Went to my Uncle's Lutheran Funeral

by Seeker4 10 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Seeker4

  My uncle passed away a couple of weeks ago and I went to the funeral. One of my pet peeves, even as a Witness, was how bad the Witness funerals usually were. Just an opportunity to give a Witness about why the dead person wasn't going to heaven! Pathetic.

  I also hated that most Witness funerals talked very, very little about the dead person. Eulogizing was considered very bad form. They were never a celebration of the person's life, which is the kind of funeral that appeals to me.

  Well this Lutheran (I think) funeral was very interesting in that the minister was VERY animated and expressive. He also gave one of the very best explanations I've ever heard of what the Christian viewpoint is about those who have died and gone to heaven. For a believer, I think this guy's discussion of death would have been very comforting. For this atheist, it did nothing to change my views.

  But, except for one sentence, in which he said that my aunt, who attended his church (my uncle did not go to church) told him that my uncle believed in Jesus as his savior, this minister said nothing about my uncle's life. The sermon, much like a Witness one, used the funeral as an opportunity to discuss the minister's beliefs. In essence, it was his opportunity to witness. Yet my uncle had lived a long and fairly interesting life. He was a highly decorated WWII vet, yet none of that was mentioned. I found that very disappointing.

  Is this typical, or unusual in your experience?

  S4
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  hubert

  
  Hi Seeker, Sorry to hear about your uncle passing away.

  I think this minister talk was an unusual case. I know that every Catholic funeral I attended, there was a eulogy about the person that had died, either a letter written for the priest to read, or in most cases, a family member , sometimes even two at consectuive times, got up and gave a eulogy about how they knew the person, and their life experiences with them, including some of the funny things that they said or did. It was always very personal.

  I imagine most "Christiandom" funerals are dealt with in this way.

  Hubert

  editted to add....I went to two Episcopal funerals, and they also had a beautiful eulogy from family or friends, too. It's usually either the priest OR a family member/friend that gives the eulogy, not always both priest and family.
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  serendipity

  I attended a couple of Catholic services, and the priests mentioned very little about the deceased. However, some relatives eulogized them.
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  luna2

  I'm trying to remember Seeker. My grandmother was extremely active in her church and had a very personalized talk given by the female pastor. I don't remember my grandfather's talk...I know I went, but I don't remember what was said. Being a full-fledged dub at that time, I was probably stressing out about whether I was getting infested with church cooties. My other grandfather didn't go to church and my mother and uncle opted to have my uncle speak a few words at the funeral home. He did an amazing job...all kinds of history about my grandfathers life and background. Haven't been to any other "worldly" funerals.

  I suppose if the minister doesn't know the deceased well, there is always the temptation to fall into a "here's what I believe sermon".
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  JoeSinclair

  I've been to three Catholic funerals and at each of them the priest had a good personal friendship with the deceased and spoke fondly of them and their life. Also 1 or 2 close family members spoke briefly (5 minutes each) about the deceased, remembering some of the good bits etc. My extended family is quite religious, all catholic, so it may be slightly a-typical, they all know their priest really well etc.

  There was a lot of God stuff, some of it general God stuff and some of it seemingly to make the believers feel a little comfort in their time of distress. Not a great deal of straightforward preaching, unless it just went right over my head (or more concerningly, straight into my head! ;-)

  As an un-believer I was there in order to pay my respects to the deceased, I was immediate family-once removed in all cases. I've not been to any other types of funeral, so I don't know much about that, and I also can't compare thfunerals to other types of church stuff because I don't go..
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  Mystery

  I am sorry about your uncle.

  My neighbors young son (13 yrs old) passed away about 2 years ago. His father is a Holiness preacher, his family very involved in the church.

  I attended his funeral, it was enlightening: The pastor spoke highly of Daniel. There was very little "sermon" in his words. He did talk of Daniel being in heaven, but for everyone to give him a break because he really wasn't listening to the gathering honoring him right now, becasue the angels with the swords at the gate of heaven were in the middle of chasing him down to regain their swords! He added that God really has his hands full with Daniel up there with him right now.

  His friends, in his fencing class, paid tribute to him, showing us some of their skills.

  It was a gathering for Daniel, about Daniel - IMHO the way it should be.
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  lovelylil

  I think if you attend the church it is different. Because the pastor or priest will personally know you. It is very hard for them to speak about someone whose life they know nothing about. Usually the family will give them some information but it is general, were they married - name of spouse, names of kids and how many, job they had, etc.

  I personally have been to some good funeral talks in churches and bad ones. But when I found out the witnesses use an outline from the society, this really made me mad. Because most of the time, the elder giving the talk DID personally know the deceased. Sometimes for many years, even decades. Those "talks" should have been the best ever as far as knowing the persons life. But they wanted to make big momma happy and give a witness to strangers which was more important then giving a personal witness about the person's life. I found no compfort in those talks at all.

  And also, I wondered if they counted their time since sometimes many nonbelievers were in attendance. Anyway, I would not put it past some "brothers".
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  jstalin

  I recently attended a catholic funeral for an aunt of mine. The priest knew her well and he did a really good job of talking about her life and making everyone feel better (he even made us laugh a few times). I was impressed with his eulogy. He summed up her life well, even though she was a little rough around the edges, he made light of it and talked about her good qualities.
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  Dismembered

  Greetings S4

  Just recently here in VT, a somewhat close friend of mine died from a rare blood disease. Unfortunately at the young age of 34. He was quite active in the advancement of watchtower, which IMO is why he's dead. He signed off on the no blood thing. So now he's gone. My reason for posting to this thread is this.

  I cannot stomach any more watchtower anything, so as a consequence of that, I did not go to the funeral. I doubt I'll ever set foot in a KH again for ANY reason, be it weddings or a funeral. But I happened to chat with a work contemporary of mine and his ( the deceased), who did attend his funeral talk. He was amazed & bewildered, that while attending and listening, nothing was said about his personal life , and any of his accomplishments which were many for such a young man, that were not mentioned at all. He was an avid golfer, a sportsman, etc. All watchtower does as has been stated, is seize the opportunity to advance their membership. Even at such a solemn occasion. Such a sad thing!He also asked another one of his work contemporaries who happened to be there, why? he refused to take a blood transfusion. Here's the answer he got. A resounding, and I quote "Jehovah's Witnesses don't take blood transfusion" end quote. That was the explanation he was given for his not excepting blood. Suffice it to say, this guy was quite puzzled, to say the least by it.

  Dismembered
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  TheListener

  From my experience the main difference is whether the minister/pastor knew the deceased individual personally. If they did they usually eulogize. If they didn't they tend to mention one or two brief things and discuss general beliefs.

  All in all the "worldly" services I've been too are more comforting than the generic KH ones. The KH just seems so sterile and cold, whereas a lot of churches have a nice homey and family feel to them.

  I'm sorry to hear about your uncle.