I Can't Do Any More - Can You?

by Joe Grundy 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  Joe Grundy

  When I first posted here, I explained that it was because although I am not, never have been, never will, be a JW, I have (earthly, as an atheist) loving concern for my JW neighbours/friends.

  Just recently, I found out that the mom is pregnant. She is not young, has a 6 year old, and a 2 year old who is like a firecracker!

  I have offered to do basic things like take/collect the 6 year old to and from school, take the kids for walks on beach, etc. etc. Non-committal response.

  I have previously posted my concerns re JW influence on kids - may be too late for parents. Dad is a MS (as I understand).

  Because of my concerns, I can't even tell you which country I'm in (not for my sake, for theirs, just in case this is monitored and they're identified).

  I am not used to being so helpless, AAArrrggghhh!!!!!
• 

  sass_my_frass

  I really think that everybody has to make their way out on their own, if it's going to happen. My parents are driving themselves into depressive hell because for thirty years they've been expecting the end, and now their bodies are shutting down, and it's still 'just around the corner'. I'm torn - do I tell them what they know in an effort to get them free and live life, or would that really only make things worse for them? Why can't I just let them die happy (or their version of happy).

  Different situation with a young family for sure. Don't be pushy. They might get suspicious to be honest - why would somebody be wanting to spend time with my children unless he's a pervert? Sorry, just thought it's something that hasn't occurred to you. But in a while it might occur to them that the only person who has offered to help isn't a witness. Just be kind.
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  KW13

  I suppose, if your just a nice guy and a good influence the kid(s) won't feel so strongly that the only nice and good people are jw's. You being you, i am sure will help.
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  parakeet

  Joe, I've been following your posts regarding this family. IMO, if they reject your well-intentioned offer of help, they don't deserve it. I think the best you can do is to tell them that your offer to help is always there if they decide to avail themselves of it, and then leave them alone. You can lead a horse to water, ..............
• 

  Scully

  Don't take it personally that your kindness and generous offers of assistance have been met with reticence.

  The JW indoctrination process virtually demonizes anyone who is not part of the Organization™. They are taught to distrust Worldly People™, even those who are kind and who have no ulterior motive to their kindness.

  At best, they likely regard you as someone who is so nice that they ought to be a JW. We had a good rapport with one of our medical specialists when I was growing up, and that was what my mom would say about this doctor. In retrospect, I think she may have had a bit of a crush on him.
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  Joe Grundy

  Thanks, Sass.

  I don't think the my wanting to help witht he kids would be too great a problem. They know I was a cop for 30 years, have my own kids, dealt with more child abuse than most people can imagine (thank WTF, etc.).

  Neither of the parents' first language is English, which is what their congo speaks.

  Shit!!!!! (excuse me). This sis so frustrating, because if I could reveal more, I could ask for better help to help them.

  Sorry to vent.
• 

  Joe Grundy

  Well, I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I am not prepared to stand by and do nothing whilst another generation of this family gets swallowed up by the bullying shite that is WTBTS.

  I have children myself - a boy and a girl. They are now 25 and 23 and are (thank whatever/whoever) doing well. The people I am talking of have 2 kids. The eldest speaks 3 languages. She is having a shit time in school re celebrating holidays etc. The 2 year old is so lively that with the proper encouragement the sky is the limit for her. Mom is lovely, intelligent and enquiring, I can see her as a doctor or something. Dad is a 'salt of the earth' type who would (and does) do anything for anybody.

  One way or another, I have got to do something.
• 

  Highlander

  No offense at all Joe.

  I've been following your posts with interest. We're glad to have you here. You are a reminder that there are many good people in this world that want the best for

  close friends, loved ones,, even neighbors.

  It's funny though,, my mom(a current j-dub) would view you as an evil satanic influence trying to steer your neighbors into 'satan's trap'(a common JW phrase)

  I, on the other hand view you as you really are. You have legitimate and justified concern for your neighbors who belong in this cult, and your doing your best to help them.

  Keep up the great work Joe!
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  parakeet

  Joe, you've reached the point many of us exJWs have reached with our family and friends who remain in the org. That point is the brick wall of JW indoctrination that we beat our heads against in vain. If you can get through to these people, more power to you.
  But please prepare yourself for the possibility that they may resist every effort on your part to help them; in fact, the more concerted effort you make to help them, the more they may view it as opposition and proof that "truth" is on their side. If that's what happens, try not to take it personally as failure on your part. You've already done more for your neighbors than most people.
• 

  Joe Grundy

  Thanks again for your responses. I accept, of course, what you say.

  But I'm not used to not being able to do anything. It's 5.30 a.m. here - sunrise -and I haven't been to bed yet.

  I'll call and see Mom later. I think she's having a difficult pregnancy. I'll offer to do what I can.

  But, I think Dad works for a spiffy guy in the congo (2 jobs at least).

  This, to be honest, is breaking my heart. And anyone who thinks that a 30 year cop has no heart left to break knows diddly-squat.