Welcome! I would enjoy reading your DA letter. If you need any help turning it into an HTML file (a Web page) just let me know.
I also DA'd. I felt the clean break by my choosing, on my terms, was preferable since my wife is still a JW and would have been dragged through the muck and mire right along with me. She is too dear to my heart for me to put her through that, so...I took the "officially opting out" path. Unlike those who fade, I have no concen whatsoever whether anyone hears this or that about me.
Your analogy about being covered with tar is very good. I haven't been dunked in tar, but I have played mud volleyball in 1 foot deep clay mud pits. You find clay for days in spots you never noticed having, no matter how well you shower. You keep finding bits of clay and very quartz bits in your snot when you blow your nose, keep scraping more from under your nails...scrub all you like it is in for the duration. I imagine tar would be similar only stickier.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul