Where is the love?

What about taking care of your flock? Your congregation’s basic needs to live in the wicked system of things? This is another issue that ate at me deeply. I am no way trying to be greedy, but what exactly do the JW’s do for their members? How do they take care of their flock? Nothing. When I compared what other religions gave in the form of services, I was astounded. Take for instance, Seventh Day Adventists. They have Sunday School for children, colleges, private schools, hospitals, support groups, outreach programs, retirement and nursing homes, and the list goes on and on. The WTBS only looks at the bottom line: how much money have you made US this year? Have you been out in the field ministry peddling our magazines enough?

Things brings me right into my next question that I’ve always had: if we are to be spreading the word that the end is “just around the corner,” and, “only a little while off,” then how come the JW’s don’t use every single resource in order to shout it from the rooftops? Why make Christ’s yoke a burden, when he clearly said His yoke was light? I mean, they could be using the Internet to publish everything online instantly, as well as using their Billion dollar$ a year profits to place ads in newspapers and also even have their own Cable Network as well as being syndicated on radio around the world. Even the poorest 3rd world countries have radio. I asked a brother this at the Kingdom Hall last year, and he drew a complete blank – he was speechless; he had never thought of that before. Why not pay to put the pamphlets in the newspaper? Through my adult eyes I now have the reason for this: they are a mind-numbing control oriented cult – period. There was a reason over 20 years ago why my Uncle and his wife told my parents to take the JW shit and get the hell out of their house. I understand now. They were tired of the constant droning and spouting off how they would die if they didn’t convert to the JW religion. It’s not that they didn’t love my parents; they just simply disagreed with the JW cult’s message. This is a thou-shalt-not religion based on this one simple concept: “Thou shalt not say, think, question, feel, act, wear, eat, vacation, or do anything else unless told to by us, or else God will be mad at you and you will die at Armageddon!”

So where does this leave me? With a message I have heard many times, “God draws those near whom he chooses”, and “Come, drink life’s water free.” I’m not going to say I have all of the answers like JW’s claim to, but I sure don’t believe that they do anymore either. I have started the process of looking for Christ, as he stated you would know his disciples by their love and good works. Since I’m not officially baptized, I don’t have to send in any letter or do anything. It doesn’t matter anyway since none of them seem to care, even though I did spend most of my life spouting off their beliefs and trying to fit in with them. Right now, I am trying to attend one church service of any of the Christian religions around me to get a feel for other things. So many times now I have seen different interpretations of scriptures that I never knew of before. This entire process of research, self-meditation, prayer, examining of the scriptures, and exploration of other denominations has been eye-opening to say the least. I can only hope and pray that God leads me to the path he wants me to follow.

Thanks for listening,
Wing Commander

snarf

Welcome Wing Commander !!! Vent away ! Sounds like you have really done your homework. Congratulations on your realization.

Gregor

Wing, you are a breath of fresh air. I know there are many many different situations out there and many folks feel they need to 'fade' or keep a low profile because of family entanglements, etc. But I really appreciate how you have drawn your conclusions and ACTED on them. You are a man after my own heart.

Best regards

Gregor

eyeslice

WingCommander
I think I know where you are coming - I have been there myself.
The only advice I have is take it easy, one step at a time is still a struggle for us x-JWs.
Eyeslice

unique1

Excellent post. It is good that you are finding your way and you have a supportive family. Best wishes.

Fleshybirdfodder

I don't know of the legal ramifications of using this jingle but... "I'm LOVIN' it!"

Well done!

BTW, I've not seen that video he was refering to. Does anyone have a link?

sweet tee

Great post! Welcome to the REAL WORLD! Not as scary as we were led to believe is it? No, what's REALLY SCARY is knowing that you fell for that MASSIVE SNOW JOB for so long. I'm just recently getting over being ticked off about it myself and I left over 7 years ago.

You just gave me some great questions for the dubs the next time I encounter them. You're absolutely correct about them not showing genuine love to their neighbors, along with the lazy-cheap-a** evangelical campaign ... what a crock of bull that is! They just don't want to expose the world to that garbage because they know they'll be taken down ASAP. Much like many other cults, they like to teach in secret.

Best wishes to you !

sweet tee